Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                               

Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood,

The letter was not nice, but full of charge

Of dear import; and the neglecting it

May do much danger. Friar John, go hence;

Get me an iron crow, and bring it straight

Unto my cell.

 

Friar Laurence

Romeo and Juliet               Act V, Scene ii, Line 18

 

Friar Knucklehead’s plan is starting to unravel here.

First off, an iron crow is a crowbar. I’m just bringing that up because I’m liable to say iron crow the next time I mean crowbar, which, to be fair, isn’t all that often. But nevertheless…

Now, back to the unravelling plan. Recall that the plan was for Romeo to return from Mantua (where he’s been banished to) in order to rescue Juliet from the crypt. Also recall that Juliet would be trapped in the crypt because she took the sleeping potion to make everyone think she had died. And finally, recall that Friar Laurence, aka Friar Knucklehead, sent a message to Romeo about the plan via Friar John. Well now in this scene we have Friar John returning having NOT delivered the message to Romeo. Why not?

Going to find a barefoot brother out,

On of our order, to associate me,

Here in this city visiting the sick,

And finding him, the searchers of the town,

Suspecting that we both were in a house

Where the infectious pestilence did reign,

Seal’d up the doors, and would not let us forth;

So that my speed to Mantua there was stay’d.

 

In other words, Friar John managed to get himself trapped in a quarantined house, and he never even got out of Verona. So Romeo got NO message. Oh boy. Now Father Knucklehead’s gotta go rescue Juliet from the crypt himself.

Quick, get the iron crow!

 

 I think we’ll just sit this one out.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines 

                                            

To whose hands have you sent the lunatic king?

Speak.

Regan

King Lear             Act III, Scene vii, Line 45

 

The answer to Regan’s question, in case you were wondering, is Dover. Gloster has sent the king to Dover. Why did he send him to Dover? He answers Regan, 

Because I would not see thy cruel nails

Pluck out his poor old eyes; nor thy fierce sister

In his anointed flesh stick boorish fangs. 

To protect him from you, you bitch, and your fanged sister, that’s what Gloster answers. And whilst that my be a good answer, it’s not going to serve him very well. In fact, it will end up being poor old Gloster’s eyes that get plucked out. 

Yeah, Gloster does not make out well in this play. Poor old guy.

Poor old guy. I would never let that happen to you, Mr. Blagys. I would protect you. 

I know you would, Mojo. Thank you.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                              

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

John of Gaunt

King Richard the Second         Act II, Scene i, Line 31

                                 

I’m going to do something completely different today by doing something the same. We’re going to spend a second day on yesterday’s line. Yup, you heard right.

In particular, we’ll work with the first two lines of yesterday’s speech. I feel I owe it to you after throwing so much at you yesterday.

Remember that yesterday I gave you a boatload of context, so there’s no need to repeat all that nonsense. The only thing I will repeat is that John of Gaunt is giving this speech on his deathbed. So…

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired. I love that! That is a great line that you can use to preface literally anything you want to say. Well, almost anything. Obviously, since you’re (hopefully) not going to be on your deathbed (expiring), and you’re not (at least not always) going to be passing judgement on someone, you can generally leave out the second line about expiring and fortelling of him. Just use the first line and then add whatever particular thought you were going to throw out in the first place.

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired; why don’t we forget about trying to decide on a restaurant and just throw a few burgers on the grill.

Get the idea? It’s perfect. And it’s only seven words, six if you count the hyphened new-inspired as one.

I love it. Yeah, that’s all we’ve got for today.

 

 

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired to have come up with the idea of spending two days on the same Totally Random Line!

Urrrgghhh! Make him stop, please make him stop. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                             

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

His rash fierce blaze of riot cannot last,

For violent fires soon burn out themselves;

Small showers last long, but sudden storms are short;

He tires betimes that spurs too fast betimes;

With eager feeding food doth choke the feeder:

Light vanity, insatiate cormorant,

Consuming means, soon preys upon itself.

 

John of Gaunt

King Richard the Second         Act II, Scene i, Line 31

                                  

Today's Totally Random Line is the beginning of a very well-known speech; at least to anyone who has spent any time with Will’s works. Different parts of this speech have been quoted by everyone from me to Winston Churchill, so let’s talk about it for a minute. 

First, context; and this is going to go on for a bit, so you might want to consider bailing now.

Remember that Edward III had a whole bunch of kids, many of them males. Yes, that’s right, I’m really going back to Edward III. His oldest son, Edward the Black Prince, predeceased his father, so that when Edward III died, the son of Edward the Black Prince became king. That was Richard the Second. So now, you have a young man becoming king, and a bunch of older, wiser uncles (the other sons of Edward III) looking on. Eventually it is the son of one of these uncles, Richard's first cousin, who decides that he is more suited to being king and dethrones Richard the second. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. 

Richard, at least according to Will, and certainly some historians, was not a very good ruler. In today’s scene we have John of Gaunt, one of the uncles of Richard talking. John is on his deathbed speaking with one of the other uncles about what a louse their nephew Richard is, what a rotten king he is, and how he’s ruining England. He goes on for quite a few lines talking about beautiful, sacred England before pronouncing that because of Richard it

Is now leased out—I die pronouncing it—

Like to a tenement or pelting farm (a paltry or petty homestead).

England, bound in with the triumphant sea,

Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege

Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame,

With inky blots, and rotten parchment bonds;

That England, that was wont to conquer others,

Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.

Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life,

How happy then were my ensuing death!

I had to finish that section of the speech, and I’m going to get political here, so heads up.

Now, I think that if you changed just a very few lines in this speech (mainly transpose America for England), you would get a semblance of how so many of us feel right now. Richard the Second surrounded himself with sycophants and did a very poor job of running the country, as John of Gaunt readily points out. But it seems to me that the major emotion that John is expressing is a sadness for his country, not a hatred towards his nephew Richard. Don’t get me wrong: he's not happy with Richard, and he spends the first nine lines talking about him. But the focus of most of what he goes on about after that, is England, and the worry that he has for it.

So too, I think, that is where I’m at. I don’t want to talk about the guy running the country right now. Oh sure, I don’t think much of him as a person, or a so-called leader, but I have no control over what he is. No, what really concerns me is not him, it’s my home, America; and even more so, the home that my children or grandchildren will be ending up with.

John of Gaunt was right to worry, because the reign of Richard II descended into civil strife that lasted the better part of a century. 

I can only hope our current situation does not reverberate so drastically into the future.

Here's the full speech of John of Gaunt. Please believe me when I tell you that it is well worth the read. 

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

His rash fierce blaze of riot cannot last,

For violent fires soon burn out themselves;

Small showers last long, but sudden storms are short;

He tires betimes that spurs too fast betimes;

With eager feeding food doth choke the feeder:

Light vanity, insatiate cormorant,

Consuming means, soon preys upon itself.

This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,

This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

This other Eden, demi-Paradise;

This fortress built by Nature for herself

Against infection and the hand of war;

This happy breed of men, this little world,

This precious stone, set in the silver sea,

Which serves it in the office of a wall,

Or as a moat defensive to a house,

Against the envy of less happier lands;

This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England,

This nurse, this teeming womb of royal kings,

Fear’d by their breed, and famous by their birth,

Renowned for their deeds as far from home,--

For Christian service and true chivalry,--

As in the sepulchre, in stubborn Jewery,

Of the world’s ransom, blessed Mary’s Son;--

This land of such dear souls, this dear, dear land,

Dear for her reputation through the world,

Is now leased out—I die pronouncing it—

Like to a tenement or pelting farm

England, bound in with the triumphant sea,

Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege

Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame,

With inky blots, and rotten parchment bonds;

That England, that was wont to conquer others,

Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.

Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life,

How happy then were my ensuing death!

Mojo, being apolitcal, wishes to abstain from any participation in today's post. 

I must respect his wishes. 

 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                               

 Bear the boy hence; he shall not come about her;

         [Exit Mamillius with some of the guards]

Away with him!—and let her sport herself

With that she’s big with;--for ‘tis Polixenes

Has made thee swell thus.

 

Leontes

The Winter’s Tale              Act II, Scene i, Line 61

                                   

Before you say anything, let me say that I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking More of this Shakespeare gobble-de-goop, and What the heck is this guy even saying? But if you knew what was going on, in other words if I didn’t spring these four lines of you with no context, you’d have no trouble at all understanding this. So, yes, you’re going to have to sit through some context. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Here goes, and I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

Leontes is the speaker and he’s interacting with his wife, Hermione. She’s just told him that she’s pregnant, but Leontes is convinced that she’s been cheating on him with Polixenes and that Polixenes is the father of the unborn child. Mamillius, the boy in this scene, is the young son of Leontes and Hermione.

Okay, now go back and read the four lines, and try to tell me that you don’t understand them. Now the lines just become more splendid examples of Will’s mastery of the language, don’t they?

 

 

Oh for cryin' out loud; examples of Will's mastery of the language? Where does this guy come up with this stuff?

Enough already, I’m outta here.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                               

 What’s that?

 

First Senator

Timon of Athens         Act III, Scene v, Line xxx

                                   

Well, there’s a nice short line! 

Would you care to know what the senator is reacting to when he says ‘What’s that?’

Should I wake him up and ask him if he wants to know what the senator is reacting to?

Nah!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                               

Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’s chin.

Pandarus

Troilus and Cressida  Act I, Scene ii, Line 149

                                  

Remember, the word marry in this context has nothing to do with marriage. It’s simply an intro word for a sentence which is a reply to a question, like well, or so. By the way, have you noticed how many people start their replies today with the word so? It really is interesting.

What was your favorite part of the trip, Bert?

So, I liked Merida a lot, but nothing can surpass the spectacle of the Alhambra in Granada.

Anyhoo, Cressida asked her Uncle Pandarus what Helen was laughing at, and this was his answer. There’s a bit of a long explanation/follow-up to this (something about the hairs on his chin representing his father’s sons and a forkt one being Paris, which he then pluckt out), but it didn’t make much sense to me, so I’m not going to go into it any further.

Let’s face it, some days you get a good line, and some days not so much. Heck, yesterday’s line I just skipped altogether.  

So as a little bonus today (and that is a proper use of the word so) I’m giving you something a little more thought provoking. It’s Kareem’s Daily Quote. This should give you something to ponder.

Kareem’s Daily Quote

He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.

Plato (427-346 B.C.), Greek philosopher

 

 

Skipped altogether? Hey. Hey, Mrs. B., did you notice that? He skipped yesterday’s line altogether.

 Yes, I noticed Mojo. I noticed.