Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

True; who bears hard

His brother’s death at Bristol, the Lord Scroop.
I speak not this in estimation,
As what I think might be, but what I know
Is ruminated, plotted, and set down,

And only stays but to behold the face

Of that ovation that shall bring it on

 

Worcester

King Henry the Fourth Part I       Act I, Scene iii, Line 282

Before I forget - Lord Scroop, what a great name! But let’s not spend time on that.

So, Worcester, Northumberland, and the latter’s son, Hotspur are discussing rebellion against Henry IV. In Today’s Totally Random Lines Worcester is talking about the Archbishop of York who, he says, is just waiting for the right opportunity to rebel against Henry as well.

If you recall, on Monday we had a line from later in this saga (actually, Monday’s line was from Henry IV Part Two, but it's just a continuation of the same story). At that point these rebels had lost a battle and were talking about getting the Archbishop to join them. So apparently, regardless of what’s being said here, they started the rebellion without the archbishop and came up with this idea of getting him in on it again in Part Two.
I wonder what happened. Based on today’s lines it looks like they were ready to get this guy in on it. Well, this is Act I of Henry IV Part One. That line from Monday is Act I of Henry IV Part Two. So basically, a whole play happened, that’s what.

I did some perusing through Part One, and I can’t seem to find any mention of them deciding that they didn’t need the archbishop in order to get the rebellion started. Well, that’s going to turn out to be a miscalculation for them.

It’s interesting to note that the crew talking about getting the help of the archbishop in Part Two is a different set of guys, except for Northumberland, from the crew talking about it here, in Part One. I don’t know about Worcester, but Hotspur was killed in the battle at the end of Part One, so that’s why he’s not there in Part Two.

That’s a pretty fool-proof excuse for not showing up at a meeting.

“Where the heck is Jenkins! He’s supposed to be presenting on the new sales initiative.”

“He’s dead sir.”

“Oh. Well who’s going to present then!?”

And the show goes on; with or without Hotspur, with or without Jenkins.

A sticker that my wife got me.

 No, it's got nothing to do with Hotspur, or the archbishop, or Scroop, or Jenkins. But it's a good sticker, and I think it was made specifically for me. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Mustard-seed

 

Mustard-seed

A Midsummer Night’s Dream       Act III, Scene i, Line 91

Mustard-seed is answering when Bottom asks him his name. Bottom is meeting the four fairies of Titania right here. He’s met Cobweb and Peas-blossom. I’m not sure if we get to know the name of the fourth one. In any event, here is Bottom’s reply to Mustard-seed.

Good Master Mustard-seed, I know your patience well: that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath devour’d many a gentleman of your house: I promise you your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now. I desire you more acquaintance, good Master Mustard-seed.

He has something quirky like that to say to Cobweb and Peas-blossom, and of all of them he desires more acquaintance. And the fourth fairy - what happened to him? I guess that’s a mystery for the ages.

Wait, I just looked ahead. It’s Moth; but he doesn’t get to talk in this scene. Well, so much about the mystery. Moth is the name of the fourth fairy. I guess we’ll have to find something else to wonder about. That shouldn’t be hard.

Well, here's yesterday's mystery solved. The missing muffins. Actually, these aren't exactly the same muffins, and now there's three instead of two. But this is exactly what yesterday's muffins looked like (if there had been three of them).

And also, more relevant to today's line: That bag of chips there - do you know what they are? I'll bet you don't. Those are mustard flavored Doritos. I kid you not: made, presumably, from mustard-seed. So there you go. 

Mustard-seed. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

His absence, sir,

Lays blame upon his promise. Please’t your highness

To grace us with your royal company.

 

Ross

Macbeth                  Act III, Scene iv, Line 80

Macbeth has just made note that Banquo hasn’t shown up for the banquet, even though he promised to. Of course, Macbeth knows why Banquo’s not there. He, Macbeth, sent out two guys to murder Banquo.

Today’s lines are Ross’s reply to Macbeth.

Lays blame upon his promise. That’s interesting phraseology, isn’t. The words are simple, and I believe the 1590 meaning of each of them is the same as it is today. But even though you might hear each of these words today, you probably wouldn’t hear them put together like this. You’d probably hear 2023 Ross say, ‘So much for his promise to show up, eh?’

Lays blame upon his promise. I wonder if that was common phraseology for the day, or if our buddy Will was practicing his usual linguistic gymnastics? His failure to show up laid blame on his promise. I’m not sure I exactly understand how that works, or exactly what it’s saying. Ah wait; if I lay blame on someone, then they did it. So if we lay blame on the promise, then the promise is the culprit. Does that make sense. How is the promise the culprit. Isn’t Banquo the culprit for not showing up (never mind Macbeth being the culprit for having him killed). What is it saying if the promise is the culprit. Still thinking. Banquo shouldn’t have made the promise. It turned out to be an empty promise. And I guess an empty promise is something to be considered the culprit. And perhaps, since Will knows that it’s really not Banquo’s fault anyway (since he’s been murdered), he’s extending that lack of fault to Ross’s comment. Does that make any sense? It’s hard to tell, isn’t it. Nonetheless, it’s a nice phrase.

See, now this is a line, or a part of a line, that would make a good discussion in a class. Wouldn’t it? You could personalize it.

“Okay, let’s just say that Wally here promised to bring in donuts for everybody today. But Wally, you didn’t bring in any donuts. I guess we could say that the lack of donuts lays blame on your promise. So are we saying that the promise is at fault, and not Wally? How does that make sense?”

And that would quickly devolve into a discussion of Wally and donuts. Who knew that Will wrote about a twenty-first century kid named Wally and his donuts, or lack thereof. Amazing!

Naturally, I wanted to give you a pic of donuts, since of a pic of Wally would be impossible. However, today I had muffins not donuts. To further complicate the situation, I've eaten the muffins. But that's where they were a little while ago, right in the empty spot there on my desk. So perhaps you can just imagine two home baked bran muffins sitting right there. 

Amazing!

 

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I will, and so will she, I know, my lord.

 

Boyet

Love’s Labour’s Lost             Act V, Scene ii, Line 314

Lotta commas there. You’ll what, so she’ll what? Let’s see, two lines up Boyet told the king to command him to do anything regarding the princess. Then the king said,

That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.

There’s that word vouchsafe again. I’m always forgetting what it means and it’s not always easy figure it out from context. It means allow, permit, or grant to. He wants the princess to grant him an audience, and Boyet says no problem.

And that’s that. Short and sweet for today.

Not even a pic; that's how short and sweet it is.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

But now the bishop

Turns insurrection to religion:

Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,

He’s follow’d both with body and with mind;

And doth enlarge his rising with the blood

Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret stones;

Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;

Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land,

Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;

And more and less do flock to him.

 

Morton

King Henry the Fourth Part II      Act I, Scene i, Line 202

Morton and Northumberland are discussing the rebellion against Henry IV that they are leading and that they appear to be losing. In today’s lines Morton brings up the Archbishop of York who is inspiring people to rebellion through his religion. I believe Northumberland’s going to make plans to join forces with the bishop.

What, you didn’t get that the archbishop was inspiring people to rebellion through his religion when you read today’s Totally Random Daily Lines? Oh come on! Okay then, you want the Pete Version? Fine.

Morton starts off his speech, preceding Today’s Totally Random Lines, by saying that the people under their command in this rebellion are torn: they want to fight, but their consciouses tell them that rebellion is wrong.

But the bishop turns rebellion into being a part of religion.

He shows sincerity and holiness in his thoughts,

And the people follow him with body and mind.

He grows the ranks of his followers by talking about how King Richard (the guy that Henry IV stole the throne from) was murdered by Henry at Pomfret Castle.

He tells the people that God is on the side of a rebellion.

He tells the people that the land is bleeding and gasping for life under the leadership of Henry IV (Henry IV was known as Bolingbroke before he became Henry IV).

And in this way the bishop has drawn many people to his side.

 

Got it now? Good.

No religion needed to draw this little guy to your side;

just a nice cool melona popsicle.

Ahhhhhh.

 

 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

So I have. Farewell

The hopes of court! My hopes in heaven do dwell.

 

Cardinal Wolsey

King Henry the Eighth          Act III, Scene ii, Line 459

Good sir, have patience. That’s the preceding line by Cromwell that the Cardinal is responding to. He’s had patience, he says, but apparently he’s out of hope.

Okay, I listened to the latter part of this scene. As you can see by the line number, it’s not a very short scene. The first part of the scene is the king losing favour with Wolsey and the realization by Wolsey and everyone else that his days in the court are numbered. Then he’s left alone to muse about his downfall until his protégé Cromwell shows up. The scene ends with these two talking and the Cardinal pretty much saying goodbye to Cromwell. Today’s Totally Random Line is the rhyming couplet that is the end of this long scene.

Question: why didn't he use heav'n in that last line to take out a syllable and make it a perfect line of iambic pentameter? Yup, there I go again, questioning the art of Will. Atta boy, Pete. Atta boy.

I'm pretty sure I've used my Henry the Eighth pencil for a pic previously, but I couldn't think of anything better for today, so here you go.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

 

Pinch

The Comedy of Errors           Act IV, Scene iv, Line 52

Okay, I’m not familiar with this Pinch fellow, but I’d like to say that anyone who has any trouble understanding today’s line, well then they don’t speak English very well. The response is even better though. It’s from Antipholus of Ephesus.

There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
                                             [striking him]

Slapstick. It’s as old as the hills. Or at least, apparently, as old as Shakespeare. 

(17) The Three Stooges 2023 - Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise | Best Comedy TV Show from 1934 - YouTube

Here you go. You can't get more classic slapstick than this. Just like Shakespeare!