Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Under King Harry.

 

Justice Shallow

King Henry the Fourth Part II      Act V, Scene iii, Line 113

Justice Shallow had said that he is operating under the king’s authority, and so was asked which king. This is his answer, which led to another question: Harry the Fourth or Fifth? You might have noticed that this is act five of Harry the Fourth, and so the answer to the question needed to be Harry the Fifth. Unbeknownst to Shallow, Harry the Fourth kicked the bucket in the previous scene and now, as in many of these history plays, Henry the Fifth is king even though we’re still in Henry the Fourth’s play.

Yes Mojo, I see; you're under the covers. It's not quite the same as being under King Harry, but thank you for the demonstration nonetheless.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, what a sympathy of woe is this,--

As far from help as Limbo is from bliss!

 

Titus

Titus Andronicus           Act III, Scene i, Line 145

 

These two line are the end of a seven line bit of Titus’s about the sad state of affairs they are in. And trust me, it is a very sad state of affairs. In fact, this whole play is one big sad state of affairs.

Here's one spoiled little fellow who's very far from being in need of any sympathy. 

In fact, I don't think he could get any further from it.

No Mojo, I don't know what's for dessert.

 

 

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I would you had been by the ship-side, to  have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

 

Clown

The Winter’s Tale                  Act III, Scene iii, Line 110

Okay, first of all you should know that The Winter’s Tale has nothing to do with winter. I guess it’s a tale that’s good to be told when you’re in front of the fire on a cold winter’s day.  

Now, as for this particular line: it requires a bit of setup, but I’ll try to keep it as short as I can.

Antigonus has just left a baby on a deserted beach per the king’s orders. For sake of brevity, and sanity, we won’t get into the reason’s he’s doing this. Anyway, he drops it off and then leaves with a very famous Shakespearean stage direction

[Exit, pursued by a bear]

Trust me, anyone who knows anything about Shakespeare knows that bit of stage direction. Now you know it, so you can impress people.

To continue: an old shepherd comes along and finds the baby. He’s marveling over the baby when his son comes into the scene. His son is simply Clown in the script. You’d think they could have given the poor guy a name.

So the son tells the father of two things that he just this moment saw – one was a bear feasting on a guy, and the other was a shipwreck taking place in the rough seas just offshore (that's the boat that Antigonus and the baby arrived on). The Shepherd remarks that he wisht he’d been with his son because he would have tried to have helped the guy getting mauled by the bear. To which the son replies

I would you had been by the ship-side, to have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

I think that the there that the son is talking about is at the bear attack.

You’d have had better luck trying to save the sailors: any attempt to save the bear-attack guy(your charity) would have been useless (lacked footing).

Phew! That took a lot to get to what this line was about! Well, if one thing’s gonna stick with you, make it the stage direction Exit, pursued by bear. Trust me, it’s a great little piece of Shakespearean factoid. And also, now you know what happened to that guy being chased: he got eaten by the bear. I bet that most of the people who are familiar with that little bit of stage direction don't know that. 

This guy is such a Nervous-Nell. Now he's on the lookout for bears!

No Mojo, there's no bears in this yard: just rabbits.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, that your lordship were but now confessor

To one or two of these!

 

Sir Thomas Lovell

King Henry the Eighth          Act I, Scene iv, Line 15

 

Sir Thomas is referring to a group of ladies that has been brought in for a party with the King. I’m not exactly sure what Sir Thomas is meaning with this line, but I’m thinking that it might not be the most wholesome thought that he’s having here. 

How about this character? Is he thinking wholesome thoughts? Well, he's got his eye on something, and he's definitely having thoughts of some sort or another. 

Wholesome or not, you can bet he's thinking about something he probably shouldn't be doing.

 Nothing but trouble, this guy is. 

Nothing but trouble.

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Art not a poet?

 

Apemantus

Timon Of Athens            Act I, Scene i, Line 219

 

Apemantus is asking the Poet if he’s a poet.

What can I possibly have to say about that?

 

You got anything to say about that line, little parrot-man?

He's got nothin'.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Hung be the heavens with black, yield day to night!

Comets, importing change of times and states,

Brandish your crystal tresses in the sky,

And with them scourge the bad revolting stars

That have consented unto Henry’s death.

 

Duke of Bedford

King Henry the Sixth Part I          Act I, Scene i, Line 1

 

That’s right, it’s the first line of the play. Not only that, it’s the first play in my book. So it’s the first possible line to be picked. And not only, not only that, but the book has the plays in chronological order based on when Will wrote them. So this is the first line of any play that Will ever wrote.

Well, not exactly. You see, there is general disagreement on the exact order of Will’s plays. Depending on what Shakespearean scholar you ask, Will’s first play could be this one, or Comedy Of Errors, or Taming Of The Shrew, or… well, you get the idea.

No matter what you think, though, I like to think these are the first lines of Will’s put to paper. It’s the Duke’s exclamation, lamentation, about the death of Henry V. And a fine exclamation, lamentation it is!

Whilst some might claim it’s a little bit overdone, I like it. Can you imagine someone getting up at your funeral to give an elegy and starting with this? I think that would be fabulous! Not that I’m in any rush to be eulogized, mind you.

Hung be the heavens with red, not black!

(I decided to give Mojo the day off)

He claims I've been working him too hard, if you can believe that.

 

Wait, what did he say?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

Ophelia

Hamlet                    Act III, Scene ii, Line 267

It’s Ophelia talking to Hamlet. One thing about this play is that there’s very little said that doesn’t have some hidden meaning. What’s the hidden meaning in Ophelia telling Hamlet that he’s sharp? I don’t know. It’s hidden.

No, no Mojo; you're not hidden. I can still see you. 

I was trying to teach him how to play hide and seek last summer, and he was having a hard time with the concept. Somehow, he thought that since he was sitting in my slipper that would count as being hidden. He's gotten a bit keener since then.