Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Frateretto calls me, and tells me Nero is an angler in the lake of darkness. – Pray, innocent, and beware the foul fiend.  

 

Edgar

King Lear                       Act III, Scene vi, Line 7

Will uses fool characters in lots of his plays. These characters sometimes take the form of actual fools (court jesters) but many times they’re just simpletons of one sort or another. In almost all cases these fools ramble on in apparent nonsense talk, but the talk often makes a lot of sense. Sometimes that sense is quite hard to find.

In this play we have a fool, a literal court jester, but we also have Edgar, today’s speaker. The latter is neither a jester nor a simpleton. Rather he is merely pretending to be either a fool or quite mad; key word, pretending.

So, you say, enough of the endless chatter, what the heck is Edgar saying? That’s the thing. I find it almost impossible to get any meaning out of these fools’ lines. I assume it’s not just random gibberish because, given the genius of Will, it seems illogical that he would just write gibberish. But what meaning does it have in this play? I have absolutely no idea.

Boy, as I look back on what I wrote so far, I’m beginning to think it looks like the ramblings of the fool. Is that me?

Why does this little guy always look perfectly coiffed and posed for these pics, and I always look like I just woke up?

Is he playing me for the fool?

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

This Caesar was a tyrant. 

Nay, that’s certain.

 

First and Third Citizens

Julius Caesar         Act III, Scene ii, Line 73

Most days we have lines from scenes, sometimes whole plays, that most of you have never heard of. That is not the case today. This is the first scene after titular Julius Caesar has been killed. The scene starts with Brutus explaining to the crowd that the he and the others  killed Caesar to save Rome, and that Caesar would have become a dictator. Then Marc Antony speaks. Today’s Lines are from the crowd, who have been convinced by Brutus that Caesar was a tyrant. Marc Antony then begins with the pretty famous

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

That’s only a few lines down from the Today’s Lines. Anyway, Antony goes on, in a very clever way, to take the crowd from hating Caesar and praising Brutus, when he starts, to loving Caesar and wanting Brutus dead, by the end of his speech. It’s a classic example of the fickleness of the crowd, and a perfect display of the fine line between democracy and crowd rule. It's also a superb example of the power of a good speaker being able to own the crowd.

A few years ago, this play was staged in Central Park with the actors wearing modern day dress. Caesar was played by a guy with goofy hair, a blue suit, and a big red tie; yes, him. There was a big uproar that any theatrical presentation would show a sitting president being assassinated. I don’t think many of the people creating the uproar had any sense of what the play is all about. It occurs to me, however, that a more appropriate character in the play to put the red tie on would have been Marc Antony. He is the one who is able to manipulate the crowd. Also, by doing this, none of Mr. Red Tie’s supporters would have been upset in the least.

Pssst, Mr. Blagys – you promised to keep politics out of these posts.

You're right, Mojo. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

These be the stops that hinder study quite,

And train our intellects to vain delight.

 

King of Navarre

Love’s Labour’s Lost             Act I, Scene i, Line 70

I don’t know about you, but when I read those two lines I immediately thought of the internet, and specifically, surfing and scrolling. I’m pretty sure, though, that’s not what the king is referring to. Now, do we want to get into a discussion (lecture) about the evils of getting sucked into the internet for hours of surfing/scrolling, or should we take a look at what the king is actually talking about. Yes, of course: the latter. 

So here it is: 

This is the first scene of the play where they are setting up the premise of what the play will be about, which is that the king and three of his fellows have made a commitment to spend the next three years studying. During those three years, in order to facilitate their studies, they will limit their food intake, limit their sleep to three hours a night, and forego women completely. One of the guys, Berowne, is objecting and saying that he agreed to the three years of study, but not the bit about food, sleep and women. He says he can study just fine with those things in his life, but it is exactly those three things, not the internet, to which the king is referring in Today’s Lines.

Let me just say that I think the internet is a more relevant answer to the question of what the king is referring to. 

Anyway, it’s a pretty good play because with that setup there’s all sorts of things that can go wrong. The main thing that happens in this play is that the Princess of France comes to visit the king’s court with her entourage of women attendants. But we won’t get into the details because that’s the whole rest of the play. I think the better thing to do is to just take the king’s words as a proper warning of the dangers of internet scrolling.

So next time you click on Instagram, or Facebook, or even just to use the Google, remember the king’s words, 

These be the stops that hinder study quite,

And train our intellects to vain delight.

Do - Spend your time reading.

Don't - Spend your time surfing.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Master, be wise:  An if you give it her,

The devil will shake  her chain, and fright us with it.

 

Dromio of Syracuse

The Comedy of Errros          Act IV, Scene iii, Line 75

Just one more case of mistaken identity in this play of mistaken identities. This time at least we have a matched set of Dromio and Antipholus (both of Syracuse), but the courtezan they’re dealing with thinks that she’s speaking to the Ephesus pair.

A courtezan is defined in my Shakespeare glossary as a prostitute or a strumpet, and a strumpet is defined as a harlot, or prostitute, or whore. So no matter which way you look at it, the courtezan is a woman of less than stellar repute. The discussion centers around some jewelry, but neither Dromio nor Antipholus has any idea what she’s talking about, but Dromio is very wary of dealing with her and is warning Antipholus as such. 

Apparently Antipholus of Ephesus has had some dealings with this woman of ill repute, but I guess that’s not terribly relevant to our discussion of today’s line.

Actually, I’m not sure we have anything more to discuss about today’s line.

 Then, can I go back to sleep now?

Yes Mojo, you can go back to sleep now.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

                                             I saw you lately,

When you caught hurt in parting two that fought:

 

Marina

Pericles, Prince of Tyre        Act IV, Scene i, Line 88

Leonine has told Marina that that he’s going to have to kill her by order of his boss, the governor’s wife. Marina’s trying to talk him out of it by telling him what a good guy he is. Here’s what she says to him in full.

You will not do’t for all the world, I hope,
You are well-favour’d, and your looks foreshow
You have a gentle heart. I saw you lately,
When you caught hurt in parting two that fought:
Good sooth, it show’s well in you: do so now;
Your lady seeks my life; come you between,
And save poor me, the weaker.

Marina’s pleas are in vain and do nothing to change Leonine’s mind. However, luckily for Marina (depending on how you look at it), just as Leonine is about to kill her, a bunch of pirates show up and kidnap her. I suppose that’s what’s called out of the frying pan, into the fire?

System Note:

For reasons unbeknownst to this luddite, it is not possible this morning to upload a picture to blogger.com. That's a shame, because I had a really good shot of Mojo peeking out from under the blankets with a surprised look on his face. The caption was 

Frying pan? who said frying pan? Eggs? Maybe some scrambled eggs?

I'll be looking into this technical problem with the hopes of getting it resolved as quickly as possible.

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

‘Item, She hath a sweet mouth.’

 

Speed

The Two Gentlemen of Verona     Act III Scene i, Line 320

This is an odd little scene with Speed and Launce. These guys are listed in the cast of characters as clownish servants, so that should give you a heads up.

Launce has made a list of the virtues and vices of a maid that he is in love with. Now Speed is reading through that list. This item about a sweet mouth is listed in the vices section, so at first that seems a little puzzling. But the first vice is bad breath, and the second is a sweet mouth, to which Launce comments

That makes amends for her sour breath.

So, bad breath is a vice, and the sweet mouth is listed here to explain that there is an offset to it. The next one is that she talks in her sleep, but the one after that is that she is slow in her words, so I guess the sleep talking is not too bad. The list goes on, but you get the idea.

Item, she can’t sit in the passenger seat without telling me how to drive.
Item, she knows it bugs the heck out of me, so she tries really hard not to do it.

You should talk, Mr. Blagys. You’re constantly criticizing my driving.

Cut the chatter, and concentrate on the road, Mario. 

Who’s Mario?

Just drive, Mojo, just drive.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.

Antipholus of Ephesus

The Comedy of Errors          Act IV Scene i, Line 58

It’s more shenanigans in Comedy of Errors this morning. I’m not sure what the specifics are regarding the chain, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that Antipholus of Syracuse was given it because he was mistaken for Antipholus of Ephesus. Those crazy Antipholuses!

Antiph-a-who, now?

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I cry you mercy, then:

I took you for that cunning whore of Venice

That married with Othello. –You, mistress

That have the office opposite to Saint Peter,

And keep the gate of Hell!

  

Othello

Othello                    Act IV, Scene ii, Line 90

We’ve arrived at a point in the play where Othello has now been completely convinced by Iago’s machinations that Desdemona is having an affair with Cassio. She is not. He’s confronting her in this scene and has just asked her if she’s not a whore. Of course she denies it, and Today's Lines is his retort to her denial.

You can see by his rant, that Othello’s pretty much beyond reason at this point. I don’t think there’s anything Desdemona, or anyone else, can say that’s going to make him see the light. Poor guy. Poor girl! It’s a sorry, sorry situation, and it’s all the doing of that rat fink bastard Iago. It’s amazing to consider what some single human beings are capable of all on their own, isn’t it? Particularly scary in today's day and age. Try not to think about it, Pete. Try not to think about it. 

By the way, it never occurred to me that the offices of the gatekeepers of heaven and hell would be right across the hall from each other. I always pictured those offices as being right outside their respective realms and therefore nowhere near each other. But, oh well.

And that’s your takeaway, Pete? 

Well, it's better than thinking about that other thing.

This post reminded me of the time we went riding on the Linear Trail. All of a sudden Mojo starts belting out “Highway to Hell, we’re on the Highway to Hell!” at the top of his lungs. Boy, did we get some funny looks from people.

Come to think of it, I’m not sure if it was the choice of song or a singing dog that got the stares. I've told him time and again that he's got to watch the talking bit in public. Sometimes he just can't help himself.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I know I love in vain, strive against hope;

Yet in this captious and intenible sieve

I still pour in the waters of my love,

And lack not to lose still: thus Indian-like,

Religious in mine error, I adore

The sun, that looks upon his worshipper

But knows of him no more

Helena

All’s Well That Ends Well             Act I, Scene iii, Line 207

Helena is describing to the Countess how she loves the Countess’s son, even though she knows that she can never have him and he will never love her. In fact, the son is completely unaware of Helen and her love for him, and when he finds out about it he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. So it turns out that she’s right about the hopelessness of her love. Well at least they’re all on the same page.

I tried to look up captious and intenible. I got that captious is spacious, and I think intenible is just a different way of spelling untenable. But you pretty much get the idea of pouring anything into a sieve: the sieve’s not going to hold anything - it just goes right on through. We get a pretty good idea of what she’s talking about without the two modifiers of the word sieve.

Anyway, I like the seven lines. They are a good exercise in reading something that’s worth reading. I say that because so much of what we devote our attention to is not worth our attention. And so much of it does not even require the much needed mental exercise of reading and having to think about what we’re reading. Yes, it’s a good seven lines.

Don't give me that look Mojo, I've seen you scrolling endlessly on your iPhone. You could use to spend a little time reading some meaningful lines just as much as the rest of us. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Twice did he turn his back, and purposed so;

But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,

And nature, stronger than his just occasion,

Made him give battle to the lioness,

Who quickly fell before him: in which hurtling

From miserable slumber I awaked.

Oliver

As You Like It                Act IV, Scene iii, Line 132

Oliver is telling the story about how he was sleeping under a tree and a lion was about to attack him, but his brother Orlando happened to be walking by, and even though he thought about not doing anything, his kindness and good nature forced him to fight off the lion, at which point the slumbering Oliver woke up.

Now this rather fantastic story (which is accepted without any questioning) raises a number of questions (other than why it would be accepted without questioning). First and foremost, where the heck does a lion come from? But, I guess in the name of theatrics we can just let that one slide. And if we’re going to accept that a lion is possible, I guess we can also accept that Orlando can subdue the lion with his bare hands. Sure.

Fantastic or not though, this story reminds me of a personal experience with lions laying in wait to attack. We were on safari in Botswana (no, really, we were. I know that sounds almost as fantastical as Oliver’s story, but we were actually on safari in Africa), and it was an observational safari, not a hunting safari. One day we were out with our guide driving around and we came across a herd (I think herd is the right word) of zebras (pronounced zeb-ra, not zee-bra) on the airstrip. We were sitting still watching them and the guide pointed out a lion in the brush on the opposite side of the runway. Then we drove around the herd to the other end of the runway, to the other side, and we saw three or four lions. So we pulled up on the other side, at the other end, and we weren’t too far from one of the lions crouching in wait. We stopped and parked, just waiting to see what happened next. The lion near us, not too near but not too far, looked over at us and I swear he gave us this look that said, “you guys better not screw us out of our dinner here.” Well, we didn’t but then something else did. I forget what it was, but some other animal got wind of the lions and spooked the herd, and they all took off. We learned from our guide that lions don’t chase, they wait and pounce when their prey is very close. The zebras never got close enough.

So I thought about that when I read Will’s words about the lion

Lay crouching, head on ground, with catlike watch.

That line was a few lines up from Today’s Totally Random Line.

Now I don’t mean to sound like a know it all, but that’s a really good description of the lion that we were watching, which raises the question, how the heck did Will know what a crouching lion would look like.

So, that’s the thought I’m leaving you with today (assuming you haven’t already left me, seeing how long and rambling this post has been): How the heck would Will know what a crouching lion looked like?

I couldn’t find a pic of that crouching lion, but this is the herd on the runway that I was talking about.

Yes Mojo, I see: you’re crouching and waiting for rabbits. Yes, yes, you are just like a lion. I almost thought you were one for a minute.

Oh yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Uh huh. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Here is the number of the slaughter’d French.

                                           [Delivers a paper]

Herald

King Henry the Fifth             Act IV, Scene viii, Line 75

Okay, so we’re at the battle of Agincourt, or rather the aftermath of it. The rest of this scene is a detailing of how the Brits absolutely slaughtered the Frenchies at this battle, over ten thousand of them killed. That’s what’s on the paper that the herald is delivering to King Henry. Oh, I think Will might be exaggerating the numbers a little bit for dramatic effect, but it was a really one-sided victory for the Brits, and one that they like to remember to this day, six hundred years later.

I can’t help wonder, especially as I get older, at the sheer…I’m trying to think of the right word here, but it’s hard… the sheer stupidity of war. Stupidity is not nearly as strong a word as I’m looking for. No matter which way I think about it, I can’t make any sense of it. None. Take this battle: a handful of leaders got killed, and over ten thousand ordinary guys - ten thousand! Those are guys who’d rather be tending their fields, or repairing shoes, or bouncing a baby or their knee, or whatever. They didn’t want the war. And it’s always the same. The horrors of war are played out on them, on us: not on the people who lead us into wars. It’s just a really, really, really messed up concept, and yet one that is still perfectly accepted after all these millennia.

What a piece of work is man. Hamlet says that in a different play, and then goes on to talk about the greatness of man: in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, and so on. And yet, he says finally, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me, no.

Hamlet's not talking about the contradiction of war within the framework of man, but just the same, this is exactly how I feel when I think about it. Man has such divine make-up and capabilities, and yet... Agincourt, Vietnam, Gaza, etc., etc., etc., etc. The list goes on and on - never ending. The contradiction just does not make sense.

You’re right, Mr. Blagys, you’re right. I wish I had an explanation for you, but I don’t. 

Thanks, Mojo. Thanks for understanding.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sir,

He is with Caesar.

 

Soldier

Antony and Cleopatra            Act IV, Scene v, Line 8

This is one of those metric lines that’s split up between more than one speaker. Mark Antony and one of his soldiers are discussing the fact that someone has deserted and gone over to Caesar’s side, and Antony asks, who?

Soldier

One ever near thee: Call for Enobarbus,

He shall not hear thee; or from Caesar’s camp

Say ‘I am none of thine.’

Mark Antony

What say’st thou?

Soldier

Sir,

He is with Caesar.

 

See? What do you think? You don’t care? You don’t care about looking how one line of iambic pentameter is split up between two speakers? And it is a perfect line of iambic pentameter

Say I/ am none/ of thine/ what say’st/ thou sir.

See?

You still don't care, do you. Well, forget about the iambic pentameter, how about that Antony’s most trusted right-hand man, Enobarbus, has gone over to Caesar’s side?

You still don't care, do you?

They don't care, Mojo. They just don't care!

Ughh!  Cretins!!

He's flabbergasted.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

‘Tis well, ‘tis well: no more.

 

Page

The Merry Wives of Windsor         Act IV, Scene iv, Line 10

What I gave you above is actually the second part of line 10. The first part, starting a few lines earlier, is spoken by Ford:

                                 Henceforth do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold

Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand

In him that was of late an heretic

As firm as faith.

 

                                ‘Tis well, ‘tis well; no more:

 

So I guess Ford was assuring Page that he thinks well of him, and Page is accepting that thought. Well that's nice. 

No Mojo, of course I would never suspect you of wantonness. 

But let's be honest here; you have no idea what wantonness is, do you?

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

It is not lost; but what an if it were?

Desdemona

Othello            Act III, Scene iv, Line 82

The subject here is a handkerchief that Othello (jealous husband) gave as a gift to Desdemona (innocent wife). Iago (dirty rat fink) has convinced Othello that Desdemona gave this hanky to Cassio (completely innocent bystander in this whole mess), the guy that Iago is saying is having an affair with Othello’s wife.

Now the subject of the hanky has come up and Desdemona can’t seem to produce it. Othello accuses her of losing it, and that’s when she comes up with today’s line. She keeps trying to change the subject back to Cassio, who she is trying to put in a good word for with Othello. Well, that’s not going to help.

Oh the trouble that a silly little hanky can cause!

Wow, that's a really good Rat Fink Iago face, Mojo. You nailed it... Hey, wait a minute! Are you eating the hanky!? That's a prop, Mojo, you're not supposed to eat it! 

Oh Mojo!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father, and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.

 

Juliet

Romeo And Juliet          Act II, Scene i, Line 75

Well, there you have it. Today’s Totally Random Line picked totally randomly. I suppose we were bound to hit this, or maybe To be, or not to be, sooner or later. Well, today is that sooner or later, so should we take a look?

Remember, wherefore means why, it has nothing to do with where. Why are you Romeo, she’s asking. Actually, she doesn’t really have a problem with the name Romeo so much; it’s his last name of Montague that’s the kicker. It’s just another case of two factions, in this case families, that hate each other just because of which faction they’re born into. That should resonate, unless you’re living under a rock somewhere. But of course, in this story Will has these two lovers rising above the ridiculousness of factional hate, so at least that’s nice. Well, it doesn't really work out all that well, but let's not go there right now.

I'm not sure what else to say about this famous, totally random line. I guess maybe nothing, other...

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

As soon as Mr. Ham-it-up heard that we were doing Romeo and Juliet he decided he wanted to act out his favorite scene.

No, no Mojo, wherefore art thou doing the scene at the end of the play where Romeo goes belly up. You're on the wrong scene!

Oh well, I guess it's the only part he knows. What a piece of work this guy is.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

In thy foul throat thou liest: Queen Margaret saw

Thy murderous falchion (sword) smoking in his blood;

The which thou once didst bend against her breast,

But that thy brothers beat aside the point.

 

 

Lady Anne

King Richard the Third            Act I, Scene ii, Line 93

Yes, there’s a lot of this type of talk in the play King Richard the Third. And certainly much of it involves, in one way or another, Richard. In the case of today’s line, it is he who is being accused by Lady Anne of killing her husband. This is the scene where Richard talks Anne into marrying him, even though Anne is right: Richard did kill her husband. Strange times, eh?

It’s hard to say just how much Will fictionalized and sensationalized the actual historical facts in the process of writing this play. It's a little hard to fathom a fellow being able to successfully seduce a woman just a few minutes after she confronts him about killing her husband. But remember, Will's job was to fill theaters, not lecture as a history professor. It’s a known fact that he got the basic stories right in his history plays, but it’s also a known fact that he took a lot of liberties with the details. Richard the Third is remembered historically as being a reasonably rotten guy, but in recent years his history has been rewritten a little by modern day historians who’ve taken a second look, and question whether history might have given him a bad rap, helped on a bit by Will’s famous portrayal of him. It's hard to tell exactly who’s got the story right. But it did make for a good play. Some considered King Richard the Third Will’s breakthrough play, the one that first put him on the map in his day.

By the way, I put the word sword in parentheses so that you would know what a falchion was as you read the line. I’ve not previously done this, but it seems like a good way to help make the line easier to understand as it’s being read, instead of giving you the explanation afterwards. So I think I might adopt this method going forward. Just know that whenever you see a word in parentheses that it’s my word being inserted, not something that Will wrote. 

 

 

Our titular hero literally fell asleep on my wrist as I was typing today’s Mojo, The Bard, And Me.

Perhaps I should take that as a sign?