Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Neither.

                 What, neither?

        Neither.

  

Autolycus, 

                Dorcas, 

                            Autolycus

The Winter’s Tale                         Act IV, Scene iii, Line 306

 

Apparently the answer is ‘neither’, and Dorcas needed confirmation of that. Do we care what the question was? It’s something about going to the grange or the mill, and the answer is neither: neither the grange nor the mill.

Do we need to delve further to get a better understanding, or shall we discuss the meter used in a line made up of two different people talking?

Neither.

Gott sei Dank!

I didn't know he spoke German.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Thou whoreson zed! Thou unnecessary letter!-  My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with him.—‘Spare my gray beard,’ you wagtail?

 

Kent

King Lear                             Act II, Scene ii, Line 68

 

This is a continuation of the spat between Oswald and Kent. It began because of Oswald’s disrespect for Lear, which Kent would not suffer in the least. It led, a little earlier in this scene to the longest bit of name-calling I’ve ever seen. Here’s Kent’s answer to Oswald when the latter asked him, What dost thou know me for?

A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.

Don’t hold back, Kent. Tell us how you really feel.

I don't understand half those words, Mr. Blagys, but it doesn't sound like Kent is holding back much.

 

I'm always forgetting that this little guy doesn't get sarcasm.

No, Mojo, he's not holding back much, and I don't understand half those words either. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sir, make me not your story.

 

Isabella

Measure for Measure           Act I, Scene iv, Line 30

 

I think that Sir, make me not your story, might just be an expression, a figure of speech. Lucio has just told Isabella that her brother is in jail for getting a girl pregnant. Get out of town, she might say; or in this case, make me not your story. That’s the only sense that I can make out of it.

I have a glossary of words that Will used that have a different meaning than they have today, but unfortunately I don’t have a glossary of expressions. I do have a number of different compilations of his works, some with more footnotes than others. I could go through those and see if any have a footnote on this line. But I don’t think I’ll be doing that right now. So unless someone has an objection, make me not your story is going to be the same as get out of town.

Okay?

I'm pretty sure that Mojo has no objections. 

In fact, if he were to object I would respond with Make me not your story!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Let it not be believed for womanhood!

Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage

To stubborn critics,-- apt, without a theme,

For depravation,-- to square the general sex

By Cressid’s rule: rather think this is not Cressid.

 

Troilus

Troilus and Cressida             Act V, Scene ii, Line 132

 

Let’s see if I can give you some context without going all Long-story-short-Tony.

Titular Troilus has just been spying on titular Cressida whilst she talked with Diomedes. It was made clear to Troilus that Cressida has given him up and is now taken Diomedes as her new guy. Now  Cressida and Diomedes have left, and Troilus is bemoaning the situation to Ulysses. 

Given that, can you make sense of Today’s Lines? Still need help? Read it a few times, knowing that Troilus does not want to believe what he’s just seen. And pay careful attention to the punctuation. I’m sure you can make sense of it. Oh, all right; here’s Pete’s Version.

Oh, don’t believe woman can be like this! Remember: we had mothers, so don’t believe those who want you to believe (without any good cause) that all women are bound to be unfaithful like Cressida has been. I would rather simply believe this was not Cressida.

How’s that? Makes sense?

I think it’s a little funny that he brings mothers into the discussion to justify that all women can’t be unfaithful. After all, mothers are perfect. Right?

Yes they are. 

Is there a question here?

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I am known to be a humorous patrician, and one that loves a cup of hot wine with not a drop of allaying Tiber in’t; said to be something imperfect in favouring the first complaint; hasty and tinder-like upon too trivial motion; one that converses more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning: what I think I utter and spend my malice in my breath. Meeting two such wealsmen (statesmen), as you are, - I cannot call you Lycurguses (a legendary Greek lawmaker), - if the drink you give me touch my palate adversely, I make a crooked face for it. I cannot say you worships have deliver’d the matter well, when I find the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables: and though I must be content to bear with those that say you are reverend grave men, yet they lie deadly that tell you you have good faces.  

 

Menenius Agrippa

Coriolanus                 Act II, Scene i, Line 50

 

Where to start? Well, first off, I came to the end of a sentence with I make a crooked face for it, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to continue to include the part about the ass and the syllables. That’s right, Shakespeare is having Menenius tell these guys that they’re talking out of their asses. I felt compelled to include that.

This is a scene where Menenius Agrippa, the wise old advisor and friend to Coriolanus, comes upon two of the representatives of the people. These two are real weasels who have it out for Coriolanus, and Menenius knows it. In Today’s Lines he is talking first about himself and then about the two of them and telling them what weasels they are. Unfortunately for me, the word wealsmen has nothing to do with weasles, it’s just an old term for statesmen. Oh well.

I’m finding it very difficult today to stay at 30,000 feet. Every time I see these two wealsmen in Coriolanus, I cannot help but think of all of today’s current wealsmen (better termed weaselmen and weaselwomen), and their Weasel-in-Chief. Sorry, can’t help myself. I considered going into an epic rant, but I’ll spare you, and in the meantime limit my rants to the buttock of the night.

It just occurred to me that Will made reference to the rear end of human anatomy twice today. Menenius talks about conversing more with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning, and later speaks about the ass in compound with the major part of your syllables to the two wealsmen.

Will is the best; so good that he helps me to pull back up to 30,000 feet.  Most of the time.

Something else that helps to keep us both at 30,000 feet: bird watching. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ah, thou, the model where old Troy did stand,

Thou map of honour, thou King Richard’s tomb.

And not King Richard; thou most beauteous inn,

Why should hard-favour’d grief be lodged in thee,

When triumph is become an alehouse guest.

 

Queen

King Richard the Second                      Act V, Scene i, Line 14

 

This is King Richard’s queen talking, but this is the end of the play and Richard has been deposed by Bolingbroke at this point. The queen is waiting outside the Tower of London to watch Richard go by on his way to imprisonment there.

I believe that thou, in both sentences above, refers to the Tower, and when she says not King Richard she is referencing the fact that Richard’s no longer the king.

So, whilst the five lines can be understood fairly easily, at least on the surface, they’re pretty loaded nonetheless. Should we unload them?

NO!

 Well, I guess the king has spoken.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ay, springes to catch woodcocks. I do know,

When the blood burns, how prodigal the soul

Lends the tongue vows: these blazes, daughter,

Giving more light than heat - extinct in both,

Even in their promise, as it is a-making, -

You must not take for fire.

Polonius

Hamlet                           Act I, Scene iii, Line 117

 

It’s amazing that I taught this play to a high school class and I can still go back to it and not recall having read so very much of it. I guess, to be fair, that class was over twenty years ago, so…

Anyway, this is a scene with brother, sister, and father. Brother Laertes has already left the scene, on his way to France, but not before telling his sister Ophelia to stay away from Hamlet. He gave her a good talking to about how Hamlet was no good for her. Now father Polonius is talking to daughter Ophelia and telling her pretty much the same thing. Today’s lines are the beginning of Polonius’s lecture to his daughter, in response to her lines

My lord, he hat importuned me with love

In honourable fashion…

…And hath given countenance to his speech, my lord,

With almost all the holy vows of heaven.

Polonius is referring to Hamlet’s holy vows of heaven as springes to catch woodcocks.

In any event, after telling her in his very wordy way, to stay away from Hamlet, Ophelia ends the scene with the words,

I shall obey, my lord.

So that’s the end of that. Well, not really.

But that springes to catch woodcocks reminds me of something. What was it?

Oh yeah, I gotta put out mouse traps!

  

 There goes another one, Mr. Blagys!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Give me thy torch, boy; hence, and stand aloof:-

Yet put it out, for I would not be seen.

 

Paris

Romeo and Juliet            Act V, Scene iii, Line 1

 

These are the first lines of the last scene of the play. A lot is going to happen in the three hundred lines of this scene. Paris will die, Romeo will die, and Juliet will die. So then, as Paris speaks these lines all of these three are still alive, and, if you think about it, as this scene starts, the play could still have a fairly happy ending. Interesting. 

 

 

Wait, does it? Does this play have a happy ending? I thought it was a tragedy?

Well, I woke sleepy head up with that one.

No Mojeo, sadly it does not.

I always call him Mojeo when we’re doing Romeo and Juliet. That was his idea.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Nay, that’s certain.

Cleopatra

Antony and Cleopatra             Act V, Scene ii, Line 221

 

So, are we interested in what’s certain? Are we? Well, I’m a little interested, so I guess I’ll take a look.

It turns out that Cleopatra is talking to Iras about what will happen to them if Caesar takes them prisoner.

Nay, ‘tis most certain, Iras: saucy lictors (Roman officers)

Will catch at us, like strumpets; and scald rimers (contemptible balladeers)

Ballad us our o’tune: the quick comedians

Extemporally (without any preparation) will stage us, and present

Our Alexandrian revels; Antony

Shall be brought drunken forth, and I shall see

Some squeaking Cleopatra boy my greatness

I’the posture of a whore.

It doesn’t sound all that appealing, does it?

By the way, I got those definitions that I added in parentheses on a modern search engine. They’re not from some ancient language!

Shakespeare translation indeed!

 This Shakespeare nut I’ve got here is always getting his knickers in a twist.

He needs to just CALM DOWN.

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

The poor, lame, blind, halt, creep, cry out for thee;

But they ne’er meet with Opportunity.

 

Lucrece

Lucrece                                 Line 902

 

Lucrece is lying in her bed. She has been raped by Tarquin, he has fled, and now she is having all sorts of thoughts: none of them particularly good.

In this particular stanza, and several that go before it, she is blaming Opportunity for what happened to her. That’s right, she’s personifying Opportunity (hence the capital O). She’s spent the previous four stanzas talking about all the troubles that different people get themselves into, and how it wouldn’t have happened if they’d not had the Opportunity. Now, in these last two lines that we have today, she’s noting that the people who could use Opportunity to help them out of troubles never see Opportunity.

Interesting.

Opportunity. Today’s line is all about Opportunity and the lack thereof. But it puts a really bad spin on Opportunity. I think generally we use Opportunity in a more positive sense.

For instance: 

We recently had the Opportunity to take a fantastic trip (see previous post).

And Mojo had the Opportunity to make a new friend. Yes, he has a somewhat apprehensive look on his face, but I can assure you that Mojo and Dave got along famously. 

Opportunity. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I can live no longer by thinking.

 

Orlando

As You Like It        Act V, Scene ii, Line 52

Well how about that for a restart line! I think I feel this way after a week in Malta having the best time of my life. It feels a little bit like I should just enjoy life and stop doing so much thinking! I think (dare I use that expression) that Orlando’s got it right!

This is the crew, our crew, that traveled all the way to Malta to celebrate our 25 year vow renewals with us. 

A dream come true! 

No more thinking needed.

No, Mojo couldn't make this trip with us, but he's happy to have us back home.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line

 

If ever I live to see it, I will challenge it.

 

King Henry

King Henry the Fifth                     Act IV, Scene i, Line 220

 

This is the scene that takes place the night before the Battle of Agincourt. King Henry is wandering about the camp disguised as a common soldier talking with the troops.

Todays’ Line is spoken to a soldier named Michael Williams. The King and Michael have gotten into an argument because the latter is disputing that the King would be willing to die with them in battle. Michael has said that the King has only said he would to make us fight cheerfully: but when our throats are cut, he may be ransom’d, and we ne’er the wiser.

By ransom’d he means that the French will take Henry captive and sell him back to British. It's what them did back then with all the high ranking soldiers. The commoners got killed in battle, whilst the officers got taken captive to be ransom’d.

That’s right, the one percenters lived and the ninety-nine percenters died. Sound familiar?

I'm not sure I like where this is going. It might be time to PULL UP!

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line

 

‘Art thou ashamed to kiss? Then wink again,

And I will wink; so shall the day seem night;

Love keeps his revels where there are but twain;

Be bold to play, our sport is not in sight:

These blue-vein’d violets whereon we lean

Never can blab, nor know not what we mean.

 

Venus

Venus and Adonis                         Line 121

This is one verse from the poem. It’s the second page of an eleven-page poem, and Venus is trying to get some action from Adonis; trying and failing. She’s telling him that no one’s going to see them, and that the violets that they’re sitting on aren’t going to blab.

Can you believe it: Blab is a Shakespearean word? Blab? Who would’ve thunk it?  

Blab?

Yes, Mojo: Blab.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line

 

Sir, his wife, some two months since, fled from his house; her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which holy undertaking, with most austere sanctimony, she accomplist; and there residing, the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath; and now she sings in heaven.

 

First Lord

All’s Well That Ends Well             Act IV, Scene iii, Line 46

 

The first and second lord, two anonymous henchmen here, are bringing us up to date on what’s going on with the two main people of the play. Betram is working on getting into bed with some local babe (this was related earlier in the scene), whilst his wife Helena, having given up on her marriage, went on a pilgrimage and subsequently died of grief. Spoiler alert: she’s not really dead.

So, what can we say about Today’s Line? Should we talk about Will’s use of anonymous henchmen to relate off-stage happenings to keep the play flowing? He does this a lot in some of his plays. Should we spend some time with his language: became a prey to her grief. Perhaps we can discuss Will’s propensity for really long sentences: seven plus lines full of commas, and semicolons. Or is there something else. Or perhaps we don’t discuss the line at all? Thoughts?

How about turning up the damn heat, how's that for a thought, huh? 

Holey moley, I'm freezing my baguettes off here! 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

And strange it is

That nature must compel us to lament

Our most persisted deeds.

 

Agrippa                                                               

Antony and Cleopatra                   Act V, Scene i, Line 28

 

In today’s context Agrippa is talking about the fact that they are all sad to hear that Antony has killed himself, even though he is the enemy and they are in Egypt to find Antony and defeat him. 

But, as with much of Will’s great lines, we can use this line to apply to a myriad of things in our own lives. I guess you can use this phrase to talk about bad habits; things you might do constantly even though you wish you didn’t do them. Actually, that would be a perfect use of it.

 

“I wish I weren’t such a push over. Every time someone asks me for something I say yes.”

“And strange it is that nature must compel us to lament our most persisted deeds.”

“Huh?”

 

Yeah, that would probably be the response in most cases: huh?

I don't foresee a lot of lamentation being a result of this persistent deed. Do you?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Did your letters pierce the queen to any demonstration of grief?

 

Earl of Kent                                                        

King Lear                      Act IV, Scene iii, Line 10

 

Kent is speaking to a messenger who had brought the former’s letter to Cordelia describing what has happened to Lear, her father, and how her sisters have mistreated him. Remember, after Lear rejected Cordelia she went and married the king of France. So, I guess that makes her a queen.

The messenger’s response, indeed this whole very short scene, is worth reading. Well, it’s Shakespeare; so what else is new. Anyway, here’s the first part of the messenger’s response to Kent. 

Ay, sir; she took them, read them in my presence;

And now and then an ample tear trill’d down

Her delicate cheek: it seem’d she was a queen

Over her passion; who, most rebel-like,

Sought to be king o’er her.

The tear was ample, it trill’d, and her cheek was delicate.

I wish I could write like that.

Your writing's pretty good, Mr. Blagys. 

Of course, it's not Shakespeare; but whose is?

Thanks Mojo.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Fear it not, sir: I would I were so sure

To win the king, as I am bold her honour

Will remain hers.

 

Posthumus Leonatus

Cymbeline                      Act II, Scene iv, Line 1

 

Posthumus is saying that he’s sure that his wife will be faithful to him. He’s right, but rat-fink Iachimo is going to show up in a minute and convince him otherwise.

I have to say, Will certainly uses infidelity, whether real or assumed, as a major part of the plot of so many of his plays! Off the top of my head, Othello, The Winter’s Tale, Much Ado About Nothing… well that’s all I can come up with right now. I bet, though, that if I went through the list of his plays I’d come up with a few more.

Well, if you think about it, jealousy is one of the strongest of human emotions. Interesting to think about, isn’t it? It should be love, or maybe grief, but I’m not so sure. Jealousy is very strong. I guess Will knew that. Yes sir, I would love to sit down to a dinner with this guy.

When, oh  when, is this guy going to realize that William Shakespeare died four hundred years ago, and dead people don't come to dinner. When?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

She is young and apt:

Our own precedent passions do instruct us

What levity’s in youth.

 

Old Athenian

Timon of Athens                    Act I, Scene i, Line 136

 

I find this line easily understandable. Is that because I read a lot of Shakespeare, or is it indeed easily understandable? Either way, it’s a nice line.

Just to add some context: the Old Athenian is at Timon’s house. It so happens that one of Timon’s servants is in love with the Old Athenian’s daughter and the old man is trying to get Timon to forbid his servant from seeing the girl. Timon asks if the girl is in love with his servant, and this is the Old Athenian’s response: she’s young, and our own experience of being young tells us how irresponsible and impulsive young people are. Our own precedent passions. Such a nice phrase, precedent passions.

See, that’s what Will is all about: putting words like that together. It’s so simple, and yet, two words that say so much. Precedent passions describe the feelings we experienced when we were young that we now no longer feel, and yet still remember.

Will struck this very same note in The Tempest when Prospero was watching his daughter Miranda interacting and falling in love with Ferdinand. Prospero said,

So glad of this as they I cannot be,

Who are surprised withal; but my rejoicing

At nothing can be more.

Prospero’s saying that he can’t feel the emotions the young’ns are feeling, but he’s still happy.

So glad of this as they I cannot be is nowhere near as lovely as precedent passions, but it gets the point across.

It’s interesting to note that both Timon and Tempest were written towards the tail end of Will’s career when he himself was getting older and feeling much more like the Old Athenian, or Prospero than like a young lover.

I could go on here, about my own personal experience and the difference between youthful bliss that can only be experienced and felt by the young, and the different kind of love and happiness that comes with an older age. But I won’t.

Anyway, I really like precedent passions.

So, how can this picture possibly be relevant? Well, I'll tell you how. It's tree climbing.

Yes, tree climbing is a boy's activity, and one that an older fellow can look back on and only try to remember the joy of being up so high and looking down on everything; a joy an older guy like me can no longer experience.

Or can he?

Granted, tree climbing does not involve the same degree of passion as the precedent passion talked about in Today's Line, but I think the relevance is valid nonetheless. 

And just in case you're wondering 'Where's Mojo?', well, he's in that fenced in area below the Prius - the light brown area with the raised beds. I guess you can't actually see him, but he's there. You can't see Patrice or Walker yelling  'Get out of that tree before you fall and break your neck, you old fool!', but they're there too. 

Ahhh, tree climbing.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-brain.

 

Sir John Falstaff

King Henry the Fourth Part I       Act II, Scene iv, Line 407

 

Falstaff is telling the hostess to be quiet, as he is about to launch into yet one more of his lengthy, bombastic speeches. Whilst I can’t say that I’m familiar with these terms, pint-pot and tickle-brain, based on the context they appear to be mildly negative epithets; particularly when prefaced with good. Think of them as being sort of like Archie’s reference to Edith as a dingbat, if you’re old enough to know what I’m talking about.  

I called him a pint-pot and now he's sulking. 

I guess you've gotta be careful how you use this stuff.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

To Eltham will I, where the young king is,

Being ordain’d his special governor;

And for his safety there I’ll best devise.

 

Duke of Exeter

King Henry the Sixth Part I          Act I, Scene i, Line 170

 

This first scene of King Henry VI Part I is set at the funeral of Henry V. However, Will wrote this play before he wrote Henry V. He wrote plays about all the kings from Edward III, who reigned in the middle of the 1300’s, covering everyone up to Henry VIII, who died in 1547. Will’s writing career began in the 1580’s, just to give you some context. Elizabeth, Henry VIII’s daughter, was queen then. 

Not all the kings of this two hundred year period have their own play; some are covered in the other plays. Edward IV, for instance is covered in Henry the Sixth Part III and also in Richard the Third. You can read the plays in order, which kind of makes sense, but Will didn’t write them in order; he wrote today’s play first. In fact, today’s play, Henry the Sixth Part I, is one of the first plays that Will wrote in his career. We’re not really sure exactly what order he wrote all his plays in, but this one is one of the first. This one, The Comedy of Errors, and a few others are the ones considered to be his first written plays. Most of this conjecture is based on dates of performances that we still have.

So there’s a little Shakespeare history for you. I had to look up Edward’s and Henry VIII’s dates. I was never great at dates. But, as noted, Will covered about two hundred years of British history in his history plays. And, of course, that was a pretty turbulent time as it included the Wars of the Roses which took up a large part of the 1400’s.

What else would you like to know about? Modern U.S. pop culture? Ehhh, not so well versed on that. I’ll let my associates handle those questions.

And here are the aforementioned associates now; no doubt doing some of that modern U.S. pop culture research. 

CrakerJack researchers they are, both of them.