‘Tis, then, because thou dost not keep a dog,

Whom I would imitate: consumption catch thee!

-Timon

Timon Of Athens                              Act IV, scene iii, line 201

So this Timon fellow is quite the bitter little man in the latter part of this play. And that’s an understatement.

Timon has run away to the woods where he lives in a cave and digs for roots to eat. He’s had it with mankind. Apemantus shows up, and he tells Timon that people have told him that Timon is starting to act like him, Apematus. For the record, Apemantus is portrayed in this play as a rude philosopher. He says to Timon,

            I was directed hither: men report

           Thou dost affect my manners, and dost use them.

To which Timon replies with today’s Totally Random line. I think he’s telling Apematus that he’s not a good as a dog. That would seem like not a very nice thing to say.

I decided to give you the first pic of a dog I came across, and it was this one. Nutsy loves her sunbeams, and I don't think she's caring much about anything in this pic; not about mankind or anything else. And given her level of care-freeness I do believe she's someone whom I would imitate if I had the chance!

I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness: but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without the book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? A red murrain o’ thy jade’s tricks!

-Thersites

Troilus And Cressida                        Act II, scene i, line 16

Another fool. Well, they don’t list him as a fool. He’s listed in the Dramatis Personae as ‘a deform’d and scurrilous Grecian’. Now, to be clear, I’m not sure where this ‘Dramatis Personae’ thing comes from. In the First Folio there is often no cast of characters at all, and when there is it’s not called ‘Dramatis Personae’, I know that for sure. But I guess that’s an issue for another day.

In any event, Ajax is trying to get some info out of Thersites. Whilst the latter does not appear to be Ajax’s servant, he is clearly his subordinate. Thersites is giving Ajax a hard time, and Ajax gives him a smack and says,

            Speak, then, thou vinewedst leaven, speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness.

He’s calling him moldy yeast and smacking him. And that’s when Thersites gives us today’s Totally Random line in reply. ‘beat thee into handsomeness,’ that’s kind of funny. And notice that Thersites is saying that there’s no way he can be beaten into handsomeness.

By the way, this is the play in the First Folio that’s not listed in the table of contents. Have I mentioned that before? Yeah, there’s thirty-six plays in the First Folio and only thirty-five in the table of contents. Go figure.

 

How about one of these horses; do you think they can give a speech? That's what 'con an oration' means. Yeah, I don't think they're going to be giving any speeches. In fact, if anything I think they might even be a bit moldy! 

Hear your own dignity so much profaned,

See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted,

Behold yourself so by a son disdain'd;



-Lord Chief Justice



King Henry The Fourth Part II                                  Act V scene ii line 93



Here’s the deal: Henry IV has just died. A bunch of the big guys are talking, the Lord Chief Justice being one of them. They’re talking about the fact that the Lord Chief Justice had reprimanded Prince Harry, who is now Henry V, and so that this Lord may be in for his comeuppance (in fact, I think he might have actually thrown Prince Harry in jail, but I’m not sure). Harry, now Henry V, enters the room and he sort of asks the Lord Chief Justice about this incident. And the Lord Chief Justice says that when he was Prince Harry his highness was breaking his dad’s rules. That would be King Henry the Fourth’s rules, and that’s what the Chief Justice was enforcing. He asks the new King to wait until he has a son, and to wait until he hears his own dignity so much profaned, his own laws so loosely slighted, and himself by a son disdain’d. Then he’ll understand what the Chief Justice was doing by reprimanding him when he was Prince Harry. And Harry, now King Henry V, says You’re right. Literally, he says,

 You are right, justice, and you weigh this well;

The Lord Chief Justice used a version of the old “wait ‘til you have kids of your own!” It’s the oldest line in the book.

That's my dad in the background looking at my brother on the left with his two sons, the little guy in his mom's arms and the older son on the right. Do you think my dad is thinking anything about being glad that my brother now gets to see what it's like to have sons of his own? Well he seems to be enjoying some thought or another, doesn't he?

We came into the world like brother and brother;

And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.


-Dromio of Ephesus



The Comedy Of Errors              Act V scene i line 426



These are the last lines of the play. And what can we say about them? 


Well, I saw an old production of this play on TV several months ago. I’m not sure if it was made for TV or not, but in any event it had a pretty young Roger Daltry playing the two Dromio roles. I don’t particularly remember his saying these last two lines, but I can imagine it. I dunno, not particularly memorable lines. 


This play is one of Will’s earlier ones. It’s actually listed as the first on at least one chronology, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen two chronologies that were the same. I guess the point is that this play is not one of his best. And to be fair, the Roger Daltry production was no Kenneth Branagh production either. 


So it got me to thinking. In a previous post I had mentioned that Richard III is considered by many to be Will’s breakout play, sort of like Spielberg’s Jaws. And If that’s the case, then The Comedy Of Errors might be Will's equivalent of Speilberg’s Duel. Remember that one? 

Okay then, I'll assume you didn't see Spielberg's Duel. It was a guy driving a '67 Valiant being chased around a deserted desert highway by a rouge tractor trailer. It was a little odd. Anyway, this is the '67 Valiant I was driving around the decidedly non-deserted Bridgeport roads when I was in high school. Sweet ride, eh?

Nay let me praise you while I have a stomach.

 -Jessica



The Merchant Of Venice            Act III, scene v, line 86



I have my belly full of ford.

 -Falstaff



The Merry Wives Of Windsor     Act III, scene v, line 35



Okay, I’m going to cover two days of Totally Random lines here. Why? Because I can’t stomach letting this opportunity slip by. You’ll see what I mean in a moment.



Jesscia is responding to Lorenzo who’s saying that they should go to dinner. Now I’m not entirely sure what she means by ‘while I have a stomach’. She might be saying that she’s hungry? Or she might be saying ‘While I still want to do it (praise you)’.  Or maybe it’s something else. It’s hard to tell. What’s for certain is that this is the very end of a scene that was dominated by Launcelot Gobo engaging in a bunch of wordplay with Lorenzo. And now that Gobo is gone, here at the end of the scene, it’s hard to tell what’s wordplay here and what’s not.



Falstaff, on the other hand, with yesterday’s line is saying that he’s had enough of Mistress Ford. Mistress Quickly has just shown up and she says that she’s just come from Mistress Ford, and it’s pretty evident that Falstaff has no desire to deal with Mistress Ford, he’s got a belly full of her. This is an expression still in use today. At least I still use it.



So as you can see, it’s two days in a row of stomachs. A belly full of Ford, and having the stomach for, well, something. How about that?

So here I am with a bowl full of Oslo shrimp. I was expecting a dish prepared with shrimp. Instead I got a big bowl of unprepared shrimp. They were whole, little heads and all. Each one had to be meticulously pulled apart to eat, leaving a tiny piece of edible shrimp meat. And they weren't even that tasty. I got tired of cleaning shrimp pretty quickly. I can't say that I literally had my belly full of shrimp, but I certainly had a figurative belly full. And I had no stomach for the whole deal.
Now what do you think of that?

Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolf.

-Page

King Henry The Fourth Part II            Act I scene ii line 59

This is the beginning of the play, and this scene is dominated by, you guessed it, Falstaff. I’m not quite sure what the reference regarding ‘the prince for striking him about Bardolf’ is, but that might be irrelevant. At issue is the fact that Falstaff does not want to deal with this nobleman so that he tells his page ‘Wait close; I will not see him’. First he's going to pretend not to see him. And then a few lines further down he tells the page ‘Boy, tell him I am deaf’. Now he will pretend not to hear him. Anything to avoid dealing with the nobleman because Falstaff is certain that the fellow is going to try to hold him responsible for something, which of course he is. And certainly Falstaff does not want to be held accountable for anything. This is the guy, Falstaff, that is supposedly Shakespeare’s greatest creation. I still don’t get it.

First, my own little Falstaff is trying to pretend that he doesn't see or hear me.

 

 

Then, well I'm not even sure he's doing now. Very Falstaffian indeed!