Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

If thou, that bidd’st me be content, wert grim,

Ugly, and slanderous to thy mother’s womb,

Full of unpleasing blots and sightless stains,

Lame, foolish, crooked, swart, prodigious,

Pacht with foul moles and eye-offending marks

I would not care, I then would be content;

For then I should not love thee; no, nor thou

Become thy great birth, nor deserve a crown.

But thou art fair; and at thy birth, dear boy,

Nature and Fortune join’d to make thee great;

Of Nature’s gifts thou mayst with lilies boast

And with the half-blown rose: but Fortune, O!

She is corrupted changed and won from thee;

Sh’adulterates hourly with thine Uncle John;

And with her golden hand hath pluckt on France

To tread down fair respect of sovereignty,

And made his majesty the bawd to theirs.

 

Constance

King John       Act III, Scene i, Line 48

 

Okay, that's a long one. No sense complaining; let's just get at it.

The line previous to this is Arthur, the son of Constance, saying to his mother,

I do beseech you, madam, be content.

Previous to that, Constance had been on a rant about the horrible peace deal that had been struck with France. It seems that much of the kingdom has been given up and she’s upset because her son, Arthur, who is the heir to the throne of the childless King John, stands to inherit a much lesser kingdom than she thinks he should be getting. That is her issue, and that is what she’s talking about in Today’s Lines.

So what’s she saying to Arthur? She’s saying that if he was born ugly, stupid, and worthless she wouldn’t love him, and he wouldn’t deserve the crown. But he’s not, he’s born to greatness, and nature and fortune dictate greatness for him. However, his worthless Uncle John (again, that’s King John), has corrupted fortune and worked to make sure that the England that Arthur will inherit as ruler will be subservient to France.

And there you have it. Overbearing mother, or a concerned parent with a valid gripe? You tell me.  

Overbearing my butt! This lady is right on. 

I would certainly hope that someone would stick up for me if you were going to screw up all that I'm going to be inheriting from you when you kick the bucket. 

Mojo, you're not going to be inherit....   oh, never mind.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Thou shalt inquire him out among the Goths:

 

Titus      

Titus Andronicus           Act V, Scene ii, Line 123

 

This is part of an eight-line sentence full of commas, colons, and semi-colons. I was gonna give you the whole eight lines, but thought better of it, so you just got Thou shalt inquire him out among the Goths.

I mean, that’s enough, isn’t it?

 

Yes!! That’s enough!!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill qualities.

 

Margaret

Much Ado About Nothing            Act II Scene i, Line 96

Margaret is talking with Balthazar; he is telling her that he likes her, and she is telling him not to bother. 

Well, I would you did like me, is Balthazar’s line that Margaret is replying to.

I believe that it’s often syntax, the order of the words in a sentence, that makes Shakespeare hard to understand. And this is why it’s easier to understand when listened to, because if the speaker is someone who knows what the lines mean, they can accent the words in such a way so that it makes the odd order of the words more comprehensible. 

I can think of three reasons for Will using odd syntax: By playing with the syntax he can gain emphasis on different things where he wants it. By playing with syntax he can make the lines properly metrical. Finally, in some cases the syntax he is using was probably the order of the words that was more usual back in 1690.

Syntax.  

Let’s take today’s lines. I guess the other issue today is the use of the word would. Wish is a word that might make this clearer.

Well, I would you did like me.

Well, I wish you liked me. I changed did like to liked.

So would not I. 

I wouldn’t (wish that). I put I at the beginning of the sentence.

If you think of this stuff as Yoda speak, maybe that would make it easier. It occurs to me that no one seems to object to Yoda’s syntax, and it’s not that different from Will’s.

Again, Syntax.

Again, welcome aboard.

And here's what Mojo thinks about syntax.

Going,

Going,

  

Gone!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

For him, I think not on him; for his thoughts,

Would they were blanks, rather than fill’d with me!

Olivia

Twelfth Night                Act III Scene i, Line 106

Regarding him (Duke Orsino), I don’t think about him at all; regarding his thoughts, it would be better off if his thoughts were about nothing than to be about me.

There. That’s Pete’s version. Pretty simple. It wasn’t that simple when I first read it. But it turns out that it is pretty simple. Sometimes things can seem more difficult at first, but then they come into focus and you realize they’re pretty straightforward. 

I think there’s two things to talk about here, and they’re very related. One is simplicity, and the other is thoughts. So let’s open this up

What Olivia’s saying is simple to understand, and the idea she’s conveying is simple too. Tell the duke to stop thinking about me. Simple as that. But is it so simple to stop thinking about things? Not always. 

And this is true the stressful world of April, 2025 that we’re living in and through.

I think Taylor Swift said it best: Leading up to the election she said that she was voting for Kamala and one of the main reasons was that we needed calm leadership, not chaos and crisis. Well, we got chaos and crisis, and I think we’re all feeling the effects of that now. I know I am. I can do my best to try to pull up, but it’s just not always possible for me. 

It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

 

This little guy here helps me a lot. He helps me pull up (get my thoughts out of the day-to-day stress), and he helps me keep it simple. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

‘Have done,’ quoth he: ‘my uncontrolled tide
Turns not, but swells the higher by this let.
Small lights are soon blown out, huge fires abide,
And with the wind in greater fury fret:
The petty streams that pay a daily debt
     To their salt sovereign, with their fresh falls’                     haste

     Add to his flow, but alter not his taste.

 

Tarquin

 Lucrece                         Line  651

Now from where I’m sitting, if I give you just a little context, I believe you should have no problem understanding exactly what Tarquin is saying. But unfortunately, I think I’m probably wrong in that assumption.

Let’s try anyway.

This is Tarquin talking. He’s stolen into Lucrece’s bedroom late at night with the intent of having his way with her. She is scared to death and wants no part of him. That’s not going to stop him. Remember, the poem is alternately titled Lucrece or The Rape Of Lucrece. Our victim has just spent a number of lines trying to talk Tarquin out of raping her. Today’s lines are part of Tarquin’s response to this plea. And one more bit of help: the word let in the second line can be taken to mean obstacle. In this case he’s referring to the obstacle of her trying to stop him.

Soooo, got it? Probably not. 

Okay, here’s the Pete's short version:
First two lines: Stop talking. You’re not going to stop me, you’re just making me want to do this more.
Next two lines: Like a large fire that grows bigger in a wind, my urge grows stronger with your resisting it.
Last three: Okay, I can’t quite figure out what this metaphor is saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s more of the same.

Now do you see it?

  

 See what? Is there another mouse?

Never mind, Mojo.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Methinks the realms of England, France, and Ireland

Bear that proportion to my flesh and blood

As did the fatal brand Althaea burn’d

Unto the prince’s heart of Calydon.

 

Duke of York

King Henry the Sixth Part II        Act I Scene i, Line 233

It just so happens that this very line is explained by Isaac Asimov in his Asimov’s Guide To Shakespeare. The Duke of York has been talking to himself about the fact that he's going to steal the throne from Henry, and this line is a reference to how important it is for him to take over the power. 

Here’s Asimov –

This is a reference to Meleager of Calydon, whose life would last only so long as a brand in the keeping of his mother, Althaea, remained unburned. Richard feels the loss of his realm will kill him just as surely as the burning of the brand would kill Meleager.

 And there you have it.

I was so proud of myself for being able to come up with this perfect explanation of Althaea and Calydon-

 

And then Mojo spotted the mouse, and that was the end of that short-lived, proud moment.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Lords, to the field; Saint George and victory!

 

King Edward

King Henry the Sixth Part III               Act V Scene i, Line 113

We’re near the end of the Henry III plays, and as you can see, Edward is the king now. I forget the specific chain of events, but I know that Edward usurps the throne from Henry (twice, actually), before Richard then grabs it from Edward’s young son. But that’s the next play in line: Richard the Third, and we're not there yet.

First we have to get through the battle that Edward is leading the charge into. And don’t ask me what battle this is, because I don’t know. There’s lots of battles between the forces of Edward and the forces of Henry in the Henry VI plays. As I said, the crown goes back and forth between Henry had Edward three times before it’s over. But it’s almost over. I think this is the last Edward vs Henry battle. Actually, in a lot of these battles it’s Edward vs Margaret, Henry’s wife. Yeah, Henry has trouble putting on his big boy pants for some of these battles, so that Margaret has to lead the troops. I’m not sure if that’s the case here.
 
I suppose we could have gotten by with a bit less of an explanation for a simple line like this. Something along the lines of
This is King Edward leading his forces into battle with the forces of King Henry.

There, how’s that?

Too late. I lost the guy already to...heck, I have no idea what Jeff's reading to him. Oh well, I guess everybody needs a break from Shakespeare once in a while.