Mojo, The Bard, & Me

If thou do this, I’ll show thee wondrous things.

 

-Aaron

 

Titus Andronicus                              Act V, scene i       Line 55

Okay, let’s not be fooled! I know, this sounds like it’s a line that’s leading us to good things. Not so. Look at what play it’s from. Look at the speaker. We’ve had three lines from this play already, one of them by Aaron. Have any of them portended anything good? No. Will this one? No. So don’t get your hopes up.

On the other hand, if you’d like, we can take this line completely out of context and just work with the words given. Yes, we could do that because, remember, the only rule that we are bound by in working with these lines: There are no rules. Yes, I stole that form Rat Race, one of my favorite movies of all time. But it’s true. Did Will work by any rules? No, not really. And that’s how he was able to come up with this fabulous stuff, these wondrous things.

Oh fiddlesticks. I can’t do that. The wondrous things that Aaron’s talking about… well wait, first things first. The If thou do this that he’s talking about is if they don’t kill his infant son. So he’s trying to prevent yet another murder, this one infanticide. But at least for once he’s trying to prevent a murder. And the wondrous things he’ll show them? He’s not actually going to show them anything, he’s going to tell them stuff. He’s going to tell about murders, rapes, and massacres, Acts of black night, abominable deeds, complots of mischief, treason, villainies ruthful to hear, yet piteously performed. His words, not mine. Yes, that’s the wondrous things. Gives you pause to think what Aaron’s definition of the word wondrous is, doesn’t it?

So where does that leave us? Scratching our heads, I should say, and wondering how Will could have written a play so completely full of horrible stuff. Is there even just one scene in this play that doesn’t involve some of these wondrous things? It doesn’t appear so. Well, at least he’s consistent.

Tarzan won't come down when we're doing a line from Titus anymore. He hides up in the ceiling joists. Can you see him up there? Wait, here's a close up.

I can't get him anywhere near my desk. This stuff from Titus just freaks him out.