In very brief, the suit is impertinent to

myself, as your worship shall know by this

honest old man: and, though I say it,

though old man, yet poor man, my father.

 

-Launcelot Gobbo

 

The Merchant Of Venice              Act II, scene ii      Line 137

This is a pretty interesting scene. And an exceedingly interesting name of this character: Launcelot Gobbo. Launcelot is listed as a clown, servant to Shylock. So once again we have a clown. But this one is not specifically a court jester. In fact, I don’t think he’s officially a ‘clown’. I think he’s officially a ‘servant’ the ‘clown’ listing serving to describe him more than anything. Shylock being a private citizen and money lender it seems unlikely that he would be hiring the services of a jester. At least that’s what I think. I don’t actually know for sure.

But official or unofficial clown, giving him the name of Launcelot is intriguing. Lancelot is of course is the name of a renowned knight of King Arthur’s court. King Arthur’s Lancelot was not a clown. He was as far from a clown as you could get. So what’s Will’s comment here? What’s he saying about Launcelot Gobbo, the clownish servant, by giving him the name of King Arthur’s knight? I don’t know the answer to this question, but I’m sure Will was up to something.  Often times he uses his clowns to spout truths, making them the smartest people in the play. Is he making this one the most gallant? The bravest? Well I’m not seeing it.

In any event, in the beginning of this scene Launcelot is having an argument with himself, an argument between his own devil whispering in one ear and his own angel whispering in the other. It’s sort of like the scene in Animal House where the girl passes out on Pinto in his dorm room. Except in this case there’s not a tiny little angel and devil appearing on Launcelot Gobbo’s shoulder, because it’s a play. In this case Launcelot just talks us through the argument, taking both sides. The argument is whether or not Launcelot Gobbo should run away from his master, Shylock. And while he’s arguing with himself, his father, Old Gobbo, shows up. Launcelot tells his father what he’s considering, and then Bassanio shows up. At that point young and old Gobbo try to talk Bassanio into taking Launcelot into his service. In fact, the two Gobbo’s are leading up to this question when Launcelot speaks today’s Totally Random line to Bassanio. You kind of have to read the several lines leading up to this line, or better yet the whole scene, to understand the context of this one line. And you need to understand that Launcelot Gobbo has both a really funny way of talking and a manner of rambling on and on and using as many words as possible to say as little as possible. That’s what he’s doing with today’s line. In fact, by prefacing this sentence with ‘in very brief’, Launcelot is doing a ‘Tony Long-story-short’ thing (The Tony thing will be explained in the 11/11 post, you’ll have to wait), because he’s not being brief at all, in fact quite the opposite. Hah, I just caught that! That Will is a real pistol!

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have a goody-two-shoes whispering in one ear and a…well, not-so-good-guy whispering in the other.

If thou do this, I’ll show thee wondrous things.

 

-Aaron

 

Titus Andronicus                              Act V, scene i       Line 55

Okay, let’s not be fooled! I know, this sounds like it’s a line that’s leading us to good things. Not so. Look at what play it’s from. Look at the speaker. We’ve had three lines from this play already, one of them by Aaron. Have any of them portended anything good? No. Will this one? No. So don’t get your hopes up.

On the other hand, if you’d like, we can take this line completely out of context and just work with the words given. Yes, we could do that because, remember, the only rule that we are bound by in working with these lines: There are no rules. Yes, I stole that form Rat Race, one of my favorite movies of all time. But it’s true. Did Will work by any rules? No, not really. And that’s how he was able to come up with this fabulous stuff, these wondrous things.

Oh fiddlesticks. I can’t do that. The wondrous things that Aaron’s talking about… well wait, first things first. The If thou do this that he’s talking about is if they don’t kill his infant son. So he’s trying to prevent yet another murder, this one infanticide. But at least for once he’s trying to prevent a murder. And the wondrous things he’ll show them? He’s not actually going to show them anything, he’s going to tell them stuff. He’s going to tell about murders, rapes, and massacres, Acts of black night, abominable deeds, complots of mischief, treason, villainies ruthful to hear, yet piteously performed. His words, not mine. Yes, that’s the wondrous things. Gives you pause to think what Aaron’s definition of the word wondrous is, doesn’t it?

So where does that leave us? Scratching our heads, I should say, and wondering how Will could have written a play so completely full of horrible stuff. Is there even just one scene in this play that doesn’t involve some of these wondrous things? It doesn’t appear so. Well, at least he’s consistent.

Tarzan won't come down when we're doing a line from Titus anymore. He hides up in the ceiling joists. Can you see him up there? Wait, here's a close up.

I can't get him anywhere near my desk. This stuff from Titus just freaks him out.

Beseech you sir, be merry; you have cause,

So have we all, of joy;

-Gonzalo

The Tempest      Act II, scene i       Line 1

Ahhh, The Tempest again. And a very upbeat and optimistic line.

This is the first line of Act II where the king’s group, who were being tossed about at sea in the first act, find themselves safe and sound on Prospero’s island. Gonzalo, ever the optimist, is talking about how lucky they are to have survived. His little speech, which goes on for a bit, is partly an attempt to cheer up King Alonso who is a bit out of sorts because his son, Ferdinand, is missing and he’s worried that he’s drowned. Of course if we’ve gotten through Act I, we know that’s not the case as Ferdinand has found himself onto the island separately and has already met Prospero and Miranda. One thing I have to say about this play is that it doesn’t seem to have that Three’s Company scenarios of people pretending to be someone they’re not, and other people acting on misinformation/misconceptions. This play is much more straightforward. And no severed heads.

So this is a very uplifting line. And it’s really a thought that we should all be living with constantly.

Yes, you’re having trouble with that job search. But the house is paid off and your wife has a good job so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, you’ve got a pile of homework to do. But you’re getting an education that can prepare you to live a good life, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, the dog peed on my book and ruined it, but it’s only a book, and I can get a new one if I want, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy.

Yes, it’s true, you’re thinking that this blog post is tedious and boring, but it’s almost over, so you have cause, so have we all, of joy

Bottom line: Be thankful! If for no other reason, you’ll find that being thankful makes it a lot harder to be feeling angry, resentful, or otherwise bad. Trust me, it’s true!

Self explanatory

And of women.

 

-Bardolph

 

King Henry the Fifth       Act II, scene iii     Line 33

Well folks, believe it or not this is the third time that we have arrived at page 493 of my compilation. That’s right, Henry the Fifth. So far on this one page we’ve sampled the end of Act II, Scene ii where Henry is sending some guys to their death (9/16 post), and the beginning of Scene iii where a bunch of Falstaff’s friends are in the bar talking about the recent death of Falstaff (9/26 post). And today we’re back in the bar in that same conversation about Falstaff.

They’re talking about Falstaff’s last minutes and they’re saying that he cried that he was out of liquor and out of women. Hostess, who was there with Falstaff at the end, certifies the liquor claim, but denies the women claim. Boy (remember Boy from the 9/26 post?) disputes this and says he did cry that he was out of women and that women were ‘devils incarnate’. So I’m not exactly sure who was there at Falstaff’s end, Hostess, boy, or both, but whoever was there, did Falstaff cry out for women at the end, or not? We have conflicting reports and how appropriate of Will to do this to us. Does this guy ever just give us the straight scoop and make it easy or does he always have to make us work at it

However, the bigger question in my mind is not how Falstaff died, but why. That is to say, why did Will kill him off? From everything I’ve read about him, Falstaff was one of Will’s most memorable characters. In fact he later created a whole play just around Falstaff. Again, I don’t know that play so I’m not sure how he went about resurrecting Falstaff. But why kill him off in the first place if he was so popular? Oh, the mysteries of Will.

Here’s a pic of Falstaff from my A.L. Rowse book. There’s a bunch of pics of different actors portraying Falstaff, and they all show a large, somewhat comical looking gent, almost always with a drink in his hand.

What country, friends, is this?

-Viola   

Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will            Act I, scene ii        Line 1

And yes, today we certainly have ventured into new country. And this country is Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will. We’ve not been here before in any of our posts, and I can also say that I’ve not been here before in any of my reading. That is to say, I’m quite unfamiliar with this play. I say that a lot, don’t I? I think it’s about time that I add a new play to my repertoire. I’ve completed the borrow and burn project so I now have the Arkangel audio copy of all thirty-six plays from the First Folio, plus Pericles and The Two Noble Kinsmen on my PC. So I can read and listen to anything I want. I was going to work my way through the histories, but perhaps I’ll start with one of the comedies. We’ll see. But for now, the line…

Well apparently this is a comedy and it involves a lot of shenanigans. And this play opens with the famous line (only a few inches away from today’s Totally Random line) ‘If music be the food of love, play on;’  I didn’t even realize that line was Shakespeare! But we can’t spend our time on that one because it’s not today’s Totally Random line. Almost, but not quite. And I’m also not going to spend time on much context, since I don’t know it and also since not much has happened yet to make up much context (It’s the first line of Act I, Scene ii).

So what does the line tell us? It’s precluded in the text by Scene II, The sea-cost and Enter Viola, Captain, and Sailors, and followed by the Captain’s reply ‘This is Illyria, lady’. There, that’s all I’m giving you for context.  So she’s standing on a ship’s deck, or perhaps on the beach or a dock, and she doesn’t know where she is. She doesn’t seem too agitated or distressed based on how she’s asking the question. It’s not like ‘Where the hell are we?!?’ Though I don’t think Will ever used that much punctuation in one sentence. But she seems pretty calm, addressing those around her as ‘friends’.  And yet, that’s got to be a strange (disconcerting?) feeling. What country is this? Where the heck am I? Have you ever been in that position? Usually when you’re somewhere completely new you at least know where you are because you planned to be there. But did you ever end up somewhere and have no idea whatsoever where you are? I’ve been around a bit, and I’ve been in places that were new and strange to me. But I’ve always known where I was going. I can’t ever remember ending up somewhere and saying to the people around me, where the heck am I? What is this place? That’s got to be strange. Perhaps she was saying ‘friends’ because she was so unsettled by the experience that she needed to convince the captain and the sailors, and certainly herself, that she was among friends.

What country, friends, is this? Hey, how about this for an idea: The next time you walk into a conference room and find yourself in a meeting full of people and charts that you weren’t expecting, and perhaps the entire meeting just wasn't what you were expecting it to be (and this is a situation that I actually have been in) look around and say out loud, ‘What meeting, friends, is this?’ I think the 'friends' part of that sentence will go a long way towards getting a friendly answer. Try it out and let me know.

My friend was a little out of place here. We were in the city of X’ian, at the Wild Goose Pagoda when all of a sudden he found himself being recruited for some pictures with the locals, some guys he’d never seen before. He should have said ‘What group picture, friends, is this?’

Caesar and Antony have ever won

More in their officer than person.

-Ventidius

Antony and Cleopatra   Act III, scene i      Line 17

Before I start with today’s Totally Random line can I just say that I realize that you can make some pretty good arguments for why this Totally Random thing that I’m doing is a bit screwy. And maybe it is, but there’s one thing I’d like to say in defense of it. This process makes me look at lines, and sections, that I (and maybe no one else) would otherwise never have keyed in on. And if there’s one thing we’ve come to realize over the past four hundred years it’s that there really isn’t much of anything in Will’s works that’s extemporaneous. It all has meaning, you just have to look for it. I don’t know where I came up with this Totally Random idea, but I’ve been doing it now for eighty-four straight days and I don’t see any signs of stopping. I’m not proud…

And that leads me to today’s line and scene. It’s a short scene with two guys who don’t figure much in this play. Ventidius is one of Antony’s generals and he was sent by Antony to fight the battle in Parthia. Ventidius has fought that battle and won and now his buddy Silius is advising him to go after the routed enemy and make an even greater victory. But Ventidius explains to Silius that he’s not going to do this for fear of accomplishing too much and by doing so showing up Marc Antony. Ventidius is a cagey old soldier and well knows that he has to know his place. He knows that guys like himself are what makes Caesar and Antony great. And this is an important, and well worth noting, point. And it reminds me of a personal story.

When I was first getting started in accounting I was working for a big firm (Big 8 at the time, now it’s Big 4). My manager told me something one day that has stuck with me all these years. He looked at me and said “Your job is to make me look good.” Well my first thought was, ‘Yeah, I don’t think so, buddy!’ But I realized after thinking about it how true that statement is. It was true then, and it’s always been true. And Ventidius knows it too. His job as a subordinate is to make Antony look good. And that’s how Antony, Caesar, George Washington, Admiral Nelson, and all those other great leaders succeeded. They had very capable people, like Ventidius, beneath them. Of course, not all the Ventidius’s of the world know this. But this one does.

This is my only souvenir of my days back in Big Eight accounting. No, it doesn't really have anything to do with making my manager look good. It's a lock that I had to have cut off the briefcase with the work papers in it because I got to the client and realized I'd left the key home. Luckily I was at a client that had a mechanic's shop and that my manager wasn't there that day. So he had no idea that I wasn't making him look particularly good, and that he wasn't winning more in his officer that day.

These good fellows will bring thee where I

am. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern hold

their course for England: Of them I have

much to tell thee.

 

-Horatio (reading a letter written by Hamlet)

 

Hamlet                 Act IV, scene vi   Line 27

What Hamlet has to tell Horatio of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern is that they are as good as dead. Yes friends, we’re back to Hamlet, where just about everyone ends up dying. Well, not Horatio. He’s one of the lucky few.

So it’s been a while since I’ve seen or read Hamlet and I’d completely forgotten about Hamlet’s little adventure on the high seas. Now we don’t actually have any scenes in this play taking place at sea like we do in The Tempest and Pericles,  so we don’t get that line about ‘assisting the storm’ (see 10/26 post). In Hamlet we just hear about what happened on the ship via this letter to Horatio. And what happened was that Claudius sent Hamlet to England with these two characters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern as his guardians. Claudius also sent a note with R&G asking the folks in England to kill Hamlet. Neither R&G nor Hamlet knew the contents of the note initially. But there’s a whole kerfuffle with pirates, and somehow Hamlet gets his hands on the note. Well he changes the note so that it asking the English to kill R&G (this very much unbeknownst to R&G), and he gets away from the pirates and R&G and heads back to Denmark. So now R&G are headed to England without Hamlet and with a note telling the Brits to kill them. So that should be amusing for the Brits. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern will be handing a note to them from Claudius saying ‘Please kill these guys handing you the note.’ And who says Will didn’t have a sense of humor?

This is a pic of me and my sister and my cousin when we were kids acting out the scene from Hamlet where Hamlet goes to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Jimmy and Jean (left and center) are R&G, but I can’t remember which one was which, and I’m not sure what the thought process was behind the costumes. The sandbox behind us is the boat, and that’s me playing Hamlet on the right. You can see I’m holding the letter in my hand, and I’m going for that part-confused, part-mad-as-hell look. You know, sort of half way between Olivier and Branagh. I think I really nailed it. What do you think?