Thou shalt have cause to fear before I leave thee.

-Walter Whitmore

King Henry the Sixth Part II      Act IV, Scene i, Line 118

So says Walter Whitmore to the Duke of Suffolk. And he’s right, because before the end of the scene he leaves and re-enters with Suffolk’s lifeless body. Simple as that.

It’s a little bit funny that this guy has a first and last name. He’s just one step above an anonymous henchman, and yet he’s got a full name. Walter Whitmore. Hmmm.

 

Here's a pic of a different Walter, a fellow I worked with. His name was Walter Frankenburger. Walt was a good guy, and he certainly never threatened me like Walter Whitmore apparently would have.

 

 

I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with a dozen of them two hours together. I have scaped by miracle. I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hackt like a handsaw, --ecce signum!

-Sir John Falstaff

King Henry the Fourth Part I      Act II, Scene iv, Line 170

This is the beginning of Falstaff’s version of what happened during the robbery. Of course, it’s all rubbish, and Hal knows it’s rubbish, but Falstaff does not yet know that Hal knows. Ecce signum means (according to my notes) hold the sign. I’m not sure that Falstaff isn’t just using it as an exclamation.

Ecce signum!

Okay, they're not holding the sign, they're standing on either side of it. Just the same, remember, L'otters are not afraid!

 

Faith, that was not so well, yet would I knew

That stroke would prove the worst!

-Iago

Othello                    Act IV, Scene i, Line 273

Iago is working his evil magic on Lodovico, an uncle of Desdemona. They’ve witnessed Othello slap his wife and then storm off. Lodivico is now questioning the suitability of Othello to be the military leader. What, strike his wife!, he says, and Iago replies with today’s Totally Random line.

I was reading other parts of this scene to get some better context and I came across another line worth looking at. Lodovico remarks to Othello that Desdemona is weeping. He replies,

If that the earth could teem with woman’s tears,

Each drop she falls would prove a crocodile.

I didn’t know that Will was responsible for the term crocodile tears. Did you?

Well, I'm glad I saw that line, because it makes sense. There's no way this eye is going to be crying any tears. 

 

A pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced;

-Biondello

The Taming of the Shrew      Act III, Scene ii, Line 45

Petruchio is on his way to Baptista’s house for his wedding day. Biondello has seen Petruchio on the way, and is giving a long and detailed description of Petruchio and his horse to Baptista. It seems that Petruchio and his horse are quite oddly appareled. Today’s Totally Random line is a small piece of the description. It’s twenty-two lines long and a bit long-story-short-Tonyish. It’s also chock full of antiquated terms and so a bit hard to understand. Apparently old boots that are no longer wearable are turned into receptacles for holding candles, so that the boots that Petruchio are wearing are mismatched and completely worn out. Everything that is described about him and his horse is a picture of… I can’t think of the word…decrepit? Slip-shod? Worn out? Stupid looking? I guess you’d have to read it (and you’d need the accompanying notes) to form your own opinion. 

So, for today’s pic, here’s the passage with the notes. You'll probably have to zoom in a bit on the pics, unless you've got superhuman vision.

This is the first part of it, starting with Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat... and it's got the notes for this part in this same pic.

Here's the rest of the description, ending with pieced with pack thread.

And here's the notes to the second part. 

All set? Good!

 

                                          As I hope

For quiet days, fair issue and long life,

With such love as ‘tis now, the murkiest den,

The most opportune place, the strong’st suggestion

Our worser Genius can, shall never melt

Mine honor into lust, to take away

The edge of that day’s celebration

When I shall think: or Phoebus’ steeds are founder’d

Or Night kept chain’d below.

-Ferdinand

The Tempest                   Act III, Scene iv, Line 27

 

Okay, a bit long, and today’s line is not the clearest that we’ve come up with in the past six years, but let’s spend a few minutes with it. First, here's a little context.

Prospero has just told Ferdinand that he’s going to bless the union of Ferdinand and Miranda. He’s also told him there better not be any hanky panky before the wedding day. Today’s Totally Random lines are Ferd’s response to that.

Now, at first blush these lines appear to be a bit tough, but let’s take a closer look. And one other thing: where it says or Phoebus, substitute either Phoebus. I think that might make that last part a little more understandable.

Essentially Ferd is saying three things: 1. He’s hoping for a long, and prosperous life with Miranda, 2. Nothing will turn his honor to lust and so ruin the wedding day, 3. The day of the wedding will seem to last forever.

The first part’s easy; it’s the first line and a half. The second part’s also pretty easy, it goes from there up to that day’s celebration. The third part is harder. But if you understand that when he talks about Phoebus’s steed foundering and night chained below, he’s talking about that day lasting forever, and it begins to make sense.

Got it?

Now, this might be another case of you saying, ‘Well, Pete, what good is this stuff if it needs to be translated?’ If that’s what you think then I’m not sure what to say. Yeah, this is a bit of a tough line, but once you understand it, doesn’t it seem to be worth the effort? 

All I can say is that if you don't think it's worth the effort, then you’re missing out. I guess you’ll just have to trust me on that one. Try to think of me as your better Genius as opposed to your worse one.

Here's my pic for worser Genius. I think when Ferd talks about this he's talking about his bad angel as opposed to his good angel. Here you can see my bad angel in my left ear, and my good angel in my right. I used this pic once before, but I think it's perfect for today. 

 

Madam, an hour before the worshipt sun

Peer’d forth the golden window of the east,

A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;

 

-Benvolio

 

Romeo And Juliet                   Act I Scene i, Line 117

 

What a lovely couple of lines. Benvolio is talking about an hour before dawn. Does he say ‘an hour before dawn?’ Of course not. He says ‘an hour before the worshipt sun peer’d forth the golden window of the east.’ 

Ah Will, you never cease to amaze, and I hope you never do.  

I'm not sure whether this sun is peering forth the golden window of the east, west, north, or south. My associate and I were in a very northern clime in August and the sun was shining almost twenty-four hours a day, so I'm just not sure what time of day this is, or what direction the camera is facing. But it's a nice pic, eh?

 

O father, what a hell of witchcraft lies

In the small orb of one particular tear!

  

A Lover’s Complaint                      Line 288

 

No play today, but a pretty good pair of lines, nonetheless. A Lover’s Complaint is a long poem Will wrote about a maid telling her tale to an old man about how she was seduced by ‘one by nature’s outwards so commended/That maidens’ eyes stuck over all his face:’ That’s right, a pretty boy. I’m not sure if she ever caught his name. Anyway, it was apparently the lad’s tears that convinced her of his sincerity, and won her over in the end. Now she’s lamenting that.

That should clarify what today’s Totally Random line is about. Now, don’t you agree that it’s a good line? I think it’s a really good line.

 O father, what a hell of witchcraft lies

In the small orb of one particular tear!

One tear!

No pic needed, eh?

 

--bear your body more seeming, Audrey:--

 -Touchstone

 As You Like It                 Act V Scene iv, Line 70

 

In today’s line we have a situation where Touchstone is talking to Duke Senior and Jaques, and he interrupts himself very briefly to tell Audrey to straighten up, then immediately goes back to his main conversation. Let me show you what the line, in total, looks like (and I’m not quite sure what the main conversation is all about: something about a seventh cause).

 Jaques:           But for the seventh cause: how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

Touchstone:   Upon a lie seven times removed:-- bear your body more seeming, Audrey:--as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well…

 And Touchstone goes on and on about the beard and the courtier and cutting the beard and so on, and so on. But the point is that today’s line is a sort of random six words in the middle of a fifteen line rant about something that has nothing to do with Audrey or how Audrey is composing herself. It’s a funny little convention that we probably all have experienced. Perhaps the best example would be when you’re talking to your friend about dinner last night whilst at the same time taking care of a small child.

Well we had just been seated when the waiter showed up to take our order:-- Johnny, get your finger out of your nose!-- and I said to him, well we just got here and I haven’t even seen the menu yet…..

Get the picture?

So, you can put the front windshield down on this vehicle:--yeah, that's a lion, he won't bother you:-- and just as easily put it back up. It's handy sometime to drive with it down as I think you'll see.

Get the picture?

 

That's a brave fellow; but he’s vengeance proud, and loves not the common people.

 

-First Officer

 

Coriolanus                      Act II Scene ii, Line 5

 

This is the beginning of a short conversation between two men talking about Coriolanus. It’s really good, and once again highlights what a great play this is for generating discussions about twenty-first century politics. The whole conversation is only thirty-five lines long, and it cuts right to the heart of what this play is all about, and to some extent what politics is all about. I had a little bit of a hard time completely understanding what they were saying, so I decided to go through the exercise of summarizing each line in my own words.

 

First, here’s a link to the text. You should read it; again, only thirty-five lines.

 

And then here’s my summary of it.

First Officer:         He’s a brave fellow, but he’s proud with a vengeance and has no love for the common man.

Second Officer:     A lot of great men have flattered the people without loving them, and there have been many great men that the people have loved without knowing why they loved them. Therefore, if they love a leader for no known reason, they can hate for no known reason. Therefore, if Coriolanus doesn’t care whether they love or hate him, it shows that he’s aware of their fickle tastes, and since he’s a noble guy he lets them see that he knows they’re fickle.

First Officer:         If he didn’t care whether they love or hate him, he should appear to be indifferent, but he seems more determined to get their hate and leaves nothing undone to let them know how he is superior to them. Now, to appear to dislike the people is as bad as that which he will not do, which is to appear to like them, i.e., flatter them for their love.

Second Officer:     Listen, he has earned his country’s respect, and worked hard to rise to his position, unlike the other politicians who have gotten where they are with no work but simply by telling the people what they want to hear. He has shown them his worth through actions, such that for them to be silent and not give him credit for this is an insult. In other words, anyone else hearing about this would be quick to rebuke the people who were silent.

First Officer:        No more then; he is a worthy fellow.

And that’s it. It kind of makes me want to only vote for people who have worked for the benefit of the country outside of politics, like Coriolanus did serving in the military.

It's just a thought.

No pic today, just the thought.

 

 

All things we ordained festival

Turn from their office to black funeral:

Our instruments to melancholy bells;

Our wedding cheer to a sad burial feast;

Our solemn hymns to sullen dirges change;

Our bridal flowers serve for a burial corse;

And all things change them to the contrary.

 

-Capulet

 

Romeo and Juliet            Act IV Scene v, Line 87

 

As I was saying, it’s good to spend some time reflecting on well wrought verse: sometimes concentrating on the form, sometimes the content, and sometimes just on where the lines take you in your personal reflections. I find that the latter is almost always where I end up.

        For the gift of the art, whether live, drawn, or written,

Is not how it looks in the book where it’s sittin’,

It’s whether or not it gets up off the page,

Or the screen, or the easel, or down from the stage,

And reaches right up, and jumps into your life,

And affects how you look at your friend, dad, or wife.

That’s a couple of lines that are not Will’s. Believe it or not, I do read stuff besides Shakespeare (but don’t ask my wife; she doesn’t believe that to be true).

See? Not a Shakespeare on the shelf! I am just so diversified!

 

Where is my gracious Lord of Canterbury?

-Henry

King Henry the Fifth              Act I Scene ii, Line 1

 

This is the opening line of the scene, and also the early part of the play. Henry is looking for Canterbury to ask him if he, Henry, has a just claim to the throne of France. Canterbury will give him a very long-winded, sixty-three line answer. He could have just said ‘yes’. Another classic example of Long Story Short-Tony (see yesterday’s post).

Since we're talking about Long Story Short-Tony for two days in a row, I'll give you a pic of my socks for two days in a row. No need to thank me.

 

My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou remember’st

Since once I sat upon a promontory,

And heard a mermaid, on a dolphin’s back,

Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath,

That the rude sea grew civil at her song,

And certain stars shot madly from their spheres,

To hear the sea maid’s music.

 

-Oberon

 

A Midsummer Night’s Dream         Act II Scene i, Line 149

 

This is part of a larger thought that Oberon is having about how he wants Puck to fetch him a certain flower so that he can cast a love spell on Titania. In fact, these seven lines are a bit ‘long story, short-Tony’ in that they are really superfluous to what Oberon is talking about. However, unlike Tony’s rambling of unneeded detail, I rarely find Will’s extra detail to be rambling or unneeded. I think the language, and the picture that he paints with these seven lines is well worth the time spent reading/hearing them. 

How about you?

Do you like these socks? Well, I think I've brought up long story, short-Tony before, but here goes again. Tony would tell stories about something that he experienced, and he'd sprinkle in the most mind-numbing level of detail that had nothing to do with the story; like these socks. His story could be about a speeding ticket he'd received, and he would add in a very detailed description of the socks he was wearing at the time. It would make his story really long, and all the while he'd be repeating the phrase 'long story short'. Of course, I'd be saying to myself 'There's nothing short about this story, Tony!'

Come to think of it, long story short, maybe I spend too much time talking about Tony?

 

 

Speak, Lavinia, what accursed hand

Hath made thee handless in thy father’s sight?

 

-Titus

Titus Andronicus                     Act III Scene i, Line 67

 

But of course, Lavinia cannot speak, because the same hand that made her handless also cut out her tongue. This is the first that Titus has seen of his daughter since this happened and I don’t think he yet realizes that she can’t speak. Marcus, Titus’s brother, has found Lavinia and brought her to Titus. Lucius, Titus’s son, sees Lavinia and says, ‘Ay me, this object kills me!’ Titus responds with a pretty moving sixteen lines. I think they’re worth reading, so here goes.

       

        Faint-hearted boy, arise, and look upon her.—

        Speak, Lavinia, what accursed hand

        Hath made thee handless in thy father’s sight?

        What fool hath added water to the sea,

        Or brought a faggot to bright-burning Troy?

        My grief was at the height before though camest;

        And now, like Nilus, it disdaineth bounds.—

        Give me a sword, I’ll chop off my hands too;

        For they have fought for Rome, and all in vain;

        And they have nursed this woe, in feeding life;

        In bootless prayer have they been held up,

        And they have served me to effectless use:

        Now all the service I require of them

        Is, that the one will help to cut the other.—

        'Tis well, Lavinia, that thou hast no hands;

        For hands, to do Rome service, is but vain.

 

I’m not suggesting that today’s lines need to be taken to heart, or that there’s some indomitable lesson to be learned from them. But it seems to me that it’s almost always useful to stop and spend a few minutes contemplating on some well written words. The very act of stopping, leaving the world to take care of itself for a few minutes, and concentrating on the words, taking the time to understand the words, and then thinking about that meaning, can be a very worthwhile and beneficial endeavor. 

And of course, no words are more well written than Will’s.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words. I would say that in some cases a picture can be worth a thousand words, and that in some cases a few words can be worth a thousand pictures. 

The picture above was an easy and effective way of remembering which wire went where; much easier than writing out, 'the green wire goes to C, and the white wire goes to W/E, etc.' 

However, I don't think there's one single picture that can convey all of what Will is giving us with the 132 words written above.

What do you think? 

 

 

                    The chimney

Is south the chamber; and the chimneypiece

Chaste Dian bathing: never saw I figures

So lively to report themselves: the cutter

Was as another nature, dumb; outwent her,

Motion and breath left out.

 

-Iachimo

Cymbeline                      Act II Scene iv, Line 82

Iachimo is speaking to Posthumus, and to prove that he has slept with the latter’s wife, he is describing her bedroom. 

The chimneypiece he mentions is a statuette on the mantel. It is a figure of Dian bathing, and it was so lifelike is seemed almost that it could talk, report themselves. The sculptor was one of a kind, and the statue outdid even the beauty of Dian, except that it could neither move nor speak. 

Okay, here’s the thing. I could read that paragraph and understand, at least for the most part, what it was saying. Yeah, I looked at some footnotes to help me out a bit. And I knew the context of what was going on with the conversation. Maybe you could get the gist of this too?

I decided to find out if your average, intelligent person who doesn't read much Shakespeare would get much out of this passage. So I asked my two very intelligent associates (not the guy in back; that's King and he wasn't in town for this test) to read it. Well, unfortunately they didn't get too much out of it. I guess that sort of proves that you need to acquire a taste and a bit of a knowledge base in his style of writing to be able to truly enjoy Will's works. 

I think we'll get back to this topic again.

 

        So I leave you

To the protection of the prosperous gods,

As thieves to keepers.

 

-Timon

Timon of Athens                     Act V Scene i, Line 182

Well, Timon doesn’t have any daughters that we know of, but in his own way, he is cursing the world much like Lear was. Unlike Lear, who briefly finds a bit of redemption with Cordelia before dying in the end, Timon gets no redemption. This conversation with the senators, who have come looking for his help, will be his last.

I think it’s interesting that the bitter Timon is telling the senators to go pound sand. Earlier in the play, when Flavius told Timon that the senators had refused to loan Timon any money, Timon had this to say about them.

                                        These old fellows

        Have their ingratitude in them hereditary:

        Their blood is caked, ‘tis cold, it seldom flows;

        ‘Tis lack of kindly warmth they are not kind;

        And nature, as it grows again toward earth,

        Is fashioned for the journey, dull and heavy.

To be fair, I’m not completely sure what all that means. But I know that though it may not be particularly complimentary, it is at least a little bit understanding and accepting of what the senators are all about. At that point Timon was still inclined to feel good about humanity. Here, very near the end of the play, he’s letting them know loud and clear that he wants nothing to do with them or humanity in general.

Tragedy.

A giant cinnamon bun picture at IKEA. 

Zoom in on the fine print under the yellow $1 square.

Comedy.