Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves.

 Prince of Morocco

The Merchant of Venice        Act II, Scene vi,  Line 7

 

This is the inscription on the second box, the silver one, and the Prince is reading it. He reads the inscriptions on all the boxes and, of course, chooses the wrong one. Portia’s picture is in the lead box which has the inscription ‘Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.’ The gold box, the one the prince chooseth says ‘Who chooseth me shall gain what many men desire.’

These inscriptions are supposed to test a man’s logic and, more importantly betray his true character. At least that’s the theory.
The three inscriptions can be pretty thought provoking, if you’re so inclined. Of course, I can at times be so inclined; probably more so today than ever.

Why so today, you ask? Today is the first day of my retirement. The proverbial first day of the rest of my life. It’s got me being very philosophical. And as you know, I am a philosopher.

But getting back to the inscriptions, supposedly dear old dad set them up so that the person who chose the lead box would be deserving of his daughter, and the estate that went with her. Certainly, of the three, the lead box, and its inscription make it the hardest, or at least, most unlikely choice of most men. But there’s got to be more to dad’s theory than just that.

Well, this is something that you can think on; or even better, find someone to discuss it with. What, you’re thinking that I should discuss it with Mojo? I’m up early this morning (first day of retirement; remember?) and that little guy is still in bed. Perchance I’ll bring up the subject of Portia’s boxes with him later on.

The little guy is under there somewhere. It's not his first day of retirement, so he feels no need to get up early.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Escalus,--

 

Duke

Measure For Measure       Act I, Scene i,  Line 1

That’s right, it’s the first line/word of the play.

                                     ACT I. SCENE I.

An apartment in the Duke’s palace.

Enter Duke, Escalus, Lords, & Attendants.

Duke               Escalus,--

Escalus            My Lord?

 

And it goes on from there.

This could pretty much be the first two lines of any of Will’s plays (assuming you substitute Escalus for other names depending on which play you’re talking about). These lines/words don’t really tell us anything, do they. Well, other than the fact that the first speaker is probably the superior to the second speaker, based on the way he answered. And of course we know that the second speaker is named Escalus. Okay, that’s two things. Anything else? We don’t even know yet that the first speaker is the Duke. We do if we’re reading the play, but not if we’re seeing it performed.

Right then; three words, and we know two things. 

Wait, we know that the first speaker is going to be asking something of the second speaker. We don’t yet know what it is, but based on the way he said the name, and the way Escalus answered, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s going to be looking for something from Escalus.

Well it’s a short scene, so I just listened to it. Six minutes, eighty-three lines.

What does the Duke want from Escalus? Advice. He’s leaving town on a trip and he wants to know if it’s a good idea to put Angelo in charge whilst he’s gone. Escalus says, sure, so they call in Angelo and give him the reins.

And that’s about it. On to scene two.

But hold on a minute. There’s something interesting here. That’s right… something interesting in Shakespeare.

So the Duke, in answer to My Lord?, gives an interesting, perhaps over-wordy speech to Escalus. And this speech is anything but easy to follow. And to make it a little more confusing, right in the middle of it is this cryptic little section

Since I am put to know that your own science

Exceeds, in that, the lists of all advice

My strength can give you: then no more remains

But that to your sufficiency…………..

……………………… as your worth is able,

And let them work.

 

I looked at that and thought, what that heck are all those periods about. Naturally I went to my First Folio, and that had no such thing. Rather it had a comma between sufficiency and as your worth. Not satisfied, I went to my G.B. Harrison compilation. That had just the comma as well, but it also had a very interesting footnote. The note said A sentence seems to have been omitted between “sufficiency” and “able”.

Huh!

I went back, read it again, and sure enough – it does sound like something is missing there.

So my compilation, the one that I use every day, has no footnotes, but apparently to represent that something is missing, it has all these dots.

Huh!

Yes, that’s right: Huh!

That's right - fast asleep. Talk about not interested? He made it as far as My Lord?,

and that was about it. 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Look, who comes here:

Will you be chid?

Timon

Timon of Athens           Act I, Scene i,  Line 177

That is to say, will you be scolded. Timon sees Apemantus coming and he’s warning the people that he’s talking to that Apemantus is going to be scolding them all. Though I’m not sure scolding is the right word to describe it. Timon addresses him as gentle Apemantus and the latter responds with

Till I be gentle, stay thou for thy good morrow;
When thou art Timon’s dog, and these knaves honest.

So he’s not scolding so much as he just being rude and insulting. Or perhaps we should say he’s speaking out in angry or displeased rebuke. That the MW definition of chide/chid. Yeah, that works better.

In any event, Apemantus is the anti-social, anti-people character that Timon will become by the end of the play. His favorite line is probably one that I heard my friend Uwe say once: I hate people.

Unhealthy as that is, I know I feel that way more than just a little bit. Have you ever heard yourself thinking that? I hate people. It’s kind of tough not to, at least occasionally.  Uwe and I were driving to dinner once when someone cut us off. I was driving and Uwe was in the passenger seat. He watched the other car drive away and stated very simply, very matter-of-fairly, I hate people. Of course he was really referring to the person that had cut us off, not all people, but it came out a little bit funny. To be clear, Uwe was not an Apemantus. In fact, Uwe was a pretty decent fellow.

Here's a pic of Mojo from when he was just a few months old.

This little polar bear has always been the polar opposite of a people hater. In fact, I don't think he's ever met a people that he didn't like. He loves people! 

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, no, my reasons are too deep and dead;--

Too deep and dead, poor infants, in their graves.

 

Queen Elizabeth

King Richard the Third       Act IV, Scene iv,  Line 363

 

Well, we’ve been to this scene before. It’s a fairly long scene, and in this part of it Richard is trying to talk Elizabeth into helping him woo her daughter. But Elizabeth knows that Richard has killed half her family, including her young sons, so she wants no part of this. For every reason that Richard gives her to help him, she has an equally good reason as to why she shouldn’t. Finally Richard says,

Your reasons are too shallow and too quick.

And that’s what Elizabeth is replying to with today’s line.
The guy is responsible for the deaths of her two young sons, the princes in the tower.

I think she gives a pretty reasonable response; To say the very least.

Speaking of little princes, our own little Prince Mojo has declined to join us today. No, he didn't give a reason, but apparently he had something more important to do. 

I wonder what that could have been.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

That approaches apace: I would gladly have him see his company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.

 

First Lord

All’s Well That Ends Well            Act IV, Scene iii,  Line 31

 

This is All’s Well That Ends Well and you know what that means: that’s right - I have no idea what’s going on because I don’t know anything about this play. Well, I know a little, a very little. Nonetheless, I have no idea who the speaker is, what he’s talking about, or what’s taking place in this scene. So, now what do we do?
I suppose we could read the play. No, that’s not going to happen this morning.

As you can see, Mojo was all excited about getting started this morning.

Two minutes later, when he found out that today’s line was from All’s Well, he was pretty much done.

I felt pretty much the same way.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

This is strange: your father’s in some passion

That works him strongly.

 

Ferdinand

The Tempest                   Act IV, Scene i,  Line 144

 

This is at the end of the masque that Prospero is presenting for Ferdinand and Miranda. Prospero has suddenly remembered that he has to deal with Caliban, Stephano and Trinculo.

This got me to thinking if I ever had to deal with the father of a girlfriend who was in a passion that worked him strongly, and I don’t think that I ever did. Lucky me, I guess. On the other hand, I never had the father of a girlfriend throw a masque for her and me either.

No, I’m not going to ask Mojo if he's ever had this experience. I know for a fact that he hasn’t. 

"Well, have you, Mojo?"

"Thinking, thinking..."

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!

 

Dromio of Syracuse

The Comedy of Errors    Act III, Scene i,  Line 32

 

Yes Mojo, I believe these are all insults that Dromio of Syracuse is yelling at Dromio of Ephesus. No Mojo, I would never call you a coxcomb. 

Merriam Webster online:

Mome: blockhead, fool (archaic)

Capon: a castrated male chicken

Coxcomb: jester’s cap (archaic), fool (obsolete)

Patch: noun (2) fool, dolt

Nothing for Malt-horse.

So, other than malt-horse, these insults are all available in Merriam Webster online. How about that?

He's such a sensitive little guy.

I would never call him a coxcomb, or a mome, or malt-horse, or any of these things.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Who? Sylvia?

 

Thurio

Two Gentlemen of Verona     Act IV, Scene ii,  Line 23

 

“Who’s Sylvia?”

“No, Mojo, Who? Sylvia?”

“No, who is Sylvia?”

“Oh. I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

“Yes, I’m not sure. I don’t know this play very well.”

“So, you’ve been doing this for over seven years, and you still don’t know the plays?”

“Well, I know them, but I don’t know all of them really well, and this is one of the ones that I don’t know well at all.”

“Ugfff. Can we play throw the chipmunk now?”

Some days we don't get too far with this new format.

I don't know where your stuffed Chipmunk is, Mojo.

I don't know who Sylvia is, and I don't know where the stuffed chipmunk is, and I'm beginning to seriously question why I decided to include you in this blog.

Ooof!

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Why, thou full dish of fool, Troy.

 

Thersites

Troilus and Cressida                      Act V, Scene i,  Line 9

 

So, we're at it again, Mojo and me, taking our morning foray into the world of Elizabethan drama.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s pretty simple Mojo: Thersites is delivering a letter to Achilles who is hanging out with his buddy Patroclus. The latter asks Thersites where the letter is from, and Thersites answers that it’s from Troy, calling Patroclus a full dish of fool in the process.”

“So, he’s calling the guy a full dish of fool?” My little man looked up at me, obviously confused.

“Yes, you’ve got it.”

“A full dish of fool: that’s an insult?”

“Yes, obviously. Would you like me to call you a full dish of fool?”

“No, I’d like you to get me a full dish of food.”

“Okay, well now you’re changing the subject.”

“No I’m not. I’d like a full dish of food, please.”

“It’s hard to stay on topic with you.”

“I think we’re on the topic of a full dish of food. What’s so hard about that?”

“Okay.”

1. It didn't stay full very long.

2. Why do I feel like some little guy with a tail just made a full dish of fool out of me?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

If there be one among the fair’st of Greece

That holds his honor higher than his ease;

That seeks his praise more than he fears his peril;

That knows his valour, and knows not his fear;

That loves his mistress more than in confession

With truant vows to her own lips he loves,

And dare avow her beauty and her worth

In other arms than hers,-- to him this challenge.

 

Aeneas

Troilus and Cressida                      Act I, Scene iii,  Line 268

 

Well, Aeneas is a Trojan and he’s come down to the Greek camp to issue a challenge. The challenge is for any of the Greeks That holds his honour high, etc, etc. to come and fight Troy’s best guy. That would be Hector.

Now we were looking at today’s passage, Mojo and I, and it sort of made sense until we got to the bit about loving his mistress more than in confession. That’s the part where Mojo looked up and me and said, “What’s this nonsense?” Well I certainly didn’t know and I told him as much. “And you’re thinking about using me to be your spokesman for telling people to read Shakespeare?” he said. I tried to explain to him that there are passages that we would come across that might take a little work to get a true understanding of. “Sure,” he replied, “let me know how that works out for you. I’m pretty sure my breakfast is calling me.” And off he strutted.

So I guess we’re going to have to work out the kinks in this Mojo Reads Shakespeare idea of mine.

Maybe I should just stick to letting the guy help with getting the knots out of my shoelaces. Leastways, that's what he told me he was doing. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

                   If thou couldst, doctor, cast

The water of my hand, find her disease,

And purge it to a sound and pristine health,

I would applaud thee to the very echo,

That should applaud again.

 

Macbeth

Macbeth                                  Act V, Scene iii,  Line 51

  

Today we have our friend Macbeth, not Frank Macbeth, or Sam Macbeth – just Macbeth. He’s in a bit of a sour mood. His servant has just told him that there are thousands of English soldiers marching on his castle, and the doctor has just told him that Lady Macbeth (at least she has a title; of course if she didn’t then we wouldn’t know, when we said Macbeth, whether we were talking about him or her) is ill and has a disease of the mind that he has no cure for.

Not a lot of good news for Macbeth. Today’s Totally Random Lines are Macbeth’s response to the doctor. I must say, it’s a bit of an odd response. First, that after all that the Macbeth couple have done, to expect the doctor to bring her back to a sound and pristine health. Yes, that’s right – not just sound but pristine. And if the doctor could do that, Macbeth would applaud him to the very echo, that should applaud again? That seems like a fairly odd way to compensate the good doctor, doesn’t it? And first off, what's this cast the water of my hands nonsense?

It's a fairly odd line today from the Scottish play.

This is the result of the doctor purging Lady Blagys's disease and bringing her to a sound and pristine health. To be clear, neither Lady Blagys, nor her husband Blagys, was involved in any murder plot. Lady Blagys's disease was flat feet. It seems unlikely that Will would write a play about flat feet, but you never know.

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

And of all Christian souls, I pray God. –God be wi’ you.                                                                                                 [Exit]

 

Ophelia

Hamlet                    Act IV, Scene v,  Line 198

The stage direction at the end of that line says Exit, but in fact Ophelia checked out a while ago. She’s pretty much gone at this point, singing silly songs and talking nonsense. And this is the last we’ll see of Ophelia in this play. A couple of scenes down the road we hear of her drowning, and then the scene after that she shows up at her own burial.

Ophelia has lent her name to all sorts of things in today's world, most of them in one way or another relating to troubled girls, troubled young women. Here's one example.

Natalie Merchant - Ophelia (Official Music Video) (youtube.com)

Ophelia was a bride of God
A novice Carmelite
In sister cells the cloister bells
Tolled on her wedding night

Ophelia was the rebel girl
A blue stocking suffragette
Who remedied society
Between her cigarettes

And Ophelia was the sweetheart
To a nation overnight
Curvaceous thighs, vivacious eyes
Love was at first sight, love was at first sight
Love

Ophelia was a demi-goddess
In pre-war babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns

Ophelia was the mistress to
A vegas gambling man
Signora Ophelia Maraschino
Mafia courtesan

Ophelia was the circus queen
The female cannonball
Projected through five flaming hoops
To wild and shocked applause
To wild and shocked applause

Ophelia was a tempest cyclone
A goddamn hurricane
Your common sense, your best defense
They wasted and in vain

For Ophelia'd know your every woe
And every pain you'd ever had
She'd sympathize and dry your eyes
Help you to forget, and help you to forget
And help you to forget

Ophelia's mind went wandering
You'd wonder where she goes
Through secret doors down corridors
She wanders there alone, all alone

Es kostet mich keine kleine krise die verunreinigung und das
Es kostet mich keine kleine Krise die Verunreinigung und das
Suechtige aus meinem Leben auszuschliessen
But it is for me no little effort to exclude
The polluting and the addictive from my life

Compondo musica en un estado de ecstases
Composing music in a state of ecstasy
Fuerza de vida, de vida
Strength of life, of life
Mein Vater ist ein Architekt
My father is an architect

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

They call drinking deep, dyeing scarlet; and when you breathe in your watering, they cry ‘hem!’ and bid you play it off.

 

Hal

King Henry the Fourth Part I          Act II, Scene iv,  Line 16

 

I guess that I am not in too much of a Shakespearean mood this morn. Anon, anon.

Anyway, Hal is just rambling about how he hangs out with a bunch of drinking buddies. And quite a bit of rambling it is.

2024 03 15 2 2 1 60 9 1487 00 1 1 2 234 00 16x9 156 6 3 4 (youtube.com)

Well, I couldn't find anything relevant to Rambling Hal, so here's The Grateful Dead live from Philadelphia, July 7, 1989 (that's 21 days after Nina Rose Marie was born) with Ramble On (Nina) Rose.

I suggest you sit back for seven minutes and enjoy it. Really pay attention to it, all of it. Think of it as a meditation. Yes, that's right, today we're focusing on some Dead music instead of some dead Englishman's writing. Enjoy.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath

To say to me that thou art out of breath?

 

Juliet

Romeo and Juliet                   Act II, Scene iv,  Line 32

 

Well now, it’s hard to argue with that logic!

It has just occurred to me that there are two levels of pertinence for this pic:

1. That is a bubble gun in my hands (albeit in the shape of a turtle), and if you look close you can see the bubbles. That's why the little munchkin is smiling. So, no breath needed to blow these bubbles; they can be blown even if you're completely out of breath.

2. Note the orange tee shirt I'm wearing and the nice round shape of that oversized belly. Yesterday it was noted by someone close to me that I seemed very out of breath from just walking up one small flight of stairs. Hmmm. Big belly, out of breath. 

Big belly needs to go. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Methought that I had broken from the Tower,

And was embark to cross to Burgundy;

And, in my company, my brother Gloster;

Who from my cabin tempted me to walk

Upon the hatches: thence we lookt toward England,

And cited up a thousand heavy times,

During the wars of York and Lancaster,

That had befaln us.

 

Duke of Clarence

King Richard the Third                 Act I, Scene iv,  Line 13

 

I was wont to give you the rest of this speech, and if I was a better and faster typist I well may have. But alas, no. Rather, let me tell you about it. In his dream his brother accidently pushes him overboard, and Clarence describes, in wonderful detail, seeing amazing things underwater before drowning. Then he tells about his experience of crossing into hell and dealing first with his father-in-law Warwick, who accuses Clarence of getting him killed at the battle at Tewksbury, and then furies and fiends, who come and overwhelm Clarence before he finally wakens.

It’s quite a vividly, terrifying dream. I took the opportunity to listen to this exchange on my Arkangel Shakespeare this morning. It’s about a half page long, if you’re interested in reading it. Here it is.

Shakespeare's Richard III Act 1 Scene 4 The Murder of Clarence (shakespeare-online.com)

You have to read from the beginning of the scene up to line 60 or so to get the whole dream. Sixty lines. You can do it.

So, a few personal thoughts. One is that I, coincidentally had a very vivid dream last night that stayed with me. It was nonsensical, mostly with unknown people and places, but it stuck with me after waking. Because it was so nonsensical I won’t try to describe it. I only bring it up because it seems so coincidental that today’s line would be about a vivid dream.

The other thing that struck me in today’s line was Clarence’s lines about looking back toward England and thinking about the thousand heavy times,/ During the wars of York and Lancaster,/ That had befaln us. The thousand heavy times. Exactly. And what good came of it. I’m waiting. What good became of those thousand heavy times of war. Exactly: Nothing.

So what’s changed since Will wrote these lines. We’re still experiencing vivid dreams, and we’re still experiencing the heavy times of war. Oh sure, when I talk about the latter I’m talking about the world at large, not Cheshire Connecticut. But it’s all the same.

I guess this is one of the reasons I read Shakespeare and one of the reasons I find it so relevant.

But enough about dreams. 

Doesn't someone have a birthday today?

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I say, we will have no more marriages; those that are married already, all but  one, shall live; the rest shall keep as they are.

 

Hamlet

Hamlet                            Act III, Scene i,  Line 150

 

Yes, Hamlet. This is the famous scene (heck, most of the scenes in this play are famous) that begins with the To be, or not to be soliloquy and then goes into Hamlet talking to Ophelia whilst Claudius and Polonius eavesdrop.

Now the thing is, most of this conversation between Hamlet and Ophelia is steeped in nuance, double-entendres, and you-name-it's. In other words, Good luck trying to understand it!

Okay, I’ve come to a conclusion, I’m not smart enough to appreciate much of Shakespeare. Yes, I said it; but hear me out.

I started reading Harold Goddard’s The Meaning of Shakespeare recently. I’ve got three of these kind of books: Goddard, Harold Bloom, and Marjorie Garber. Each of them begins by talking about Will and his writing and then goes into discussing the plays one by one. Each of the three authors discusses the plays in, more or less, chronological order, with the goal of showing not only how the plays are related, but how Will progresses in his writing career. Each of the authors considers Will a genius.

I have yet, and probably never will, read any of these books in entirety, end to end. Generally, I’ll read the chapter on one particular play or another, or maybe the chapter on one play in each of the three books; and even that can be a struggle.

The problem is that as I read, it feels like each of these authors knows every line of every play by heart. As such, they are able to understand and interpret each little nuance to a degree impossible to a mere mortal like me. It almost feels, sometimes, like I’m trying to understand a paper written by a chemist. Even if I had a basic understanding of chemistry and the periodic table (which I don’t), I’m not going to be able to understand a paper written by a chemist who is intimately familiar with all, or most, of the laws of chemistry and how they relate to each other. Capeesh?

So, what to do? Yes, what to do?

Well, I have thought that my blog is a good alternative to the Harolds and Marjorie for this exact reason. It’s written by a mere mortal, me, who does not have this superhuman understanding of Will’s works. I probably have a bit more knowledge of his works than the average human, but probably no more than the average bardophile. And because of that, my blog is more understandable (and relatable?). Certainly it would be much too simple to interest the aforementioned trio (two of which are dead anyway, and I doubt the third one cares much about my blog), but perhaps not too simple for the average high school English teacher or garden variety bardophile; maybe even a total Shakespeare neophyte or two, like Ron or Mike. 

And so, that’s how it be, or not be.

Pete reading Harold Goddard: Ummmm....

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 

The spirits that know

All mortal consequences have pronounced me thus,

‘Fear not, Macbeth; no man that’s born of woman

Shall e’er have power upon thee.’—Then fly, false thanes,

And mingle with the English epicures:

The mind I sway by and the heart I bear

Shall never sag with doubt nor shake with fear.   

 

Macbeth

Macbeth                         Act V, Scene iii,  Line 8

 

One with sensitive and discriminating tastes, especially in food or wine.

One devoted to sensual pleasure.

Those are the two definitions of epicure from MW online. The first is the modern definition and the latter is archaic. You can sort of see how one begot the other, but it’s more the archaic version that Macbeth is using here.  

We’re near the end of the play and things are starting to turn bad for Macbeth, but he remains defiant. After all, the witches who know all have told him that no man can kill him. Right?