Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Now, my lord, what shall we do, if we perceive

Lord Hastings will not yield to our complot?

 

Duke of Buckingham

King Richard the Third                Act III, Scene i, Line 191

The Duke of Buckingham is asking the Duke of Gloster (Richard). And the answer?

Chop off his head, man.

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

Complot, by the way is a plot or conspiracy, and it’s in the online Merriam Webster. Granted, it’s listed as archaic, but it’s there, nonetheless.

Any more questions?

Yes, have you seen my little bone treat? I think I left it up there when I was sitting with you. It might have dropped down the side there.

I meant any more questions about… oh, never mind. Let me take a look.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Why, there they are both, baked in that pie;

Whereof thier mother daintily hath fed,

Eating the flesh that she herself hath bred.

‘Tis true, ‘tis true; witness my knife’s sharp point.

 

Titus

Titus Andronicus                  Act V, Scene iii, Line 62

 

 

Yes, that’s right, Titus killed Tamora’s two adult sons and baked them in a pie. But don’t worry – Tamora doesn’t have to grieve over it very long, because the next line is Titus stabbing her to death. Then the line after that is Saturninus killing Titus, followed by Lucius killing Saturninus. Oh, and let’s not forget that before this all got started Titus kicked things off by killing his own daughter.

Thankfully though, that’s the end of the killing. The last page and a half of this play is speechifying and commiseration, as the survivors get set to pick up the pieces and carry on.

And there you have it: Titus Andronicus.

Yikes! 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I’ll follow, sir. But first, an’t please the gods,

I’ll hide my master from the flies as deep

As these poor pickaxes can dig: and when

With wild wood-leaves and weeds I ha’ strew’d his grave,

And on it said a century of prayers,

Such as I can, twice o’er, I’ll weep and sigh;

And leaving so his service, follow you,

So please you entertain me.

 

Imogen

Cymbeline                             Act IV, Scene ii, Line 391

 

The ‘master’ that Imogen wants to bury and say prayers over is Cloten, but Imogen doesn’t know that. She thinks it’s her love, Posthumous, but she’s telling Caius Lucius that it’s someone named Richard du Champ.

Got that? It’s Cloten, she thinks it’s Posthumous, and she says it’s Richard du Champ.

 

Nothing confusing about that, eh Mojo?

I’m pretty sure he agrees with me.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Neither.

                 What, neither?

        Neither.

  

Autolycus, 

                Dorcas, 

                            Autolycus

The Winter’s Tale                         Act IV, Scene iii, Line 306

 

Apparently the answer is ‘neither’, and Dorcas needed confirmation of that. Do we care what the question was? It’s something about going to the grange or the mill, and the answer is neither: neither the grange nor the mill.

Do we need to delve further to get a better understanding, or shall we discuss the meter used in a line made up of two different people talking?

How about Neither?

I don't remember asking you.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Thou whoreson zed! Thou unnecessary letter!-  My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with him.—‘Spare my gray beard,’ you wagtail?

 

Kent

King Lear                             Act II, Scene ii, Line 68

 

This is a continuation of the spat between Oswald and Kent. It began because of Oswald’s disrespect for Lear, which Kent would not suffer in the least. It led, a little earlier in this scene to the longest bit of name-calling I’ve ever seen. Here’s Kent’s answer to Oswald when the latter asked him, What dost thou know me for?

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

Don’t hold back, Kent. Tell us how you really feel.

I don't understand half those words, Mr. Blagys, but it doesn't sound like Kent is holding back much.

 

I'm always forgetting that this little guy doesn't get sarcasm.

No, Mojo, he's not holding back much, and I don't understand half those words either. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sir, make me not your story.

 

Isabella

Measure for Measure           Act I, Scene iv, Line 30

 

I think that Sir, make me not your story, might just be an expression, a figure of speech. Lucio has just told Isabella that her brother is in jail for getting a girl pregnant. Get out of town, she might say; or in this case, make me not your story. That’s the only sense that I can make out of it.

I have a glossary of words that Will used that have a different meaning than they have today, but unfortunately I don’t have a glossary of expressions. I do have a number of different compilations of his works, some with more footnotes than others. I could go through those and see if any have a footnote on this line. But I don’t think I’ll be doing that right now. So unless someone has an objection, make me not your story is going to be the same as get out of town.

Okay?

I'm pretty sure that Mojo has no objections. 

In fact, if he were to object I would respond with Make me not your story!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Let it not be believed for womanhood!

Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage

To stubborn critics,-- apt, without a theme,

For depravation,-- to square the general sex

By Cressid’s rule: rather think this is not Cressid.

 

Troilus

Troilus and Cressida             Act V, Scene ii, Line 132

 

Let’s see if I can give you some context without going all Long-story-short-Tony.

Titular Troilus has just been spying on titular Cressida whilst she talked with Diomedes. It was made clear to Troilus that Cressida has given him up and is now taken Diomedes as her new guy. Now  Cressida and Diomedes have left, and Troilus is bemoaning the situation to Ulysses. 

Given that, can you make sense of Today’s Lines? Still need help? Read it a few times, knowing that Troilus does not want to believe what he’s just seen. And pay careful attention to the punctuation. I’m sure you can make sense of it. Oh, all right; here’s Pete’s Version.

Oh, don’t believe woman can be like this! Remember: we had mothers, so don’t believe those who want you to believe (without any good cause) that all women are bound to be unfaithful like Cressida has been. I would rather simply believe this was not Cressida.

How’s that? Makes sense?

I think it’s a little funny that he brings mothers into the discussion to justify that all women can’t be unfaithful. After all, mothers are perfect. Right?

Yes they are. 

Is there a question here?