Tell Bolingbroke--for yond methinks he stands--
That every stride he makes upon my land
Is dangerous treason: he is come to open
The purple testament of bleeding war;
But ere the crown he looks for live in peace,
Ten thousand bloody crowns of mothers' sons
Shall ill become the flower of England's face,
Change the complexion of her maid-pale peace
To scarlet indignation and bedew
Her pastures' grass with faithful English blood.

-Richard

King Richard The Second                   Act III, Scene iii, Line 96

Be patient, princes; you do know, these fits
Are with his highness very ordinary.
Stand from him. Give him air; he'll straight be well.

-Warwick

King Henry The Fourth Part II           Act IV, Scene iv, Line 115

And since, on two successive days we have skipped, from the end of Richard’s reign to the end of his successor Henry’s reign, I’ve decided to bless you with two Totally Random lines today.

The first selection is King Richard talking about Bolingbroke (Henry IV) and the trouble that’s going to come of Bolingbroke’s actions to take Richard’s crown. And of course, Richard is right. Then, skipping forward, 'his highness' being referred to in today’s line is Bolingbroke again, but better known in today’s play as King Henry the Fourth. Do you suppose that tomorrow’s Totally Random line will be from the end of Henry the Fifth’s reign, and then Henry the Sixth? Given that there are 1,320 pages in the book that I’m picking from randomly, I’d have to say the odds are no.

Which leads me to another discussion: should we be changing the format so as to add some sort of continuity to Totally Random (almost) Daily Shakespeare? Don’t think that I haven’t considered it, because I have. Oh there’s several ways I could go. One that I’ve thought of is to take one play and stick to it for a month. Pick a random line from each successive page, or pick the pages randomly? There is a strong argument for maintaining some element or other of randomness. Hmmm. Well we’ll let that one go for now and perhaps we’ll get back to it at a later date.

Back to today's lines; now sometimes I have to agree with the teacher who said that it’s worth teaching kids Shakespeare just so that they get to hear his words, irrespective of whether they understand or appreciate them. Certainly, I’d like to see them understand and appreciate, but Will’s language is just so incomparable that it’s worthwhile just having these words heard.

…and bedew her pastures’ grass with faithful English blood.

And yet, there are so many people, most of us in fact, who just have no idea…

Then again, what of today’s line, about the ordinary fits of his highness. Well, in my humble opinion it does not stand with many other more notable lines. In fact, I don’t think it quite stands with yesterday’s line. But that’s okay, isn’t it? And if you want another one as striking as the Richard II line? Well…

Be patient, princes (and princesses).

Here's one of my favorite pastures. I've seen it bedewed in dew (redundant?), but I pray it never gets bedewed in blood, English, American, Lithuanian, or otherwise.

Your answer, sir, is enigmatical:

-Benedick

Much Ado About Nothing                   Act V, Scene iv, Line 27

Your answer, sir, is mysterious? It’s puzzling?

Is it puzzling how the pieces in the top picture can be put together to form the bottom figure. It should be because it's a puzzle.

O good Iago,

What shall I do to win my lord again?

-Desdemona   

Othello                         Act IV, Scene ii, Line 170

Okay, this is almost too much to deal with. Hold on, I’ve gotta go take a count.

Well I took a count and it seems that I was mistaken. I was going to tell you how many times already we had had reference to ‘good Iago’ or ‘honest Iago’ so far in our Totally Random lines. But wanna know how many? Zero. I don’t know what I was thinking. We’ve had lots of references, direct and indirect, of Iago’s rottenness, but nary a one line where he got referred to as good or honest. But we do now!

This is our twelfth visit to Othello in 264 days of picking Totally Random lines. Only As You Like It and Coriolanus, with thirteen and fifteen visits respectively have more. We’ve had Desdemona talking before, a few lines from Iago and plenty of references to Iago and his rottenness (we even made up a new word for him – Rattiest), but this is the first time that we’ve got one of the ‘Good’ or ‘Honest’ Iago lines. ‘Bout damn time. It seems like this is all I ever remember from my old days of studying this play. It was ‘good Iago’ this, and ‘honest Iago’ that. In fact, I’ll bet if I go back to the play and start from the beginning we’ll get one of these lines in the first hundred lines of the play. Hold that thought.

Okay, skip that thought. I went back and started from the beginning and was up to Act III and still hadn’t seen any sign of a ‘good’ or ‘honest’ Iago. Perhaps I just have some twisted memory of this play. O well, memory can be quite the teaser, can’t it? Maybe Iago had something to do with my twisted memory?

O good Iago!

I was trying to find something rotten or evil for today's picture, in honor of Iago, but I'm going to have to settle for creepy. Yes, this is a spider and I was face-timing with Nina so I showed her this picture and she assures me that this spider is creepy. How big is he? Well I can't tell you exactly how big, but I can tell you that I took this picture from my car. The spider was big enough that I noticed it while I was driving down the road, so I pulled over and took a picture from the drivers seat. So that's a pretty big spider and a bit creepy, so a good picture for an Iago post.

O good spider!

It is the bloody business which informs

Thus to mine eyes.

-Macbeth           

Macbeth                                              Act II, Scene i, Line 48

This here is a line from Macbeth’s famous ‘Is this a dagger…’ soliloquy. If you’re not familiar with it, well all you have to Google is ‘is this a d’ and Macbeth’s line is the first thing that comes up. In fact, type in ‘it is the bl’ and you’ll get all of today’s Totally Random line. So, yeah, it’s a well known speech, and we’ve actually picked a famous line for once. But I’ll lay it out for you anyway.

You don’t really need to know all the backstory (though it wouldn’t hurt); just know that Macbeth is on his way to murder the sleeping king (with a dagger). He’s in the hallway of the castle on the way to the sleeping king when he starts hallucinating about seeing a dagger. The 'Thus' in the line is the dagger that he's seeing and the 'bloody business' is the murder he's about to commit. Here’s the whole speech.

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going;
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' the other senses,
Or else worth all the rest; I see thee still, And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing:
It is the bloody business which informs
Thus to mine eyes. Now o'er the one halfworld
Nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse
The curtain'd sleep; witchcraft celebrates
Pale Hecate's offerings, and wither'd murder,
Alarum'd by his sentinel, the wolf,
Whose howl's his watch, thus with his stealthy pace,
With Tarquin's ravishing strides, towards his design
Moves like a ghost. Thou sure and firm-set earth,
Hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear
Thy very stones prate of my whereabout,
And take the present horror from the time,
Which now suits with it. Whiles I threat, he lives:
Words to the heat of deeds too cold breath gives.

You really should read this a few times. It won’t hurt you. But, wow, there’s a tough sentence in here. Check it out, it’s the sentence right after today’s Totally Random line, and it starts ‘Now o’er the one halfworld’ and ends with ‘moves like a ghost.’ The section before this sentence is all about the knife, and the sentence after is about sneaking up and killing the king. But what’s this middle sentence about? It’s a half mile long. The first part is about it being nighttime.

Now there’s quite a bit on this whole passage, and these lines in particular, in Prof. Garber’s Shakespeare After All. You could read that too. But she gets into some pretty, um what’s the word I’m looking for, some pretty in-depth stuff. And in-depth’s not really the word I’m looking for. But anyway, she talks about this being only the second time Macbeth has used the word ‘murder’ and how there’s significance that Will has made murder an entity rather than Macbeth’s act, and that there’s three or four lines between ‘murder’ and what murder does. Pretty esoteric, but of course it’s Shakespeare so you know there’s more there than meets the eye. And though I’m not always crazy about diving quite this deep on Will, I am always pleased to point out this quality of Will. This quality being that you can appreciate Will on whatever level you want, and if you want to appreciate him on the level that Prof Garber is working on, well go at it. It’s there.

Here's my dagger. Not much of a dagger really, but I do carry it with me most of the time. I carry it more for the bottle opener, scissor, and corkscrew than for the blade, and no, I’ve never had any hallucinations about my swiss army knife. None that I can remember.

All blest secrets,
All you unpublish'd virtues of the earth,
Spring with my tears! be aidant and remediate
In the good man's distress! Seek, seek for him;
Lest his ungovern'd rage dissolve the life
That wants the means to lead it.

-Cordelia

King Lear                               Act IV, Scene iv, Line 17

Yes, I know, it’s not just one line. But it’s Cordelia! This is a scene in the latter part of the play, not quite near the end yet. She’s talking about her father, Lear, of course. She knows that he’s been seen nearby and that he appears to be quite mad (crazy, not angry). And this is her form of a prayer for her father’s safekeeping.  And that’s all you need to know. Sweet Cordelia. Read the prayer again and let it sink in. Then maybe you’ll say to yourself, ‘sweet Cordelia’.

This is a prayer for a child that my sister-in-law has in her house. I've always loved this prayer. Sweet Betsy.

You are my father, for methinks in you

I see old Gaunt alive; O, then, my father,

Will you permit that I shall stand condemn'd

A wandering vagabond; my rights and royalties

Pluck'd from my arms perforce and given away

To upstart unthrifts?

  

-Henry Bolingbroke

King Richard The Second               Act II, Scene iii, Line 118

Well, I'll admit that today's line is a little long, but it’s not a tough line, so I don’t feel bad springing it on you.

This is Henry Bolingbroke talking to his uncle. Henry’s father was John of Gaunt, the Duke of Lancaster who died earlier in the play. Henry is talking to Edmund of Langley, who is the Duke of York and also John of Gaunt’s brother. And just to be clear (or perhaps to muddy it up a bit), the father of Richard the Second (the current King that Henry Bolingbroke will shortly be overthrowing) was another brother of John and Edmund. His name was Edward the Black Prince (no, he was a white guy; not sure where the name came from) and he died before he ever got to be king. But since The Black Prince was the first born of King Edward III, his son Richard the Second got to be king. And now we’ll be having Richard’s first cousin, Henry Bolingbroke, having something to say about the royal succession.  But back to the line.

Right now Henry is back in England after being banished by King Richard II, and he’s being confronted by Uncle York (Edmund), who was left in charge by Richard whilst the latter went to Ireland on business. Now Henry is calling Uncle Edmund ‘father’ because he says he reminds him of his dad ‘old Gaunt’. Henry tried calling his uncle ‘uncle’ a few lines earlier. In fact he called him ‘gracious uncle’, and the response he got to that was

Tut, tut! Grace me no grace, nor uncle me no uncle: I am not a traitor’s uncle.

In other words, Uncle, schmuncle, buddy! So I can see why Henry’s going for the surrogate dad angle now. But don't worry, by the end of the play, Uncle York will come around to Henry’s side. For now he’s going to at least play neutral. After all, Henry’s got a good point. Right after he was banished, his father, old Gaunt, died. And before that body was cold Richard was claiming all of Old Gaunt's assets. Of course we’re talking about assets that should have rightfully passed to John of Gaunt’s son, Henry Bolingbroke. So now Henry is back, out of banishment, and ready to claim those assets that were ‘ pluck’d from my arms perforce and given away to upstart unthrifts!’  Can you imagine? Upstart unthrifts! Well them’s fightin’ words!

And spoiler alert: Henry’s going to decide that he wants a bit more than his dad’s assets; he’s going to decide he also wants Richard’s crown.

This is a limited edition, signed print of a painting by J.F. Lansdowne. Relevance? It was my dad's asset. But I didn't have to raise an army, or argue with my uncle to get it. Actually, after dad passed away no one else wanted it. So I just ended up with it.

I’ll bring her to the Grecian presently:

-Troilus

Troilus And Cressida                                       Act IV, Scene iii, Line 6

Just to re-set: Troilus and Cressida is about the two titular lovers, but it’s also about the Trojan war. It encompasses a lot of the action of the Iliad, but I’m not sure whether or not Troilus and Cressida are part of the Iliad or if they are Will’s add-on to that story. But we’re not going to find that out today.

Anyway, this is a very short scene. Here’s the entirety of Act IV, Scene iii.

 SCENE III. The same. Street before Pandarus' house.

Enter PARIS, TROILUS, AENEAS, DEIPHOBUS, ANTENOR, and DIOMEDES

PARIS

It is great morning, and the hour prefix'd
Of her delivery to this valiant Greek
Comes fast upon. Good my brother Troilus,
Tell you the lady what she is to do, And haste her to the purpose.

TROILUS

Walk into her house;
I'll bring her to the Grecian presently:
And to his hand when I deliver her,
Think it an altar, and thy brother Troilus
A priest there offering to it his own heart.

Exit

PARIS

I know what 'tis to love;
And would, as I shall pity, I could help!
Please you walk in, my lords.

Exeunt

And that’s it. Thirteen lines. Without getting into the whole story too much, what’s happening here is that the Trojans and Greeks have agreed to a prisoner swap. Well, not actually prisoners, at least not both of them. But the deal is that the Trojans sent Cressida (a Trojan) to the Greeks and the Greeks send a Trojan prisoner back to Troy. I think that’s all you need to know for now. I know, you’re asking why do the Greeks want Cressida? Well her father, a Trojan, is now in the Greek camp. Not sure what’s up with that.

So this is the scene where Troilus is being told that it’s time to surrender his babe for the swap. He seems to be taking it pretty well, don’t you think. I mean, he makes the little statement about offering up his heart to an altar, but other than that he doesn’t seem to be fighting the deal. It’s a pretty mild mannered statement. I’ll bring her to the Grecian presently (yawn). And then what? Oh yeah, I think I was gonna go get a haircut. Yeah, that’s what it was. Well this is sort of a comedy anyway, so…

All right then. This is my copy of The Iliad, and this is the pronouncing glossary in the back of the book. If you zoom in you can see Troilus's name there. But if you go to the 'C' page there is on Cressida (that's why Cressida here, holding the book open, looks so pissed off). So it looks like maybe Will invented Cressida, but not Troilus? And if Cressida never really existed then that would explain why Troilus was so cavalier about giving  her up to the Greeks. It's all a bit confusing, isn't it?