Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Ventidius

I’ll humbly signify what in his name,

That magical word of war, we have effected;

How, with his banners and his well-paid ranks,

The ne’er-yet-beaten horse of Parthia

We have jaded out o’the field.

 Silius

                                 Where is he now?

Ventidius

He purposeth to Athen: whither, with what haste

The weight we must convey with’s will permit,

We shall appear before him.—On, there; pass along!

 

Antony and Cleopatra               Act III, Scene i, Line 34

Well there’s a bit of Shakespeare for you. The actual line that I picked was Silius’s Where is he now?, but I couldn’t bring myself to give you just that. The he that both of these guys are referencing is Antony.

Ventidius is one of Antony’s generals and he’s just won an important battle. But he’s decided to downplay the victory because he doesn’t want to upstage the Big Guy. Smart fellow this Ventidius. But downplay or not, they’ve gotta hustle off to Athens to let the boss know that Parthia’s been beaten.

I picked a line from this same scene nine years ago and at that time had more to say about this topic. Here’s the link if you’d like to read more about this idea of not outshining the guy in charge.

Mojo, The Bard, & Me

I would never do anything to outshine you, Mr. Blagys. 

Oh magnificent one!

You can cut the theatrics Mojo; you know darn well that you outshine me every time you show up in the room. 

For crying out loud, you're doing it right now! 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

We know the time since he was mild and affable;

And, if we did but glance a far-off look,

Immediately he was upon his knee,

That all the court admired him for submission:

But meet him now, and, be it in the morn,

When everyone will give time of day,

He knits his brow, and shows an angry eye,

And passeth by with stiff unbowed knee,

Disdaining duty that to us belongs.

 

Queen Margaret

King Henry the Sixth Part II   Act III, Scene i, Line 17

The Queen, Suffolk, Cardinal Beaufort, Buckingham, and York are talking about the king’s uncle, Gloster. King Henry is here as well, and it seems that this whole crew is trying to convince Henry that his uncle is treasonous. Margeret, in Today’s Lines is noting that Gloster used to be perfectly subservient to the king and queen, as he should be, 

And, if we did but glance a far-off look,

Immediately he was upon his knee,

But now, not so much. Now he’ll just give you the hairy eyeball, 

And passeth by with stiff unbowed knee,

Disdaining duty that to us belongs.

A lot of talk about the knee, eh? In any event, Margaret is saying that this attitude of Gloster's just proves that he's up to no good.

But does it really? To be clear, I’m not sure who’s the schemer(s) here. Is Gloster actually plotting something treasonous, or does this whole group just want him out of the way for their own purposes. Methinks it’s probably the latter, but again, I don’t know. I do, however, know that King Henry’s not buying it. As far as he’s concerned Gloster has done nothing wrong at all.

No matter though; with all those guys, and the queen, against him, I’m pretty sure that Gloster’s goose is cooked. So much for due process and all that silly stuff.

Well, that’s politics.

No, don’t worry, I’m not going to get into twenty-first century relevance of this stuff. I’ll let you go there yourself if you find it appropriate.

Mojo, any interest in taking this further?

  

Look at that cloud over there, Mr. Blagys. It's shaped just like a piece those chicken treats that Mrs. Blagys gives me.

I guess not.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I know not.

Some Other

Timon of Athens         Act III, Scene vi, Line 86

How about that! The line is I know not. Today, we would probably be more likely to say I don’t know, but either way it means the same thing. And who said Today’s Line? Some Other. So we don’t really know who said it either.

It’s just a lot of nothing. And we all know what will come of nothing:

Nothing will come of nothing!

 

Excuse me, but you don’t need that little red piece there, do you?

Were you even listening to any of what I said about Today’s Line?

What line? I know not about any line. But really, you don’t need that piece, do you? Nothing will come of it if I take it, right?

Uggghhhh!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

                                              

Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge: so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility.

 

Sir Nathaniel

Love’s Labour’s Lost         Act IV, Scene ii, Line 55

 

Okay, this time you can say that this is pretty much unintelligible. It is. But, in Will’s defense, it’s supposed to be just that. Well, sort of.

Perge – proceed.

Abrogate - repeal or do away with (a law, right, or formal agreement)

Scurrility - the quality or state of being scurrilous, which is using or given to coarse language

So then, Sir Nathaniel is saying to Holofernes,

Proceed Master Holofernes, proceed since it will make you happy to do away with this coarse language.

This scene is with Dull, the constable (a plain spoken fellow), Holofernes, the schoolmaster (a fellow who uses big words to impress people) and Sir Nathaniel, a clergyman (who is impressed by Holofernes's big words).

There’s a lot of big words being bandied about (like Today’s Line), but I’m not sure there’s much of anything being said.

Comedy, eh?

I do believe I've left the lad speechless. How about that!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                               

Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood,

The letter was not nice, but full of charge

Of dear import; and the neglecting it

May do much danger. Friar John, go hence;

Get me an iron crow, and bring it straight

Unto my cell.

 

Friar Laurence

Romeo and Juliet               Act V, Scene ii, Line 18

 

Friar Knucklehead’s plan is starting to unravel here.

First off, an iron crow is a crowbar. I’m just bringing that up because I’m liable to say iron crow the next time I mean crowbar, which, to be fair, isn’t all that often. But nevertheless…

Now, back to the unravelling plan. Recall that the plan was for Romeo to return from Mantua (where he’s been banished to) in order to rescue Juliet from the crypt. Also recall that Juliet would be trapped in the crypt because she took the sleeping potion to make everyone think she had died. And finally, recall that Friar Laurence, aka Friar Knucklehead, sent a message to Romeo about the plan via Friar John. Well now in this scene we have Friar John returning having NOT delivered the message to Romeo. Why not?

Going to find a barefoot brother out,

On of our order, to associate me,

Here in this city visiting the sick,

And finding him, the searchers of the town,

Suspecting that we both were in a house

Where the infectious pestilence did reign,

Seal’d up the doors, and would not let us forth;

So that my speed to Mantua there was stay’d.

 

In other words, Friar John managed to get himself trapped in a quarantined house, and he never even got out of Verona. So Romeo got NO message. Oh boy. Now Father Knucklehead’s gotta go rescue Juliet from the crypt himself.

Quick, get the iron crow!

 

 I think we’ll just sit this one out.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines 

                                            

To whose hands have you sent the lunatic king?

Speak.

Regan

King Lear             Act III, Scene vii, Line 45

 

The answer to Regan’s question, in case you were wondering, is Dover. Gloster has sent the king to Dover. Why did he send him to Dover? He answers Regan, 

Because I would not see thy cruel nails

Pluck out his poor old eyes; nor thy fierce sister

In his anointed flesh stick boorish fangs. 

To protect him from you, you bitch, and your fanged sister, that’s what Gloster answers. And whilst that my be a good answer, it’s not going to serve him very well. In fact, it will end up being poor old Gloster’s eyes that get plucked out. 

Yeah, Gloster does not make out well in this play. Poor old guy.

Poor old guy. I would never let that happen to you, Mr. Blagys. I would protect you. 

I know you would, Mojo. Thank you.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

                                              

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

John of Gaunt

King Richard the Second         Act II, Scene i, Line 31

                                 

I’m going to do something completely different today by doing something the same. We’re going to spend a second day on yesterday’s line. Yup, you heard right.

In particular, we’ll work with the first two lines of yesterday’s speech. I feel I owe it to you after throwing so much at you yesterday.

Remember that yesterday I gave you a boatload of context, so there’s no need to repeat all that nonsense. The only thing I will repeat is that John of Gaunt is giving this speech on his deathbed. So…

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired

And thus, expiring, do foretell of him:

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired. I love that! That is a great line that you can use to preface literally anything you want to say. Well, almost anything. Obviously, since you’re (hopefully) not going to be on your deathbed (expiring), and you’re not (at least not always) going to be passing judgement on someone, you can generally leave out the second line about expiring and fortelling of him. Just use the first line and then add whatever particular thought you were going to throw out in the first place.

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired; why don’t we forget about trying to decide on a restaurant and just throw a few burgers on the grill.

Get the idea? It’s perfect. And it’s only seven words, six if you count the hyphened new-inspired as one.

I love it. Yeah, that’s all we’ve got for today.

 

 

Methinks I am a prophet new-inspired to have come up with the idea of spending two days on the same Totally Random Line!

Urrrgghhh! Make him stop, please make him stop.