Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I would we had a thousand Roman dames

At such a bay, by turn to serve our lust.

 

Demetrius

Titus Andronicus   Act IV, Scene ii,  Line 41

 

This is really sick. Aaron the Moor, talking to Demetrius, says, Did you not use his daughter very friendly? He’s talking about the fact that Demetrius and his brother savagely raped and maimed Titus’s daughter Lavinia. That’s what Demetrius is responding to with Today’s Lines. Nice huh?

If it’s any consolation (which it’s really not), Demetrius and his brother are going to get murdered and cut up by Titus, put in a stew, and served unknowingly to their mother.

This play, written early in Will’s career, might be the original slasher movie/play.

 

Well, those are some pretty unpleasant (to say the least) mental images I've presented you with today. But remember, Totally Random. Totally.

 

 To make it up to you, here's a pic of today's culinary creations: Christmas Wreaths. Much more seasonal, delectable, and pleasant to consider. 

Bon appetit!

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

  

I can speak English, lord, as well as you;

For I was train’d up in the English court,

Where, being but young, I framed to the harp

Many an English ditty lovely well,

And gave the tongue a helpful ornament,--

A virtue that was never seen in you.

 

Glendower

King Henry the Fourth Part I   Act III, Scene i,  Line 119

  

This is part of an argument over a map that the rebels are using to divide up the kingdom. Hotspur has decided that he’s not been allocated enough land so he’s going to change the course of the Trent river to increase the size of his allotment. Glendower is telling him he can’t do that, and Hotspur doesn’t like being told that he can’t do it, so he says to Glendower,

                                    Let me not understand you, then;
Speak it in Welsh.

I guess he’s mocking Glendower here. Glendower is a Welshman. Anyway, Glendower answers him with today’s lines.

Taken alone, today’s lines are quite understandable. Taken in context they have a bit of a defiant meaning.

But defiance aside, Glendower says he wrote a song that gave the tongue a helpful ornament. 

That's some interesting phraseology, isn't it.

Now I'll bet you think that I couldn't possibly find a picture relevant to the phrase gave the tongue a helpful ornament. Well, believe it or not, here it is.

This is an ornament that we bought at Katie Wolfart's in Rothenburg, Germany in 1999. 

It's a helpful ornament because it gives me a reason to use my tongue to say Katie Wolfart, which is a fun name to say. 

Try it - Katie Wolfart.

See! What did I tell you!

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Thou hast forespoke my being in these wars,

And say'st it is not fit.

 

Cleopatra

Antony and Cleopatra    Act III, Scene vii, Line 3

 

This is Cleopatra talking to Enobarbus, Antony’s right-hand man. Since we’re only on line three of the scene, I’m going to give it to you from the beginning. The setting is Antony’s camp near Actium and it’s just the two of them there.

Cleo

I will be even with thee, doubt it not.

Eno

But why, why, why?

Cleo

Thou hast forespoke my being in these wars,
And say’st it is not fit.

Eno
                                           Well, is it, is it?

Cleo
If not denounced against us, why should not we
Be there in person?

Eno
                               [Aside] Well, I could reply:—
If we should serve with horse and mares together,
The horse were merely lost; the mares would bear
A soldier and his horse.

Cleo
                                              What is’t you say?

Eno
Your presence needs must puzzle Antony;
Take from his heart, take from his brain, from’s time,
What should not then be spared. He is already
Traduced for levity; and ‘tis said in Rome
That Photinus an eunuch, and your maids
Manage this war.

Cleo
Sink Rome, and their tongues rot
That speak against us! A charge we bear i’the war,
And, as the president of my kingdom, will
Appear there for a man. Speak not against it;
I will not stay behind.

Eno
                                         Nay, I have done.
Here comes the emperor.

Enter Antony and Canidius.


Enobarbus is telling Cleopatra that she does not belong at the wars with Antony. She gives reasons why she should be there, and eventually Enobarbus gives up.

A couple of things.
Once again we start a scene with a conversation already well underway. Clearly Cleopatra had previously said something else that Enobarbus was saying Why, why, why to. Will loves to start us in the middle of things.
Secondly, the line Sink Rome, and their tongues rot/That speak against us. Great line!

 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 

Madam, although I speak it in your presence,

You have a noble and a true conceit

Of god-like amity; which appears most strongly

In bearing thus the absence of your lord.

 

Lorenzo

The Merchant of Venice        Act III, Scene iv,  Line 1

 

Lorenzo is telling Portia she’s a good egg for letting her new husband take off to go help Antonio. Well, actually he tells her she has a noble and a true conceit of god-like amity. So that's almost the same as calling her a good egg. He goes on to tell her that if she knew what a great guy Antonio is, and how much he means to Bassanio, she would be even prouder of her own actions.

Good egg: that’s a term my mom used to use for people that were good folks. I just googled it, and it’s there. So I guess other people used it as well.

Yeah, Portia’s a good egg.

Speaking of mom, and good eggs, here she is with her granddaughter Jessica. Jessica, by the way, is a name credited by some to be the creation of Shakespeare, and she's in today's scene, though not in the part we looked at.

Anyway, Mom and Jessica, good eggs both.  

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

  

Now, by my holidame, here comes Katherine!

Baptista

The Taming of the Shrew      Act V, Scene ii,  Line 100

 

The end of the play is ninety lines further on. If you recall, it ends with Petruchio proving that his wife is more obedient to him than Lucentio’s or Hortensio’s are to them. He proves that he has titularly tamed the shrew. (What do you think of that word, titularly?)

Katherine comes at Petruchio’s command, and then gives a little speech to the other two women about how they should treat their husbands like kings. Petruchio and Katherine go off to bed, and Hortensio and Lucentio are left in wonder.
And that’s The Taming Of The Shrew.

Today’s take away? Holidame. By my holidame: a wonderful expression for us to use.

By my holidame, he's a curious little fellow!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

  

What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon’s with savages and men of Ind, ha? I have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils.

Stephano

The Tempest                   Act II, Scene ii,  Line xxx

 

And it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils. That’s exactly where I landed with today’s random pick, but you really need the rest of the paragraph to make any sense out of that one line.

This, of course, is Stephano reacting to the sight of Trinculo hiding underneath Caliban.

“It’s a monster!” yells Stephano, “What’s more than that,

It’s a monster that’s sick, from the sound of it’s hack,”

And of course in his stupor ol’ Stephano’s sure

That a swig of his liquor’s the thing that will cure.

So he grabs howling Caliban tight by the nose,

And straight down the beast’s throat with the liquor he goes,

And Caliban feels it right down to his toes.

That’s a retelling of The Tempest that I’m quoting from.

And here's the pic from that retelling.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 Escalus,--

Duke

Measure For Measure           Act I, Scene 1,  Line 1

This is the first line, actually the first word, of the play. The Duke is starting his sentence, speaking to Escalus. Escalus has the second two words,
My lord?

And then the duke gets into it. Into what? I have no idea. Here, check out the beginning of what the duke is saying to Escalus.

Of government the properties to unfold,
Would seem in me t’affect speech and discourse;
Since I am put to know that your own science
Exceeds, in that, the list of all advice
My strength can give you: then no more remains
But that to your sufficiency, as your worth is able,
And let them work.

There, that’s the first sentence of the play. If you’re anything like me (which is silly to say because I’m sure you’re not) you’re saying “What the fahrfugnugen?”

Now, if you look at that sentence you will quickly realize that there are no tough words in it. The vocabulary is nothing special; we know what every word means. But taken as a whole? Oy. Or perhaps Oyee Vey!

Yup, it’s Will messing with syntax. And to think, he’s decided to make that the first sentence of the whole play! What the heck Will! What were you thinking?!

And we’re expecting school kids in 2023 to understand this? We’re expecting these kids to believe this is written in modern English? 

Oy!

Picture? Are you kidding me? What would I give you a picture of?