And of women.

 

-Bardolph

 

King Henry the Fifth       Act II, scene iii     Line 33

Well folks, believe it or not this is the third time that we have arrived at page 493 of my compilation. That’s right, Henry the Fifth. So far on this one page we’ve sampled the end of Act II, Scene ii where Henry is sending some guys to their death (9/16 post), and the beginning of Scene iii where a bunch of Falstaff’s friends are in the bar talking about the recent death of Falstaff (9/26 post). And today we’re back in the bar in that same conversation about Falstaff.

They’re talking about Falstaff’s last minutes and they’re saying that he cried that he was out of liquor and out of women. Hostess, who was there with Falstaff at the end, certifies the liquor claim, but denies the women claim. Boy (remember Boy from the 9/26 post?) disputes this and says he did cry that he was out of women and that women were ‘devils incarnate’. So I’m not exactly sure who was there at Falstaff’s end, Hostess, boy, or both, but whoever was there, did Falstaff cry out for women at the end, or not? We have conflicting reports and how appropriate of Will to do this to us. Does this guy ever just give us the straight scoop and make it easy or does he always have to make us work at it

However, the bigger question in my mind is not how Falstaff died, but why. That is to say, why did Will kill him off? From everything I’ve read about him, Falstaff was one of Will’s most memorable characters. In fact he later created a whole play just around Falstaff. Again, I don’t know that play so I’m not sure how he went about resurrecting Falstaff. But why kill him off in the first place if he was so popular? Oh, the mysteries of Will.

Here’s a pic of Falstaff from my A.L. Rowse book. There’s a bunch of pics of different actors portraying Falstaff, and they all show a large, somewhat comical looking gent, almost always with a drink in his hand.

What country, friends, is this?

-Viola   

Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will            Act I, scene ii        Line 1

And yes, today we certainly have ventured into new country. And this country is Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will. We’ve not been here before in any of our posts, and I can also say that I’ve not been here before in any of my reading. That is to say, I’m quite unfamiliar with this play. I say that a lot, don’t I? I think it’s about time that I add a new play to my repertoire. I’ve completed the borrow and burn project so I now have the Arkangel audio copy of all thirty-six plays from the First Folio, plus Pericles and The Two Noble Kinsmen on my PC. So I can read and listen to anything I want. I was going to work my way through the histories, but perhaps I’ll start with one of the comedies. We’ll see. But for now, the line…

Well apparently this is a comedy and it involves a lot of shenanigans. And this play opens with the famous line (only a few inches away from today’s Totally Random line) ‘If music be the food of love, play on;’  I didn’t even realize that line was Shakespeare! But we can’t spend our time on that one because it’s not today’s Totally Random line. Almost, but not quite. And I’m also not going to spend time on much context, since I don’t know it and also since not much has happened yet to make up much context (It’s the first line of Act I, Scene ii).

So what does the line tell us? It’s precluded in the text by Scene II, The sea-cost and Enter Viola, Captain, and Sailors, and followed by the Captain’s reply ‘This is Illyria, lady’. There, that’s all I’m giving you for context.  So she’s standing on a ship’s deck, or perhaps on the beach or a dock, and she doesn’t know where she is. She doesn’t seem too agitated or distressed based on how she’s asking the question. It’s not like ‘Where the hell are we?!?’ Though I don’t think Will ever used that much punctuation in one sentence. But she seems pretty calm, addressing those around her as ‘friends’.  And yet, that’s got to be a strange (disconcerting?) feeling. What country is this? Where the heck am I? Have you ever been in that position? Usually when you’re somewhere completely new you at least know where you are because you planned to be there. But did you ever end up somewhere and have no idea whatsoever where you are? I’ve been around a bit, and I’ve been in places that were new and strange to me. But I’ve always known where I was going. I can’t ever remember ending up somewhere and saying to the people around me, where the heck am I? What is this place? That’s got to be strange. Perhaps she was saying ‘friends’ because she was so unsettled by the experience that she needed to convince the captain and the sailors, and certainly herself, that she was among friends.

What country, friends, is this? Hey, how about this for an idea: The next time you walk into a conference room and find yourself in a meeting full of people and charts that you weren’t expecting, and perhaps the entire meeting just wasn't what you were expecting it to be (and this is a situation that I actually have been in) look around and say out loud, ‘What meeting, friends, is this?’ I think the 'friends' part of that sentence will go a long way towards getting a friendly answer. Try it out and let me know.

My friend was a little out of place here. We were in the city of X’ian, at the Wild Goose Pagoda when all of a sudden he found himself being recruited for some pictures with the locals, some guys he’d never seen before. He should have said ‘What group picture, friends, is this?’

Caesar and Antony have ever won

More in their officer than person.

-Ventidius

Antony and Cleopatra   Act III, scene i      Line 17

Before I start with today’s Totally Random line can I just say that I realize that you can make some pretty good arguments for why this Totally Random thing that I’m doing is a bit screwy. And maybe it is, but there’s one thing I’d like to say in defense of it. This process makes me look at lines, and sections, that I (and maybe no one else) would otherwise never have keyed in on. And if there’s one thing we’ve come to realize over the past four hundred years it’s that there really isn’t much of anything in Will’s works that’s extemporaneous. It all has meaning, you just have to look for it. I don’t know where I came up with this Totally Random idea, but I’ve been doing it now for eighty-four straight days and I don’t see any signs of stopping. I’m not proud…

And that leads me to today’s line and scene. It’s a short scene with two guys who don’t figure much in this play. Ventidius is one of Antony’s generals and he was sent by Antony to fight the battle in Parthia. Ventidius has fought that battle and won and now his buddy Silius is advising him to go after the routed enemy and make an even greater victory. But Ventidius explains to Silius that he’s not going to do this for fear of accomplishing too much and by doing so showing up Marc Antony. Ventidius is a cagey old soldier and well knows that he has to know his place. He knows that guys like himself are what makes Caesar and Antony great. And this is an important, and well worth noting, point. And it reminds me of a personal story.

When I was first getting started in accounting I was working for a big firm (Big 8 at the time, now it’s Big 4). My manager told me something one day that has stuck with me all these years. He looked at me and said “Your job is to make me look good.” Well my first thought was, ‘Yeah, I don’t think so, buddy!’ But I realized after thinking about it how true that statement is. It was true then, and it’s always been true. And Ventidius knows it too. His job as a subordinate is to make Antony look good. And that’s how Antony, Caesar, George Washington, Admiral Nelson, and all those other great leaders succeeded. They had very capable people, like Ventidius, beneath them. Of course, not all the Ventidius’s of the world know this. But this one does.

This is my only souvenir of my days back in Big Eight accounting. No, it doesn't really have anything to do with making my manager look good. It's a lock that I had to have cut off the briefcase with the work papers in it because I got to the client and realized I'd left the key home. Luckily I was at a client that had a mechanic's shop and that my manager wasn't there that day. So he had no idea that I wasn't making him look particularly good, and that he wasn't winning more in his officer that day.

These good fellows will bring thee where I

am. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern hold

their course for England: Of them I have

much to tell thee.

 

-Horatio (reading a letter written by Hamlet)

 

Hamlet                 Act IV, scene vi   Line 27

What Hamlet has to tell Horatio of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is that they are as good as dead. Yes friends, we’re back to Hamlet, where just about everyone ends up dying. Well, not Horatio. He’s one of the lucky few.

So it’s been a while since I’ve seen or read Hamlet and I’d completely forgotten about Hamlet’s little adventure on the high seas. Now we don’t actually have any scenes in this play taking place at sea like we do in The Tempest and Pericles,  so we don’t get that line about ‘assisting the storm’ (see 10/26 post). In Hamlet we just hear about what happened on the ship via this letter to Horatio. And what happened was that Claudius sent Hamlet to England with these two characters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern as his guardians. Claudius also sent a note with R&G asking the folks in England to kill Hamlet. Neither R&G nor Hamlet knew the contents of the note initially. But there’s a whole kerfuffle with pirates, and somehow Hamlet gets his hands on the note. Well he changes the note so that it asking the English to kill R&G (this very much unbeknownst to R&G), and he gets away from the pirates and R&G and heads back to Denmark. So now R&G are headed to England without Hamlet and with a note telling the Brits to kill them. So that should be amusing for the Brits. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern will be handing a note to them from Claudius saying ‘Please kill these guys handing you the note.’ And who says Will didn’t have a sense of humor?

This is a pic of me and my sister and my cousin when we were kids acting out the scene from Hamlet where Hamlet goes to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Jimmy and Jean (left and center) are R&G, but I can’t remember which one was which, and I’m not sure what the thought process was behind the costumes. The sandbox behind us is the boat, and that’s me playing Hamlet on the right. You can see I’m holding the letter in my hand, and I’m going for that part-confused, part-mad-as-hell look. You know, sort of half way between Olivier and Branagh. I think I really nailed it. What do you think?

For no ill will I bear you.

-Phebe

 

As You Like It                     Act III, scene iv    Line 69

Well today we’re back to one of Will’s scenes with the woman pretending to be a man (again, if you count the actor playing the role of the woman, it’s a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man). In this case it is the country girl Phebe falling instantly in love with Rosalind, the latter being disguised as the young fellow named Ganymede. But of course Rosiland/Ganymede has no feelings for Phebe because she’s not gay and is only interested in men, and in particular in Orlando. So this raises an interesting question; is Will attempting, in his inimitable cagey fashion, to address gayness in 1600 England? Let’s be clear on a few items. First, I’m not historically savvy enough to know much of anything about gay society in 1600 England, but I’d have to guess that it’s not exactly an open thing. Second, Will spent quite a bit of time having various female roles masquerading as men, and in many of these cases it was pretty clear that the sexual orientation question was not on the table (consider Portia/Balthazar in Merchant Of Venice). However, the wordplay and the scenario in this particular scene lends itself to this question of whether or not he’s trying to address gayness. Phebe appears to be head over heels with Ganymede/Rosalind. So I put it to you; Is Will bringing up the matter of gay women or gayness in general, and if he is, what’s he saying about it? In this scene Rosalind realizes that Phebe is interested in her and is doing everything she can to dissuade her. But she’s having a tough time of it. In the meantime Phebe has a man after her, but she seems to want no part of this fellow as she pursues Ganymede/Rosalind. So what gives?

For no ill will I bear you. That’s what infatuated Phebe is saying to Ganymede/Rosalind. Is Will talking here? Is he saying that he’s perfectly accepting of women who are attracted to other women (even if she is dressed as a man)? Well, what do you think?

In the interest of fair disclosure, and to recognize Halloween (which I’m pretty sure was not being celebrated as a costume holiday in Will’s time), here’s a pic of two young ladies I know. I believe I had something to do with the older one’s costume which is her being dressed up as a guy (I can't take any credit for the little cheeseburger LT, that was Aunt Nancy's doing). And I’m pretty sure I wasn’t trying to make any kind of a statement about gayness at the time, so maybe I’m just completely off base with my line of thinking about Will above. Oh, and this pic is pretty old, about twenty years or so, but apparently you can’t dress as a hobo anymore because it’s insensitive. So, sorry about that.

Nay, then I’ll stop your mouth. --- Bring

thou her husband:

-Chiron

Titus Andronicus                              Act II, scene iii     Line 185

Today I’m keeping it short, and I’m tempted, and not for the first time, to toss the Totally Random thing and go back to yesterday’s play, Othello. Yes, there’s a bunch of bad stuff to come in that one, but Good Michael, look you to the guard tonight. It’s such a simple line and the Good Michael is just so lovely.

But we'll move to today’s line. To be clear, Chiron is talking to Lavinia, telling her he’s going to shut her up, and then telling his brother to bring over the dead body of Lavinia’s husband. Oh, and what was Lavinia talking about that Chiron wants to shut her up? Lavinia was pleading with Chiron’s mother Tamora to kill her instead of letting Tamora’s two son’s Chiron and Demetrius rape her. No, Tamora’s not going to be stopping them. She’s cheering them on. And for the record, Chiron’s going to stop her mouth (after they rape her) by cutting out her tongue. Oh and they’ll cut off her hands for good measure. Sweet Jesus, give me ‘Good Michael’ any day!

Okay, this is pretty random, but I wanted to put a picture of something good, and completely apart from today's Totally Random line. This is about the best book I ever read, and I remember the first time I read it almost fifty years ago.

Good Michael, look you to the guard tonight:

-Othello

Othello                 Act II, scene ii      Line 1

Okay, the first thing I have to talk about, and something that I don’t remember at all from when I studied this play ten years ago is the name Michael. Cassio’s name is Michael Cassio. There’s Othello, and Iago, and Rodrigo, and a bunch of other one name guys, and then there’s Michael Cassio. How does this guy rate two names? It reminds me a little of Michael Corleone. It’s a very nice name though. All the other guys sound like they belong living in 16^th century Venice, which is appropriate. But Michael Cassio? That sounds like someone I might have gone to high school with. Now I forget what happens to Mr. Cassio, but I’m thinking it can’t be good. Iago makes such a mess of things that just about everyone is either targeted or just collateral damage. Ah wait, remember? Back on our 8/31 post. That was from Act V and the rat Iago stabs Cassio there. But I’m not sure if Michael dies or not. I’m hoping not because I’m really feeling good about Mr. Cassio. Guess we’ll have to get back to that one.

Good Michael, look you to the guard tonight. It’s a very pleasant demeanor displayed by our tragic hero Othello in this line. He’s a good guy that Othello. In fact, as I recall pretty much everyone in this play is a pretty decent. Except for that one trouble maker Iago. He is not a decent fellow and he makes trouble for just about everyone up to the very end of the play. And nobody picks up on it. How is that possible? Just five lines down from today’s Totally Random line is Othello saying “Iago is most honest.” Really!?!

But getting back to Will’s good guys and bad guys, and the ones we’re not sure about. Well I think we’re pretty sure about this guy Iago from the giddyup. No, the other folks in the play are fooled. But we the audience, we know pretty much from the start that this guy is just plain evil. Almost to the point where we want to yell to the other actors on the stage and warn them. I wonder if anyone ever did? Maybe the groundlings? I guess we’ll never know.

In the meantime, let’s let this be our take away. Let’s try to address someone today prefixing it with ‘good’. Wait, I just realized something; this is going to work much better with some names than others. You need a name with the accent on the first syllable, like Michael. Good Peter, Good William, Good Walker… these all work. Good Patrice, not so much. So assuming you can find someone with a good name, give it a try. Nothing fancy…

Good Walker, can you hand me that book over there.

Good William, how was your day.

See how it works. I’m thinking people will like being addressed as ‘good’. And if you can make someone happy with something as simple as this, why not do it? What do you say, good reader?

I met a fellow named Michael from Ukraine this afternoon. He was a salesman helping us in a furniture store. As we were leaving I said 'Good Michael, thank you very much.'