Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book;

-Sir Nathaniel

Love’s Labours Lost                   Act IV, Scene ii, Line 24

Today; no context. I don’t know this play, but it seems pretty easy to see that Sir Nathaniel is saying that whoever they’re talking about has never had the pleasure to read a book. Okay, maybe a little context (though I don’t really think it’s needed; I was just curious). I went back to take a look and it seems that they might be talking about a deer. Which still makes sense because, as far as I know, there aren’t too many deer out there who’ve read a book.

How 'bout this guy? Do you think he's ever read a book? Yeah, probably not. Looks like he's saying 'Who, me?' 

Trust me, sweet,

Out of this silence yet I pickt a welcome;

And in the modesty of fearful duty

I read as much as from the rattling tongue

Of saucy and audacious eloquence.

-Theseus

A Midsummer Night’s Dream    Act V, Scene i, Line 101

Okay, this one’s gonna take a little setup and some explanation, but I think it will be worth the effort. Here goes.

This is towards the end of the play and Theseus, the Duke of Athens has been asked to pick a play to be performed. He’s picked a play that’s to be performed by a bunch of very inept actors. His bride Hippolyta has questioned his choice because of the poor actors and Theseus is explaining why he picked this play, and these actors. He’s comparing these actors to some of the men from whom he’s received formal greetings in places he has visited. With today’s Totally Random line he’s telling his bride to go along with his choice, Trust me, sweet, because he knows that sometimes the people greeting him have been so nervous that they stammer or say nothing at all and that he is able to get as much out of this type of greeting, Out of this silence yet I pickt a welcome; And in the modesty of fearful duty I read as much, as when he gets the proper flowery language of an expected greeting, as from the rattling tongue Of saucy and audacious eloquence. So he's applying that to the inept actors and saying that he'll be able to get as much out of watching them perform as he would get out of watching good actors perform. 

So now read the whole four and a half lines again. Makes sense,  right? Well, hopefully it does.

Since you should be able to get just as much out of a crappy picture as a good one (in line with today's message), I just grabbed the first pic I came across, without any regard for quality or relevance.

Well, what do you think?

So do you.

-Valentine

Two Gentlemen Of Verona            Act II, Scene iv, Line 13

Here is a fabulous line for all you folks that want to be able to quote Shakespeare. And it’s eminently usable. No, we don’t need to look at today’s context, let’s just look at how we can use the line. 

Your wife tells you that you snore in bed. Your reply?

 “To quote Shakespeare, Dear, ‘So do you’.”

Hah! Perfect! There’s gotta be a hundred times you can use this in any given day! And anytime someone comes back with “That’s not Shakespeare!” you can just quote the play, act, scene, and line above. They’ll be too busy trying to process that to argue back "No I do not.” So you’ll be all set.

No need to thank me.

What's that you say? I have a messy office? Well, to quote Shakespeare, 'So do you.' Hah, what do you think of that!

Retire, we have engaged ourselves too far:

-Agrippa

Antony And Cleopatra                 Act IV, Scene vii, Line 1

 

Yes, line one; the first line in the scene. Agrippa (one of Caesar’s guys) is saying to his men ‘Retire’, which in this case means ‘Retreat’. This is a battle between Antony and Caesar’s forces that Antony will win. Unfortunately for him, it is a war he will lose.

I have to say that I feel this way often. I’ll look at some project or situation I’ve gotten myself into and I’ll say to myself (since I have no men to say it to) ‘Retire Pete, you’ve engaged yourself too far.' Actually, my wife is pretty good at saying this to me also. Like the time she asked me to paint the front hall ceiling and I decided to sheetrock over the existing ceiling first. So I took a one or two day project and turned it into a two month project. She said ‘Retire, you’ve engaged yourself too far.’ Actually it was more like ‘For crying out loud, why did you have to turn this into a huge, freaking  project!’ But what she really meant was ‘Retire, you’ve engaged yourself too far.’ At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what she meant.

And this is what it looked like when I was done. Except, I think it looks better than this because you really can't see the taping bumps that show up in this picture. At least I don't think you can. Aw geez, I need to retire, I've engaged myself too far again.

But hear you, hear you!

-Pandarus

Troilus And Cressida                      Act V, Scene x, Line 32

Yes, that’s right; scene ten. I don’t think we’ve had a scene ten previously, but we have one now. And this is the very last scene in Troilus And Cressida. The Trojan hero Hector’s been killed and this scene talks a little about that and then is just a play wrap up. The last part of this scene is a bit of an epilogue, though it’s not delineated as such. I read it this morning. And then I read the scene summary in my PlayShakespeare app. And then I thought, holy cow, how’d they get that out of that? Since it’s pretty short, I’m going to give you a shot at it. Remember, this is the Trojan war and the Trojan hero, Hector, has just been killed. And now the Troilus, another Trojan, is talking about the death of Hector, and finally Pandarus, another Trojan, comes in to have the final say. Here’s the link, all 57 lines of it. C’mon, you can do it. It’s only 57 lines.

Troilus and Cressida Act V, Scene x

Now here’s the PlayShakespeare.com scene summary:

The Trojans too, learn of Hector’s death. Enraged, Troilus swears revenge, Pandarus tries to speak to him, but Troilus pushes him aside as a pimp. Left alone, Pandarus tries to comfort himself, but merely ends up wishing his venereal disease on the audience.

Say what? Venereal disease? I don’t know about you, but I missed a lot of that. Maybe I should go and listen to it. Or maybe read it again.

I'm not sure if I gave you the pitch on Fagles's Iliad translation before, but no matter. It's a really good translation. In here you'll learn all about Hector and Achilles and the others. But I'm not sure Troilus is in the Iliad or not. Guess you'll have to read it to find out.

He hath refused it in the open court:

He shall have merely justice and his bond.

-Portia (as Balthasar)

The Merchant Of Venice                    Act IV, Scene i, Line 338

Okay, we’re back. Rule number one of a good blog is frequent posts. The last post was July 4 and today is July 13. Oooof. Sorry about that. Let’s see if we can’t ramp it up a bit as we move toward the one year mark, starting with today. I'll do the best I can. 

So today we are deep into the scene where Shylock gets royally screwed. With today's lines Shylock is being told that not only is he not getting his pound of flesh, neither is he getting any of his interest or principle paid back. And I’m guessing, though I really don’t know, that Shakespeare’s audience in 1600 found it funny that Shylock got so screwed. Was it because at that they enjoyed making fun of a Jew (and a lot of other groups; heck you could get disemboweled for being a catholic, or a non-catholic, depending on who happened to be sitting on the throne)? Or was it just funny because of the quick turn of events (Shylock went from thinking that he was going to get his pound of flesh in one minute to realizing that he was getting nothing, and losing most of the property in the next minute) irrespective of the fact that he was a Jew? Or perhaps this section wasn’t supposed to be that funny at all? I don’t know. Maybe Mr. Shapiro or Mr. Bloom know the answer, but I sure don’t’. Guys?

And what about ‘merely justice’? Was it really justice at all? This story has a lot about justice in it. They say that Measure For Measure is all about justice, but what about this play? And in the end is justice really served? I’m not so sure. Antonio agreed to the loan. If it wasn’t repaid by the established date Shylock would be owed a pound of his flesh. It was right there in black and white. And in the end Portia (acting as Balthazar) got him out of it on a technical loophole. But was justice served. Again, I’m not sure. James? Harold? What do you think?

You're right, this picture's got nothing whatsoever to do with today's line. I tried and tried and I just could not find a relevant picture. I tried so hard that I feel like I could use some time in the Hall of Mental Cultivation. Unfortunately I took this picture three years ago in a place far, far away from here. So I'm afraid that hall is not available to me now. Shylock got no pound of flesh, and no money back. I got no picture and no Hall of Mental Cultivation. Oh well. 

On each side of her, the BISHOPS OF LONDON and WINCHESTER.

-Stage Direction

King Henry The Eighth                   Act IV, Scene i,  Before Line 38

This is something I haven’t seen in the previous 326 days of Totally Random lines. Today’s line is just a piece in the middle of over 20 lines of stage direction. Here’s the whole thing

Hautboys

THE ORDER OF THE CORONATION

1. A lively flourish of Trumpets.
2. Then, two Judges.
3. Lord Chancellor, with the purse and mace before him.
4. Choristers, singing.

Music

5. Mayor of London, bearing the mace. ThenGarter, in his coat of arms, and on his
head a gilt copper crown.
6. Marquess Dorset, bearing a sceptre of gold, on his head a demi-coronal of gold. With
him, SURREY, bearing the rod of silver with the dove, crowned with an earl's coronet.
Collars of SS.
7. SUFFOLK, in his robe of estate, his coronet on his head, bearing a long white wand, as
high-steward. With him, NORFOLK, with the rod of marshalship, a coronet on his head.
Collars of SS.
8. A canopy borne by four of the Cinque-ports; under it, QUEEN ANNE in her robe; in her hair
richly adorned with pearl, crowned. On each side her, the Bishops of London and
Winchester.
9. The old Duchess of Norfolk, in a coronal of gold, wrought with flowers, bearing QUEEN
ANNE's train.
10. Certain Ladies or Countesses, with plain circlets of gold without flowers.

They pass over the stage in order and state

Yes, all of that is included as stage direction in this play. The lines before and after it are spoken by the Second Gentleman who’s talking to the First and Third Gentleman as they comment on the what’s taking place. These three gentlemen are the only speaking parts in this scene.

I don’t know if this is Will’s longest piece of stage direction, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is.

Okay, this is not a stage directions. But they are directions; in English and Irish, just in case you don't understand one or the other.