Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

A valiant Greek, Aeneas,- take his hand,-

Witness the process of your speech, wherein

You told how Diomed, a whole week by days,

Did haunt you in the field.

 

Paris

Troilus and Cressida          Act IV, Scene i, Line 8                                    

 

This line and scene are confusing. It takes place on a street in Troy. You’ve got the Trojans Paris and Deiphobus, they’re brothers. You’ve got Aeneas and Antenor, they’re Trojan generals. And you’ve got Diomedes, a Greek general. What the heck is a Greek general doing on a street in Troy?

I wanted to listen to this scene to see if that gave me some clarity, but this play is missing from my hard drive, so I’ll have to fix that. I guess I could look a the Play Shakespeare App summary. Okay, Paris has brought Diomedes into Troy for the prisoner exchange. That, at least, explains what Diomedes is doing in Troy.

So, without getting into the details of who’s being exchanged for whom, Paris (the son of King Priam of Troy) is talking to Aeneas (one of the Trojan generals), about Diomedes (a Greek general). He’s bringing up the fact that Aeneas had said that Diomedes had haunted him on the battlefield for a week. And that’s pretty much all of Today’s Line.

I guess if we were watching the play we would know at this point (the beginning of Act Four) who’s who, and this dialogue would make easy sense to us. I guess. Although, I remember watching a tv show the other night and some lady showed up in a scene as though she were one of the regulars, and I had no idea who she was. Luckily Patrice did, so that was pretty helpful. That saucy little wench can be pretty indispensable at times, that’s for sure. 

 

 This guy, on the other hand…

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Nay, if an oily palm be not a fruitful prognostication, I  cannot scratch mine ear.—Prithee, tell her but a worky-day fortune.?

 

Charmian

Anthony and Cleopatra         Act I, Scene ii, Line 50

 

Worky-day. That’s the original form of workaday. Tell her an ordinary, mundane fortune, that’s what Charmian is saying.

Speaking of Charmian…

...our beautiful daughter-in-law is named Charmaine (slightly different spelling). 

Mojo loves going to visit Charmaine because she has a really nice house, and Mojo gets his own luxurious accommodations there. They are anything but worky-day. In fact, they are accommodations fit for a king; which of course, is what Mojo feels he deserves.

It's always quite an adjustment for Mojo when we come home from Charmaine's house. Luckily he has his friend to console him as he eases back into his worky-day accommodations. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O honey nurse, what news?

Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.

 

Juliet

Romeo and Juliet           Act II, Scene iv, Line 18

 

Juliet is talking to Nurse whom she sent to bring a message to Romeo. She is very anxious to hear Romeo’s reply. 

Nurse is more like Juliet’s nanny, than a nurse. She’s the woman who’s been tending to Juliet her whole life. I’m not sure if that’s the reason she’s calling her ‘honey nurse’, or if it’s that she’s just over-excited to hear the news from Romeo, or perhaps a little of both. In any event, it’s a bit of a curious moniker, don’t you agree?

Honey nurse.   

I wish I had a honey nurse. I bet she'd feed me honey and hold me comfortably in her arms, not make me squeeze behind her neck like this bozo does.

I heard that.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

For what doth cherish weeds but gentle air?

 

Lord Clifford

King Henry the Sixth Part III      Act II, Scene vi, Line 21

 

Clifford is lying on the battlefield, wounded and whining about what a poor king Henry has been. Here, I’m going to give you a bit of it.

And, Henry, hadst thou sway’d as kings should do,

Or as the father and his father did,

Giving no ground unto the house of York,

I and ten thousand in this luckless realm

Had left no mourning widows for our death;

And thou this day hadst kept thy chair (throne) in peace.

For what doth cherish weeds but gentle air?

And what makes robbers bold but too much lenity?

So the gentle air in Today’s line is Henry’s gentle treatment of his enemies; and these same enemies, robbers (the Yorks and all those following the Yorks) are nothing but weeds. You gotta be a little bit tough with the weeds or they’re just gonna grow and take over. Right?

There, it’s a gardening metaphor. You can’t go wrong with a gardening metaphor.

 

And speaking of gardens: 

here is our ever vigilant Mojo, guarding against weeds in our garden. 

Go Mojo!

Weeds schmatz!

 I'm just here for the sunbeams. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ay, madam: he desires to make atonement

Between the Duke of Gloster and your brothers,

And betwixt them and my lord Chamberlain;

And sent to warn them to his royal presence.

  

Duke of Buckingham

King Richard the Third         Act I, Scene iii, Line 37

 

The ‘he’ in Today’s Lines is King Edward IV, Richard the Third’s brother. Richard starts off in this play as the Duke of Gloster and doesn’t become king until Act Four.

The ‘madam’ in Today’s Line is Queen Elizabeth, King Edward IV’s wife.

This play portrays Richard as a fairly petty and evil little man. History tells us that he wasn’t all that bad, and that whilst his brother Edward was king he was quite faithful to him.

Today’s Lines tell us that Richard (Duke of Gloster) was already making trouble and that King Edward was working on smoothing this trouble out.

That’s what Today’s Lines are about.  

Sometimes when we get into theses scenes that are all about the different royals, Mojo likes to strike his Mojo the First pose to show me that he too could have been a royal,

Yes, your royal highness, that is a truly regal profile. 

Yah, you bethch'a!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

                                                   But now return,

And with their faint reply, this answer join:

Who bates mine honour shall not know my coin.

 

Sempronius

Timon of Athens           Act III, Scene iii, Line 26

This is the part in the play where Timon realizes that he’s running out of money and starts asking his friends for financial help. Sempronius is one of those friends, and he’s talking to Timon’s servant who’s been sent with the request for funds. As you can see, the answer is no. He’s using the excuse that Timon asked his other friends first, and they all said no. Sempronius is saying that he feels slighted that Timon didn’t ask him first, and therefore he is answering no, just like all the rest. It’s nonsense.

Timon’s servant ends this short scene, alone, with a soliloquy about the nature of man that is reflected in this situation. I’m tempted to put it here, but it’s sixteen lines long, and you probably wouldn’t read it. Oh, what the heck.

Excellent! Your lordship’s a goodly villain. The devil knew not what he did when he made man politic (crafty and self-serving),- he crost himself by’t: and I cannot think but, in the end, the villainies of man will set him clear. How fairly this lord strives to appear foul! Takes virtuous copies to be wicked; like those that, under hot ardent zeal, would set whole realms on fire:

Of such nature is his politic love.

This was my lord’s last hope; now all are fled,

Save the gods only: now his friends are dead,

Doors, that were ne’er acquainted with their wards

Many a bounteous year, must be emploly’d

Now to guard sure their master,

And this is all a liberal course allows;

Who cannot keep his wealth must keep his house.

                                                                    [Exit]

And that’s the end of the scene. Kind of interesting that this little speech begins in prose and ends in verse. What do you think of that?

I think you didn't finish everything on your dinner plate, Mr. Blagys. 

There's no sense wasting that; it would make a tasty little snack for me, that's what I think.  

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

This is the monstruosity in love, lady,- that the will is infinite and the execution confined; that the desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.

 

Troilus

Troilus and Cressida             Act III, Scene ii, Line 81

 

Well, we could get into context if we wanted to, but the nature of the line allows us to just take it at face value, and I think that is what we’ll do.

It’s very well put; but of course it’s Shakespeare, isn’t it. Will is infinite. I wonder if Will thought of this use of the word will as a pun? I mean, given the nearly infinite magnificence of the works that he produced (assuming he realized how great his works were), I can see where he was making a pun between will (unlimited desire) and Will (himself). Just a thought.

The second iteration is just as good, if not better: desire is boundless and act a slave to limit. Act a slave to limit. That’s really some awesome word work there, Will, I love it.

And don’t tell me that you couldn’t find a place to use that line. No, not every day; but there are times when it would be perfect. I’m pretty sure that Patrice would say that about half the projects that Pete proposes.

Pete

Look, if we get rid of that wooden deck outside our bedroom, we could build one out of stone. That would last forever, and we could also build a stone fountain into the face of it!

Patrice

You know, buddy, desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.

Another perfect example: See that little guy on the right? He'd give anything to be let loose on that squirrel he's eyeing right now. And if we let him loose? What then?

His will is infinite but the execution confined;

the desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.

Try telling him that.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Now, my lord, what shall we do, if we perceive

Lord Hastings will not yield to our complot?

 

Duke of Buckingham

King Richard the Third                Act III, Scene i, Line 191

The Duke of Buckingham is asking the Duke of Gloster (Richard). And the answer?

Chop off his head, man.

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

Complot, by the way is a plot or conspiracy, and it’s in the online Merriam Webster. Granted, it’s listed as archaic, but it’s there, nonetheless.

Any more questions?

Yes, have you seen my little bone treat? I think I left it up there when I was sitting with you. It might have dropped down the side there.

I meant any more questions about… oh, never mind. Let me take a look.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Why, there they are both, baked in that pie;

Whereof thier mother daintily hath fed,

Eating the flesh that she herself hath bred.

‘Tis true, ‘tis true; witness my knife’s sharp point.

 

Titus

Titus Andronicus                  Act V, Scene iii, Line 62

 

 

Yes, that’s right, Titus killed Tamora’s two adult sons and baked them in a pie. But don’t worry – Tamora doesn’t have to grieve over it very long, because the next line is Titus stabbing her to death. Then the line after that is Saturninus killing Titus, followed by Lucius killing Saturninus. Oh, and let’s not forget that before this all got started Titus kicked things off by killing his own daughter.

Thankfully though, that’s the end of the killing. The last page and a half of this play is speechifying and commiseration, as the survivors get set to pick up the pieces and carry on.

And there you have it: Titus Andronicus.

Yikes! 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I’ll follow, sir. But first, an’t please the gods,

I’ll hide my master from the flies as deep

As these poor pickaxes can dig: and when

With wild wood-leaves and weeds I ha’ strew’d his grave,

And on it said a century of prayers,

Such as I can, twice o’er, I’ll weep and sigh;

And leaving so his service, follow you,

So please you entertain me.

 

Imogen

Cymbeline                             Act IV, Scene ii, Line 391

 

The ‘master’ that Imogen wants to bury and say prayers over is Cloten, but Imogen doesn’t know that. She thinks it’s her love, Posthumous, but she’s telling Caius Lucius that it’s someone named Richard du Champ.

Got that? It’s Cloten, she thinks it’s Posthumous, and she says it’s Richard du Champ.

 

Nothing confusing about that, eh Mojo?

I’m pretty sure he agrees with me.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Neither.

                 What, neither?

        Neither.

  

Autolycus, 

                Dorcas, 

                            Autolycus

The Winter’s Tale                         Act IV, Scene iii, Line 306

 

Apparently the answer is ‘neither’, and Dorcas needed confirmation of that. Do we care what the question was? It’s something about going to the grange or the mill, and the answer is neither: neither the grange nor the mill.

Do we need to delve further to get a better understanding, or shall we discuss the meter used in a line made up of two different people talking?

How about Neither?

I don't remember asking you.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Thou whoreson zed! Thou unnecessary letter!-  My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with him.—‘Spare my gray beard,’ you wagtail?

 

Kent

King Lear                             Act II, Scene ii, Line 68

 

This is a continuation of the spat between Oswald and Kent. It began because of Oswald’s disrespect for Lear, which Kent would not suffer in the least. It led, a little earlier in this scene to the longest bit of name-calling I’ve ever seen. Here’s Kent’s answer to Oswald when the latter asked him, What dost thou know me for?

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

Don’t hold back, Kent. Tell us how you really feel.

I don't understand half those words, Mr. Blagys, but it doesn't sound like Kent is holding back much.

 

I'm always forgetting that this little guy doesn't get sarcasm.

No, Mojo, he's not holding back much, and I don't understand half those words either. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sir, make me not your story.

 

Isabella

Measure for Measure           Act I, Scene iv, Line 30

 

I think that Sir, make me not your story, might just be an expression, a figure of speech. Lucio has just told Isabella that her brother is in jail for getting a girl pregnant. Get out of town, she might say; or in this case, make me not your story. That’s the only sense that I can make out of it.

I have a glossary of words that Will used that have a different meaning than they have today, but unfortunately I don’t have a glossary of expressions. I do have a number of different compilations of his works, some with more footnotes than others. I could go through those and see if any have a footnote on this line. But I don’t think I’ll be doing that right now. So unless someone has an objection, make me not your story is going to be the same as get out of town.

Okay?

I'm pretty sure that Mojo has no objections. 

In fact, if he were to object I would respond with Make me not your story!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Let it not be believed for womanhood!

Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage

To stubborn critics,-- apt, without a theme,

For depravation,-- to square the general sex

By Cressid’s rule: rather think this is not Cressid.

 

Troilus

Troilus and Cressida             Act V, Scene ii, Line 132

 

Let’s see if I can give you some context without going all Long-story-short-Tony.

Titular Troilus has just been spying on titular Cressida whilst she talked with Diomedes. It was made clear to Troilus that Cressida has given him up and is now taken Diomedes as her new guy. Now  Cressida and Diomedes have left, and Troilus is bemoaning the situation to Ulysses. 

Given that, can you make sense of Today’s Lines? Still need help? Read it a few times, knowing that Troilus does not want to believe what he’s just seen. And pay careful attention to the punctuation. I’m sure you can make sense of it. Oh, all right; here’s Pete’s Version.

Oh, don’t believe woman can be like this! Remember: we had mothers, so don’t believe those who want you to believe (without any good cause) that all women are bound to be unfaithful like Cressida has been. I would rather simply believe this was not Cressida.

How’s that? Makes sense?

I think it’s a little funny that he brings mothers into the discussion to justify that all women can’t be unfaithful. After all, mothers are perfect. Right?

Yes they are. 

Is there a question here?

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I am known to be a humorous patrician, and one that loves a cup of hot wine with not a drop of allaying Tiber in’t; said to be something imperfect in favouring the first complaint; hasty and tinder-like upon too trivial motion; one that converses more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning: what I think I utter and spend my malice in my breath. Meeting two such wealsmen (statesmen), as you are, - I cannot call you Lycurguses (a legendary Greek lawmaker), - if the drink you give me touch my palate adversely, I make a crooked face for it. I cannot say you worships have deliver’d the matter well, when I find the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables: and though I must be content to bear with those that say you are reverend grave men, yet they lie deadly that tell you you have good faces.  

 

Menenius Agrippa

Coriolanus                 Act II, Scene i, Line 50

 

Where to start? Well, first off, I came to the end of a sentence with I make a crooked face for it, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to continue to include the part about the ass and the syllables. That’s right, Shakespeare is having Menenius tell these guys that they’re talking out of their asses. I felt compelled to include that.

This is a scene where Menenius Agrippa, the wise old advisor and friend to Coriolanus, comes upon two of the representatives of the people. These two are real weasels who have it out for Coriolanus, and Menenius knows it. In Today’s Lines he is talking first about himself and then about the two of them and telling them what weasels they are. Unfortunately for me, the word wealsmen has nothing to do with weasles, it’s just an old term for statesmen. Oh well.

I’m finding it very difficult today to stay at 30,000 feet. Every time I see these two wealsmen in Coriolanus, I cannot help but think of all of today’s current wealsmen (better termed weaselmen and weaselwomen), and their Weasel-in-Chief. Sorry, can’t help myself. I considered going into an epic rant, but I’ll spare you, and in the meantime limit my rants to the buttock of the night.

It just occurred to me that Will made reference to the rear end of human anatomy twice today. Menenius talks about conversing more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning, and later speaks about the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables to the two wealsmen.

Will is the best; so good that he helps me to pull back up to 30,000 feet.  Most of the time.

Something else that helps to keep us both at 30,000 feet: bird watching. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ah, thou, the model where old Troy did stand,

Thou map of honour, thou King Richard’s tomb.

And not King Richard; thou most beauteous inn,

Why should hard-favour’d grief be lodged in thee,

When triumph is become an alehouse guest.

 

Queen

King Richard the Second                      Act V, Scene i, Line 14

 

This is King Richard’s queen talking, but this is the end of the play and Richard has been deposed by Bolingbroke at this point. The queen is waiting outside the Tower of London to watch Richard go by on his way to imprisonment there.

I believe that thou, in both sentences above, refers to the Tower, and when she says not King Richard she is referencing the fact that Richard’s no longer the king.

So, whilst the five lines can be understood fairly easily, at least on the surface, they’re pretty loaded nonetheless. Should we unload them?

NO!

 Well, I guess the king has spoken.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ay, springes to catch woodcocks. I do know,

When the blood burns, how prodigal the soul

Lends the tongue vows: these blazes, daughter,

Giving more light than heat - extinct in both,

Even in their promise, as it is a-making, -

You must not take for fire.

Polonius

Hamlet                           Act I, Scene iii, Line 117

 

It’s amazing that I taught this play to a high school class and I can still go back to it and not recall having read so very much of it. I guess, to be fair, that class was over twenty years ago, so…

Anyway, this is a scene with brother, sister, and father. Brother Laertes has already left the scene, on his way to France, but not before telling his sister Ophelia to stay away from Hamlet. He gave her a good talking to about how Hamlet was no good for her. Now father Polonius is talking to daughter Ophelia and telling her pretty much the same thing. Today’s lines are the beginning of Polonius’s lecture to his daughter, in response to her lines

My lord, he hat importuned me with love

In honourable fashion…

…And hath given countenance to his speech, my lord,

With almost all the holy vows of heaven.

Polonius is referring to Hamlet’s holy vows of heaven as springes to catch woodcocks.

In any event, after telling her in his very wordy way, to stay away from Hamlet, Ophelia ends the scene with the words,

I shall obey, my lord.

So that’s the end of that. Well, not really.

But that springes to catch woodcocks reminds me of something. What was it?

Oh yeah, I gotta put out mouse traps!

  

 There goes another one, Mr. Blagys!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Give me thy torch, boy; hence, and stand aloof:-

Yet put it out, for I would not be seen.

 

Paris

Romeo and Juliet            Act V, Scene iii, Line 1

 

These are the first lines of the last scene of the play. A lot is going to happen in the three hundred lines of this scene. Paris will die, Romeo will die, and Juliet will die. So then, as Paris speaks these lines all of these three are still alive, and, if you think about it, as this scene starts, the play could still have a fairly happy ending. Interesting. 

 

 

Wait, does it? Does this play have a happy ending? I thought it was a tragedy?

Well, I woke sleepy head up with that one.

No Mojeo, sadly it does not.

I always call him Mojeo when we’re doing Romeo and Juliet. That was his idea.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Nay, that’s certain.

Cleopatra

Antony and Cleopatra             Act V, Scene ii, Line 221

 

So, are we interested in what’s certain? Are we? Well, I’m a little interested, so I guess I’ll take a look.

It turns out that Cleopatra is talking to Iras about what will happen to them if Caesar takes them prisoner.

Nay, ‘tis most certain, Iras: saucy lictors (Roman officers)

Will catch at us, like strumpets; and scald rimers (contemptible balladeers)

Ballad us our o’tune: the quick comedians

Extemporally (without any preparation) will stage us, and present

Our Alexandrian revels; Antony

Shall be brought drunken forth, and I shall see

Some squeaking Cleopatra boy my greatness

I’the posture of a whore.

It doesn’t sound all that appealing, does it?

By the way, I got those definitions that I added in parentheses on a modern search engine. They’re not from some ancient language!

Shakespeare translation indeed!

 This Shakespeare nut I’ve got here is always getting his knickers in a twist.

He needs to just CALM DOWN.

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

The poor, lame, blind, halt, creep, cry out for thee;

But they ne’er meet with Opportunity.

 

Lucrece

Lucrece                                 Line 902

 

Lucrece is lying in her bed. She has been raped by Tarquin, he has fled, and now she is having all sorts of thoughts: none of them particularly good.

In this particular stanza, and several that go before it, she is blaming Opportunity for what happened to her. That’s right, she’s personifying Opportunity (hence the capital O). She’s spent the previous four stanzas talking about all the troubles that different people get themselves into, and how it wouldn’t have happened if they’d not had the Opportunity. Now, in these last two lines that we have today, she’s noting that the people who could use Opportunity to help them out of troubles never see Opportunity.

Interesting.

Opportunity. Today’s line is all about Opportunity and the lack thereof. But it puts a really bad spin on Opportunity. I think generally we use Opportunity in a more positive sense.

For instance: 

We recently had the Opportunity to take a fantastic trip (see previous post).

And Mojo had the Opportunity to make a new friend. Yes, he has a somewhat apprehensive look on his face, but I can assure you that Mojo and Dave got along famously. 

Opportunity.