O God! That one might read the book of fate,

And see the revolution of the times

Make mountains level, and the continent,

Weary of solid firmness, melt itself,

Into the sea!

 -King Henry

 King Henry the Fourth Part II      Act III, scene i    Line 45

Well this is a pretty pertinent quote for today’s state of affairs. It sounds like Henry wants to see the future, but that he wants to see all things come to an end. It sounds quite fatalistic and pessimistic.

I would say that there are more than just a few people in our country today who are feeling this way. Probably about sixty millions of them. And that’s not surprising considering that we have now decided to put a misogynistic, bigot, imbecile in charge. However, my own personal feelings are more optimistic. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand if you want to see the mountains level and the continent melt into the sea. I get it. And this fellow, clearly proven to be a morally corrupt idiot with the maturity of high schooler, might just make you want this to happen. So how can I be optimistic?

I’m optimistic because our country’s government has not been working for quite a while, and definitely needs something to reboot it. Perhaps this, as unpleasant as it is, will help the reboot.

I’m optimistic because I don’t believe the imbecile is too far-right (or far-left) regardless of his party affiliation, but rather more centrist (though I’m not sure he even realizes this, or knows what the word ‘centrist’ means). So that is better than having an extremist in charge.

I’m optimistic because I believe that this ego-driven imbecile will want to be considered a great leader and because of this will try to actually do some good things. I also believe the office of the president in and of itself tends to elevate the occupant’s way of thinking.

I’m optimistic because I believe the election of the moron will be a wake-up call to all of us regarding what can happen if we don’t care more about what’s going on.

I’m optimistic because I believe there are many, many good men and women faithfully serving our country and I believe they will continue to do so, keeping us safe, in spite of the imbecile.

And finally, I’m optimistic because I have to be. I want this grand experiment of democracy to continue. I have children who need it to continue, and I believe it will continue. I believe this is a great country, much greater than any one imbecile.

So it’s absolutely amazing that we managed to come up with this Totally Random line today. And I apologize for going a little more off course than I usually do. But isn’t it once again fantastic to see how timeless Will’s words are. Timeless or not, though, don’t take the line too seriously, and please don’t be Henry. Be optimistic.

Of course, being a little prayerful wouldn’t hurt either.

God bless us all! I know that he will.

Away! by Jupiter,

This shall not be revoked.

-Lear

King Lear                            Act I, scene i        Line 180

And here he goes again. The only other time we had a line from Lear (the character, not the play) he was spouting about coining and being the king. But that was much later in the play. Today we’re in the first scene of the play. Lear has just disowned Cordelia (bad move) and now he’s banishing Kent (equally bad move). It seems that Lear pretty much does everything in the first scene of the play to screw himself for the rest of the play. And we spend the rest of the play watching this self-screw job play out.

At the very least, though, we get a nice expletive that we can use. And it’s a pretty darn clean one as well, by Jupiter! By way of context (in case you’re interested), he’s telling Kent to beat it, by Jupiter, and that he’s not going to change his mind about banishing him. This might be another one of those instances where the audience is looking at what’s going on and saying to themselves (or out loud) ‘Lear, you boob, Cordelia and Kent are the good ones! Idiot!’ You know that at this point Goneril and Regan are already chuckling to themselves. Now I don’t mean to come off as being too critical of Will, but honestly, sometimes the way he sets stuff up, or the things he has some of his main people doing, seem to lack a little bit of credibility. Do you agree? On second thought, I guess all I have to do is look at the people around me, or the news headlines (which by the way I’m still doing a pretty good job of avoiding ever since I started doing these blog posts, except for lately with this damn election) to realize that this stuff is not that unbelievable at all. Yes, after contemplation, by Jupiter, I take it back! In a very real sense it seems like half the  country just said 'Away! by Jupiter, this shall not be revoked' to what could have been their Kent or Cordelia last night in favor of an imbecile. Yes, this stuff is entirely believable, and Will is indeed timeless. Oh my!

Myself, I'm doing fine, because luckily I have two Cordelias. So I'm not going to worry about it, by Jupiter!

Now, God delay our rebellion! As we are

ourselves, what things are we.

 -First Lord

 

All’s Well That Ends Well            Act IV, scene iii   Line 17

 

It occurred to me this morning, while contemplating on this line, the genius of the Totally Random Daily Shakespeare project. And what I mean is this; By taking these lines randomly there is not one line in all of Shakespeare’s works that is deemed unworthy of our study. They are all up for grabs. And accordingly, if we go at it long enough we’ll look at every single line that Will wrote (admittedly that’s going to take quite a while; I think it was estimated at 342 years). The other way that we could accomplish this would be to go in order, play by play, line by line. Now you could easily argue that this would make more sense. But I beg to differ. For one thing, if we were trying to work our way through one play this way we would find it much too tedious. Can you imagine? It would have taken about ten days to get from the beginning of this scene to where we are now, which is a little less than a quarter of this page in my compilation. It would be almost impossible to keep ourselves from moving faster through the play. And so we would never end up being able to give each line the attention that it gets by being singled out in the Totally Random manner. Further, I’m sure you must agree that doing it this way is much more adventurous and interesting. Yes, this is clearly the way to go. Now, today’s line…

Today’s line is an exclamation which could just have easily been “What a piece of work!” They’re talking about Bertram who is the main character in this play. These guys are no-names and this beginning of the scene is meant to give us, the audience, a bit of an update on Bertram’s state of affairs. They’re telling us that Bertram got a letter from his mother in which she’s laid into him about treating his wife poorly. They’ve told us the king is mad at him (I’m not sure why the king is mad). And finally they’ve told us that irrespective of these things, Bertram is now busy spending time with some new lady in town that he just met. So today’s Totally Random line is really nothing more than an exclamation. We’re not talking about any specific rebellion here any more than we’re talking about any specific cow when we say ‘Holy Cow!’ It’s basically ‘Holy Cow’ (Now, God delay our rebellion), ‘What a piece of work!’ (as we are ourselves, what things we are).  

So we’ve basically picked up two exclamations here that are perfectly usable, and can be used separately or together. I would suggest separately. I think ‘God delay our rebellion’ should be used very non-specifically. Again, like ‘holy cow!’.  But ‘as we are ourselves, what things we are’ is basically a kind of non-specific, and yet you know what I’m thinking, response to, and about, what someone has done.

‘Did you hear that Lucy went to the casino last week and lost fifteen hundred dollars at the roulette table, and then picked up some twenty-five year old guy and spent the night with him!?’

‘Oh my God! As we are ourselves, what things we are!’  

See, we might have passed right over that line and missed out on the opportunity to appreciate it. God delay our rebellion, Totally Random!

When a moose sticks his head in your car window it qualifies for a "Now, God delay our rebellion! As we are ourselves, what things are we!"

In very brief, the suit is impertinent to

myself, as your worship shall know by this

honest old man: and, though I say it,

though old man, yet poor man, my father.

 

-Launcelot Gobbo

 

The Merchant Of Venice              Act II, scene ii      Line 137

This is a pretty interesting scene. And an exceedingly interesting name of this character: Launcelot Gobbo. Launcelot is listed as a clown, servant to Shylock. So once again we have a clown. But this one is not specifically a court jester. In fact, I don’t think he’s officially a ‘clown’. I think he’s officially a ‘servant’ the ‘clown’ listing serving to describe him more than anything. Shylock being a private citizen and money lender it seems unlikely that he would be hiring the services of a jester. At least that’s what I think. I don’t actually know for sure.

But official or unofficial clown, giving him the name of Launcelot is intriguing. Lancelot is of course is the name of a renowned knight of King Arthur’s court. King Arthur’s Lancelot was not a clown. He was as far from a clown as you could get. So what’s Will’s comment here? What’s he saying about Launcelot Gobbo, the clownish servant, by giving him the name of King Arthur’s knight? I don’t know the answer to this question, but I’m sure Will was up to something.  Often times he uses his clowns to spout truths, making them the smartest people in the play. Is he making this one the most gallant? The bravest? Well I’m not seeing it.

In any event, in the beginning of this scene Launcelot is having an argument with himself, an argument between his own devil whispering in one ear and his own angel whispering in the other. It’s sort of like the scene in Animal House where the girl passes out on Pinto in his dorm room. Except in this case there’s not a tiny little angel and devil appearing on Launcelot Gobbo’s shoulder, because it’s a play. In this case Launcelot just talks us through the argument, taking both sides. The argument is whether or not Launcelot Gobbo should run away from his master, Shylock. And while he’s arguing with himself, his father, Old Gobbo, shows up. Launcelot tells his father what he’s considering, and then Bassanio shows up. At that point young and old Gobbo try to talk Bassanio into taking Launcelot into his service. In fact, the two Gobbo’s are leading up to this question when Launcelot speaks today’s Totally Random line to Bassanio. You kind of have to read the several lines leading up to this line, or better yet the whole scene, to understand the context of this one line. And you need to understand that Launcelot Gobbo has both a really funny way of talking and a manner of rambling on and on and using as many words as possible to say as little as possible. That’s what he’s doing with today’s line. In fact, by prefacing this sentence with ‘in very brief’, Launcelot is doing a ‘Tony Long-story-short’ thing (The Tony thing will be explained in the 11/11 post, you’ll have to wait), because he’s not being brief at all, in fact quite the opposite. Hah, I just caught that! That Will is a real pistol!

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have a goody-two-shoes whispering in one ear and a…well, not-so-good-guy whispering in the other.

If thou do this, I’ll show thee wondrous things.

 

-Aaron

 

Titus Andronicus                              Act V, scene i       Line 55

Okay, let’s not be fooled! I know, this sounds like it’s a line that’s leading us to good things. Not so. Look at what play it’s from. Look at the speaker. We’ve had three lines from this play already, one of them by Aaron. Have any of them portended anything good? No. Will this one? No. So don’t get your hopes up.

On the other hand, if you’d like, we can take this line completely out of context and just work with the words given. Yes, we could do that because, remember, the only rule that we are bound by in working with these lines: There are no rules. Yes, I stole that form Rat Race, one of my favorite movies of all time. But it’s true. Did Will work by any rules? No, not really. And that’s how he was able to come up with this fabulous stuff, these wondrous things.

Oh fiddlesticks. I can’t do that. The wondrous things that Aaron’s talking about… well wait, first things first. The If thou do this that he’s talking about is if they don’t kill his infant son. So he’s trying to prevent yet another murder, this one infanticide. But at least for once he’s trying to prevent a murder. And the wondrous things he’ll show them? He’s not actually going to show them anything, he’s going to tell them stuff. He’s going to tell about murders, rapes, and massacres, Acts of black night, abominable deeds, complots of mischief, treason, villainies ruthful to hear, yet piteously performed. His words, not mine. Yes, that’s the wondrous things. Gives you pause to think what Aaron’s definition of the word wondrous is, doesn’t it?

So where does that leave us? Scratching our heads, I should say, and wondering how Will could have written a play so completely full of horrible stuff. Is there even just one scene in this play that doesn’t involve some of these wondrous things? It doesn’t appear so. Well, at least he’s consistent.

Tarzan won't come down when we're doing a line from Titus anymore. He hides up in the ceiling joists. Can you see him up there? Wait, here's a close up.

I can't get him anywhere near my desk. This stuff from Titus just freaks him out.

Beseech you sir, be merry; you have cause,

So have we all, of joy;

-Gonzalo

The Tempest      Act II, scene i       Line 1

Ahhh, The Tempest again. And a very upbeat and optimistic line.

This is the first line of Act II where the king’s group, who were being tossed about at sea in the first act, find themselves safe and sound on Prospero’s island. Gonzalo, ever the optimist, is talking about how lucky they are to have survived. His little speech, which goes on for a bit, is partly an attempt to cheer up King Alonso who is a bit out of sorts because his son, Ferdinand, is missing and he’s worried that he’s drowned. Of course if we’ve gotten through Act I, we know that’s not the case as Ferdinand has found himself onto the island separately and has already met Prospero and Miranda. One thing I have to say about this play is that it doesn’t seem to have that Three’s Company scenarios of people pretending to be someone they’re not, and other people acting on misinformation/misconceptions. This play is much more straightforward. And no severed heads.

So this is a very uplifting line. And it’s really a thought that we should all be living with constantly.

Yes, you’re having trouble with that job search. But the house is paid off and your wife has a good job so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, you’ve got a pile of homework to do. But you’re getting an education that can prepare you to live a good life, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, the dog peed on my book and ruined it, but it’s only a book, and I can get a new one if I want, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, it’s true, you’re thinking that this blog post is tedious and boring, but it’s almost over, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy

Bottom line: Be thankful! If for no other reason, you’ll find that being thankful makes it a lot harder to be feeling angry, resentful, or otherwise bad. Trust me, it’s true!

Self explanatory

And of women.

 

-Bardolph

 

King Henry the Fifth       Act II, scene iii     Line 33

Well folks, believe it or not this is the third time that we have arrived at page 493 of my compilation. That’s right, Henry the Fifth. So far on this one page we’ve sampled the end of Act II, Scene ii where Henry is sending some guys to their death (9/16 post), and the beginning of Scene iii where a bunch of Falstaff’s friends are in the bar talking about the recent death of Falstaff (9/26 post). And today we’re back in the bar in that same conversation about Falstaff.

They’re talking about Falstaff’s last minutes and they’re saying that he cried that he was out of liquor and out of women. Hostess, who was there with Falstaff at the end, certifies the liquor claim, but denies the women claim. Boy (remember Boy from the 9/26 post?) disputes this and says he did cry that he was out of women and that women were ‘devils incarnate’. So I’m not exactly sure who was there at Falstaff’s end, Hostess, boy, or both, but whoever was there, did Falstaff cry out for women at the end, or not? We have conflicting reports and how appropriate of Will to do this to us. Does this guy ever just give us the straight scoop and make it easy or does he always have to make us work at it

However, the bigger question in my mind is not how Falstaff died, but why. That is to say, why did Will kill him off? From everything I’ve read about him, Falstaff was one of Will’s most memorable characters. In fact he later created a whole play just around Falstaff. Again, I don’t know that play so I’m not sure how he went about resurrecting Falstaff. But why kill him off in the first place if he was so popular? Oh, the mysteries of Will.

Here’s a pic of Falstaff from my A.L. Rowse book. There’s a bunch of pics of different actors portraying Falstaff, and they all show a large, somewhat comical looking gent, almost always with a drink in his hand.