Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Many a time hath banisht Norfolk fought

For Jesu Christ in glorious Christian field,

Streaming the ensign of the Christian cross

Against black pagans, Turks, and Saracens;

And toil’d with works of war, retired himself

To Italy; and there, at Venice, gave

His body to that pleasant country’s earth,

And his pure soul unto his captain Christ,

Under whose colours he had fought so long.

 

Bishop of Carlisle

King Richard the Second       Act IV, Scene i, Line 96

 

That’s a pretty long way of saying that Norfolk’s not going to be returning. 

The first seventy lines of this scene are about Bagot, Aumerle, Fitzwater, and a bunch of others arguing over who’s telling the truth. Bolingbroke is overseeing this imbroglio and says that everyone’s differences will be settled when Norfolk returns. The bishop responds, letting them all know that Norfolk’s not going to be returning. Apparently, Norfolk outsmarted them all and retired to Venice where he passed away peacefully. It sounds a little more like something more from a modern movie script than from Shakespeare, doesn't it?

Mr. World Traveler, who thinks he belongs in a movie, hasn't yet been to Venice; but he's hopeful. 

Yes Mojo, you're right, that guy's seat is not lay-flat. You have a much nicer seat in your "special private traveling cabin"

(that's what he likes to call the pet carrier).

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Good morrow to your majesty and to my gracious mother.

 

Cloten

Cymbeline                      Act II, Scene iii, Line 39

Eddie Haskel. People of a certain age will know that name. However, that certain age is mostly over sixty. Eddie Haskel was a character in the 50’s/6o’s television show Leave It To Beaver. Eddie was a friend of one of the main characters, and he was a weasel. When he was alone with his friend Wally (Beaver’s brother – Beaver was the nickname of the main character) Eddie was generally up to no good. But whenever Wally and Beaver’s mother was around Eddie always acted like a goodie two-shoes. “Hello Mrs. Cleaver. You look lovely today Mrs. Cleaver,” he would say, all smiles. Of course, Mrs. Cleaver saw right through his act.

So, why am I dredging up Eddie Haskel? Because he’s what comes to mind when I hear Cloten saying Good morrow to your majesty and my gracious mother. Cloten is a weasel. He’s an Eddie Haskel. In fact, Will’s works are full of Eddie Haskels. Though, to be fair to Eddie, Will’s characters are much worse. Eddie was a weasel, but he was never responsible for getting anyone killed.

Leave It To Beaver, Leave It To Beaver... what channel's that gonna be on?

Mojo that's not... oh never mind.

I don't have the heart to tell him that's the a/c remote.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 Do me the common right

To let me see them, and to make me know

The nature of their crimes, that I may minister

To them accordingly.

 

Duke (disguised as a friar)

Measure For Measure           Act II, Scene iii, Line 6

The Duke, disguised as a friar, is talking to the fellow in charge of the prison. He’s asking him to let him, the Duke/Friar, see the prisoners so that he can tend to their spiritual needs.

Pretty simple, right? 

The only hard part about today’s line was posting it.  We had a power outage last night and my pc files got a little scrambled. 

It took our in-house IT guy close to an hour to get it straightened out. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Under King Harry.

 

Justice Shallow

King Henry the Fourth Part II      Act V, Scene iii, Line 113

Justice Shallow had said that he is operating under the king’s authority, and so was asked which king. This is his answer, which led to another question: Harry the Fourth or Fifth? You might have noticed that this is act five of Harry the Fourth, and so the answer to the question needed to be Harry the Fifth. Unbeknownst to Shallow, Harry the Fourth kicked the bucket in the previous scene and now, as in many of these history plays, Henry the Fifth is king even though we’re still in Henry the Fourth’s play.

Yes Mojo, I see; you're under the covers. It's not quite the same as being under King Harry, but thank you for the demonstration nonetheless.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, what a sympathy of woe is this,--

As far from help as Limbo is from bliss!

 

Titus

Titus Andronicus           Act III, Scene i, Line 145

 

These two line are the end of a seven line bit of Titus’s about the sad state of affairs they are in. And trust me, it is a very sad state of affairs. In fact, this whole play is one big sad state of affairs.

Here's one spoiled little fellow who's very far from being in need of any sympathy. 

In fact, I don't think he could get any further from it.

No Mojo, I don't know what's for dessert.

 

 

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I would you had been by the ship-side, to  have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

 

Clown

The Winter’s Tale                  Act III, Scene iii, Line 110

Okay, first of all you should know that The Winter’s Tale has nothing to do with winter. I guess it’s a tale that’s good to be told when you’re in front of the fire on a cold winter’s day.  

Now, as for this particular line: it requires a bit of setup, but I’ll try to keep it as short as I can.

Antigonus has just left a baby on a deserted beach per the king’s orders. For sake of brevity, and sanity, we won’t get into the reason’s he’s doing this. Anyway, he drops it off and then leaves with a very famous Shakespearean stage direction

[Exit, pursued by a bear]

Trust me, anyone who knows anything about Shakespeare knows that bit of stage direction. Now you know it, so you can impress people.

To continue: an old shepherd comes along and finds the baby. He’s marveling over the baby when his son comes into the scene. His son is simply Clown in the script. You’d think they could have given the poor guy a name.

So the son tells the father of two things that he just this moment saw – one was a bear feasting on a guy, and the other was a shipwreck taking place in the rough seas just offshore (that's the boat that Antigonus and the baby arrived on). The Shepherd remarks that he wisht he’d been with his son because he would have tried to have helped the guy getting mauled by the bear. To which the son replies

I would you had been by the ship-side, to have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

I think that the there that the son is talking about is at the bear attack.

You’d have had better luck trying to save the sailors: any attempt to save the bear-attack guy(your charity) would have been useless (lacked footing).

Phew! That took a lot to get to what this line was about! Well, if one thing’s gonna stick with you, make it the stage direction Exit, pursued by bear. Trust me, it’s a great little piece of Shakespearean factoid. And also, now you know what happened to that guy being chased: he got eaten by the bear. I bet that most of the people who are familiar with that little bit of stage direction don't know that. 

This guy is such a Nervous-Nell. Now he's on the lookout for bears!

No Mojo, there's no bears in this yard: just rabbits.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, that your lordship were but now confessor

To one or two of these!

 

Sir Thomas Lovell

King Henry the Eighth          Act I, Scene iv, Line 15

 

Sir Thomas is referring to a group of ladies that has been brought in for a party with the King. I’m not exactly sure what Sir Thomas is meaning with this line, but I’m thinking that it might not be the most wholesome thought that he’s having here. 

How about this character? Is he thinking wholesome thoughts? Well, he's got his eye on something, and he's definitely having thoughts of some sort or another. 

Wholesome or not, you can bet he's thinking about something he probably shouldn't be doing.

 Nothing but trouble, this guy is. 

Nothing but trouble.