But her eyes,--

How could he see to do them? Having made one,

Methinks it should have power to steal both his,

And leave itself unfurnisht.

 

-Bassanio

The Merchant of Venice         Act III Scene ii, Line 125

 

Here we have Bassanio talking about a painting of Portia. The he and his being referred to is the artist who painted the picture. Once he had painted one of Portia’s eyes how is it possible that the beauty of it did not distract the artist so much that he would not have been able to finish the painting.

Bassanio also talks about Portia’s lips and her sweet breath (that’s how good the artist was: he was able to paint her breath) as well as her hair, where

The painter plays the spider; and hath woven

A golden mesh t’entrap the hearts of men,

Faster than gnats in cobwebs: 

Apparently Bassanio is fairly enraptured with the appearance of Portia, and the job that the artist did on her portrait. I suppose that’s good since he just won her. Yeah, let's not get into that part of it.

I think I might have used this pic before, but it seemed pretty appropriate for today's line. This is the crowd at the Louvre (that's Jess front and center in the pic) staring at the Mona Lisa. Mona is off to the left, behind that curved wooden railing (every time I look at this pic I am amazed by all of the other paintings in this room being ignored). So it begs the question: did Leonardo DaVinci do as good a job as the painter of Portia? Or are all of these people staring at the picture because it's famous? Being the cynic that I am, I have to go with the latter. How about you? 

 

Now, good Sir John, how do you like Windsor wives?—

-Mistress Page

The Merry Wives of Windsor         Act V Scene v, Line 109

 

And there you have it. Falstaff has spent a good portion of this play working on having his way with the wives, and in this final scene the wives, their husbands, and just about everyone else in the play turn the tables on him and make an ass of Falstaff. In fact, Sir John's reply to Mistress Page is I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.

N’uff said about that. I suppose we could go on and talk about the character of Falstaff, but rather then go into a bunch of analysis I’ll simply leave you with a little fun fact. Falstaff has more lines than any other of Shakespeare’s characters. How is that possible, you ask. It’s possible because Falstaff is in three different plays; Henry IV Parts I and II, and The Merry Wives of Windsor. Hamlet has more lines in one play than any other character in one play. But overall, Falstaff has more. There you go, that’s your Shakespeare trivia for the day. As usual, no need to thank me.

This character reminds me a little of Sir John Falstaff. They both have a lot to say, and they both do their best to get others to do all the work. In this picture our modern day Falstaff is sitting in a chair with  his daughter on his lap and he's got his wife holding the bottle. 

Yup, very Falstaffian.

 

His noble cousin is right welcome hither;

And all the number of his fair demands

Shall be accomplisht without contradiction:

 

-Richard

King Richard the Second        Act III Scene iii, Line 122

 

This is Richard’s answer to Bolingbroke’s demand that all his rights and properties be restored. Bolingbroke has said that this is all he wants, and that he has no designs on Richard’s crown. But everyone, including Richard, knows that is not true and that by giving in to Bolingbroke’s demands it will be the beginning of the end of Richard’s reign.

When Richard says His noble cousin, he’s using the royal third person. What he means is My noble cousin. Remember, Bolingbroke and Richard are first cousins, their fathers were brothers. But both the fathers, Bolingbroke’s dad, John of Gaunt, and Richard’s dad, the Black Prince, are long gone, leaving this next generation of cousins to sort it out.

Spoiler alert: they’re not going to do a very good job of sorting it out.

 

He supt at my house; but I therefore shake not.

-Bianca

Othello                   Act V Scene i, Line 118

 

Bianca is the mistress to Cassio, and Cassio is the fellow that Iago is using to fuel Othello’s jealousy. However, I’m not sure exactly what Iago is trying to do here, other than to know that it’s all part of the game he is playing. Literally no one in this play except Iago is doing anything improper, but Iago is managing to make trouble for just about everyone.

Good ‘ol Iago.

I supped at my house tonight too: leftover cheese and crackers and kielbasa from Easter.

And look - no shaking either. It's the hand of a surgeon. Well, not exactly.

 

Nay, this way, man: see where the huntsmen stand.

-King Edward

King Henry the Sixth Part III                 Act IV Scene v, Line 15

 

This is the part of English history (and this play) where the crown is bouncing from one head to the other, and even though we are referring to him here as King Edward, it's Henry the Sixth’s forces who have currently regained control of the kingdom. In this scene Edward is escaping from captivity. Apparently even in captivity he’s allowed to go out hunting (sort of like the prison for white collar prisoners today), and the huntsmen Edward’s pointing to are his brother and some others who have come to aid in his escape. They will be successful and the fellow who is guarding Edward goes along with them. Better do so than tarry and be hang’d, he says. That seems to be a pretty sensible attitude. 

Here are some Easter Peeps. Nothing to do with today's line; everything to do with the time of year. You'll notice that the two blue peeps on the left are vision impaired. We had another box of pink peeps that had no eyes at all. Where's the quality control, folks? Norm Stivers would never have let this workmanship (or lack thereof) get through.

 

Decius Brutus loves thee not:

 

-Artemidorus

Julius Caesar                          Act II Scene iii, Line 4

 

A sophist of Cnidos. That’s how Artemidorus is listed in the Dramatis Personae, the list of characters at the beginning of the play. What we’re doing with a teacher from ancient Greece in Caesar’s Rome is beyond me. Maybe he’s the guy who’s there to fix the clock.

Anyway, Artemidourus is the only person in this short scene. He is standing alone and reading aloud a note that he has penned to Julius Caesar warning him that he is in danger of being assassinated. He lists Brutus and all the fellows of the conspiracy. ‘Beware of Brutus; take heed of Cassius; come not near Casca, etc, etc.’ (I added the etc’s). I don’t know that Artemidorus is mentioned previously in the play, and I’m not sure how/why he knows about the conspiracy. He will show up one more time in the stabbing scene trying, and failing, to warn Caesar. The latter is too busy to listen to him.

And therein lies the lesson: Forget about the ides of March nonsense (although I guess he should have listened to that guy too), the lesson here is ignore others at your own peril.

Today's screen saver. Pretty cool shot, eh?

Relevance? None.

 

What wills Lord Talbot pleases Burgundy.

 

-Duke of Burgundy

King Henry the Sixth Part I       Act III Scene ii, Line 130

 

The line might seem a little hard to understand at first glance, but it’s really not. Whatever is the will of Lord Talbot will please Burgundy. The Duke of Burgundy is speaking to Talbot and referring to both Talbot and himself in the third person. Talbot has just told Burgundy that they’re going to take control of the town they are in, and once they’re done with that they will head to Paris because that’s where King Henry is. And Burgundy says, Okie dokie, what ever you say, Boss.

Got it?

This is our side yard. Yesterday I got home in a timely fashion so that I could help with some yardwork. But after about an hour of the boss riding around on the tractor pointing out to me every stick that needed to be picked up and every spot that needed to be raked, the Okie dokie, whatever you say, Boss turned into Rake the f@!&**! yard yourself, boss.