Tuesday, May 19, 2020


Go softly on.

-Fortinbras     

Hamlet                                    Act IV, scene iv, line 8

What a nice line. Go softly on.

The speaker, our friend Fortinbras, is the answer to the trivia question ‘who has the last line in the play Hamlet’. This, of course, is not that last line. This is the part in the play where Fortinbras is leading his army through Denmark on his way to a fight in Poland. He’s telling his captain to go and tell the Danish King that he’s just passing through, and he sends the captain off with the phrase Go softly on.

Hamlet is a bystander in this scene, and this leads into one of his soliloquies when he sees that Fortinbras is taking a couple thousand men to a fight to the death over a meaningless patch of land. Even for an eggshell, he says. That is the How all occasions do inform against me soliloquy. But before we can get to that, we go through the brief part of the act where Fortinbras says Go softly on.

So I’ll just say to you, have a good day, and go softly on. 

Well, you can't see it too well, but those guys on the right side of the picture are playing some kind of bocce. This is the Arenes de Lutece in Paris. It's almost 2,000 years old, built by the Romans. I thought the picture was a good representation of Go softly on. A slow game of lawn bowling in a two centuries old arena. Yeah, these guys are going softly on. Or maybe the arena is going softly on.
Either way, Go softly on.

Sunday, May 17, 2020


And, in a word, but even now worth this,

And now worth nothing? 


-Salarino         



The Merchant Of Venice                    Act I, scene i, line 35



To re-state that into the way we would probably say it today, ‘One minute worth something, and the next minute worth nothing.’ This is the beginning of the play. Antonio, the titular merchant, starts out with his famous ‘I know not why I am so sad’ bit, and the first thing that his buddies Salarino and Solanio come up with is that he’s sad because he’s worrying too much about the ships he has out at sea. 
Salarino talks about that fact that if he had all his money risked in his ships out at sea then he wouldn’t be able to blow on his hot soup without thinking of the winds blowing up a storm and wrecking his ships. And he goes on. 

Here’s Salarino’s whole passage. It’s worth a read. I mean, really, any day you spend a few minutes with a handful of Will’s lines is a better day for it, n’est pas? I think I need to turn that into a saying, but it’s gotta be worded a little better than that. In  the meantime, here you go.



                                                My wind cooling my broth,

Would blow me to an ague, when I thought

What harm a wind too great might do at sea.

I should not see the sandy hour-glass run,

But I should think of shallows and of flats;

And see my wealthy Andrew dockt in sand,

Vailing her high-top lower than her ribs,

To kiss her burial. Should I go to church,

And see the holy edifice of stone,

And not bethink me straight of dangerous rocks,

Which touching but my gentle vessel’s side,

Would scatter all her spices on the stream;

Enrobe the roaring waters with my silks;

And, in a word, but even now worth this,

And now worth nothing? Shall I have the thought

To think on this; and shall I lack the thought,

That such a thing bechanced would make me sad?

But tell me not; I know Antonio

Is sad to think upon his merchandise.





Well that passage was a little longer than I thought, and my typing skills aren’t all that. I think my favorite line is the bit about Enrobing the roaring waters with my silks. Anyway, there it is, so…enjoy.


Here is Nina standing in front of one very famous holy edifice of stone. I couldn't come up with any pictures of my silks enrobing the roaring waters. In fact, I don't think I have any pictures of my silks. In fact, fact I don't have any silks. Quel dommage!



Saturday, May 16, 2020


The one I’ll slay, the other slayeth  me.



-Demetrius



A Midsummer Night’s Dreamy                      Act II, scene i, line 190



As I’ve stated too many times, this is not one of my favorites of Will’s works. I do have to say that I’ve been starting to appreciate the parts with Snug the joiner and his friends who put on the play within the play. Today’s line, however, is not from them.


When I first read today’s line and this section of the scene this morning I thought this was taking place after Puck put the love potion in their eyes. But alas, no. Demetrius is madly in love with Hermia who’s run off with Lysander, the latter being the one Demetrius wants to slay and the former the one who slayeth him. And Helena is with Demetrius, who's looking for Hermia and Lysander, telling him how much she loves him regardless of how poorly he treats her. 


Ugh. A comedy.

Yes, it's a pan full of onions and peppers. Relevance? I'm more fond of onions and peppers than I am of this play.


Friday, May 15, 2020


What is this forest call’d?

-Archbishop of York

King Henry The Fourth Part II                Act IV, scene i, line 1

The Gaultree Forest is its name. That’s what Hastings tells him. The name of this forest, or even that’s they’re in a forest, seems somewhat irrelevant to what goes on in the rest of the scene. Although I suppose it does give some idea to the sixteenth century theater-goer where the action of the scene is taking place, assuming that they knew that the Gaultree Forest was in the north of England, around the area of York. 

If we were watching a movie set in NYC and all of a sudden we’re in the woods, I guess it would be good to know whether we were in Catskills or in Central Park. That information could be important to an  understanding of what’s going on. So, okay, yeah, it’s relevant.

Gaultree Forest. Got it?

This is my neighbor Dan's house. He lives across that street, and I guess if you asked, those trees behind his house could be referred to as Dan's Woods. However, I think the more important question I have for Dan is what is that Tyrannosaurus Rex doing in your backyard?

Thursday, May 14, 2020


Thou still hast been the father of good news.



 -Claudius



Hamlet                                       Act II, scene ii, line 109




This is Claudius responding to gabby Polonius after the latter has told him that the ambassadors to Norway have returned. 


I see no reason to get into a lot of context here. In fact I’m not sure what to do with today’s line. I’m feeling a bit introspective this morning, a so perhaps I should just ramble on about my personal thoughts and feelings? Well I don’t really see that happening. And I don’t think that’s what all you thousands of readers are looking for. Although, now that I think about it, since today's play is Hamlet it would be perfectly appropriate to ramble on and on about my thoughts and feelings, wouldn't it?

How about I just give you a pic and leave it at that.  

This is what we brought back on our return from Norway. It's a box of candies. Of course, we weren't exactly ambassadors, but we did go there. By the way, the white things with the blue lines are supposed to be glaciers. I'm not sure what the brown ones with red represent. I'll ask Patrice and get back to you.




Saturday, May 9, 2020


He tells her, no; to-morrow he intends

To hunt the boar with certain of his friends.



-Narrator



Venus And Adonis                                line 587





If yesterday was a milestone, well today we’re back where we started. The very first Totally Random line was from Venus And Adonis, and now we’re back to that poem with Totally Random line # 1,232. Oh yah, we’ve been back to these two characters since then, and now here we are again.


In this line Venus is trying to make a date with Adonis for tomorrow, but he tells her that he’d rather go pig hunting with his friends. That’s classic; pig hunting with his friends. This poem has everything: humour, sex, and drama. I’m putting today’s line in the humour category.

This is the result of some pig hunting that Patrice and I did in Paris a few years back. We ended up in this little jamon shop somewhere near the Eiffel Tower. We ate jamon and drank a bottle of wine. It was fabulous.

Friday, May 8, 2020


      All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:



-Jaques



As You Like It                                      Act II, scene vii, line 140





Well, we’ve done it. Nearly four years into this exercise, random line # 1281, and we’ve come upon one of Will’s most famous lines, All the worlds a stage. Wow, what’re we going to do with this? I’ll tell you what. We’re going to give you Jaques’s whole speech, of which these are just the first two lines. It’s a fabulous speech, and I hope you like it. It might look a little long, but it’s well worth it.



All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. As, first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.

And then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to  his mistress’ eyebrow. Then the soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

  

Wonderful, wonderful lines.

That is a very old, very elaborate stage behind me, pre-dating even Will. But then, all the world's a stage, isn't it. 

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