Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, courage, courage, princes! Great Achilles

Is arming, weeping, cursing, vowing vengeance:

Ulysses

Troilus And Cressida          Act V, Scene vi, Line 30

 

One of the many subplots in this play is about Achilles, the best fighter that the Greeks have, not wanting to fight anymore. Also, he’s got a group of soldiers called the myrmidons who only fight when he fights, so this has been a problem for the Greek leaders. Well now Patroclus has been killed and hacked up by the Trojans. Patroclus was the very good friend (most would say more than just friend) of Achilles, so now Achilles is on the warpath. That is the news that Ulysses is giving to the Greek leaders. It’s great news to them. Finally, their best fighter is arming, weeping, cursing, vowing vengeance. What could be better?

Arming, weeping, cursing, vowing vengeance: sounds like you when you get too hungry.

Yes Mojo, just like me.

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

A charge too heavy for my strength; but yet

We’ll strive to bear it, for your worthy sake,

To th’extreme edge of hazard.

Bertram

All’s Well That Ends Well     Act III, Scene iii, Line 5

 

That’s right, this is the beginning of the scene. The Duke just told Bertram that the latter is in command of the cavalry and they’re putting all their hopes on him. I’m not sure what exactly they’re hoping for, I guess it’s just that he’ll be a good leader, but it appears that Bertram is going to give it his best shot. So you’ve got to admire that. It’s pretty much all you can ask of anyone. He’s going to strive to bear the charge they’ve given him To th’extreme edge of hazard.

But wait a minute, To the edge of hazard? Then what? Not into the hazard itself? When he gets really close to the hazard he’s going to turn and run? He’s willing, though, to go to the extreme edge, not just any old edge. This just gets more interesting the more I look at it.

 

Listen, I’m stuck here, but there’s still time for you to leave. Believe me, he’s going to be beating this thing to death for a while; with my luck, all day.

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sir, my name is Lucio; well known to the duke.

Lucio

Measure For Measure   Act III, Scene ii, Line 162

Okay, here’s what we’ve got today. Lucio and the Duke are in this scene, but the Duke is disguised as a Friar. Lucio has no idea that this Friar that he's talking to is the Duke. Meantime he is bad mouthing the Duke, and he’s claiming be a personal friend of the Duke. The Duke/Friar has never met Lucio before, which is why he had to ask him what his name was.

So this is a setup that’s been used a million times, on stage, in movies, and in television. I doubt that Will invented it, but who knows. Yes, some of the humor in Will’s Comedies is pure Laugh-In stuff.

Now, do you know what I’m talking about when I say Laugh-In?  You do? Man, you’re old! 

 

Did you know that I’m a personal friend of the guy who makes the rules about whether or not people like me should be allowed to root around in the kitchen garbage, and he said it would be okay.

 

First off Mojo, you’re not a people, second, I’m the guy who says you can’t root around in this garbage, and third, this is neither Measure For Measure nor Laugh-In. Now, get your nose out of the garbage!

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I swear to thee, by Cupid’s strongest bow,

By his best arrow with the golden head,

By the simplicity of Venus’ doves,

By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,

And by that fire which burn’d the Carthage queen,

When the false Troyan under sail was seen:

By all the vows that ever men have broke,

In number more than ever women spoke;--

In that same place thou hast appointed me,

To-morrow truly will I meet with thee.

Hermia

A Midsummer Night’s Dream       Act I, Scene i, Line 198

Well then - At first blush it might appear that Hermia is making quite a big deal out of promising to meet with Lysander tomorrow. But it’s a bit more than that. Lysander has proposed that they meet tomorrow in order to run off and get married. That’s what Hermia is agreeing to do. So that’s a pretty big deal and makes all this promising and swearing to be a bit more appropriate.

But wouldn’t it be fun to use this whole thing to tell someone that you agree to a meeting tomorrow. I’m talking about an everyday meeting.

Don
So Pete, I’d like to sit down with you to discuss the tax implications of this deal. Do you think we could meet tomorrow sometime in the afternoon?

Pete
I swear to thee, Don, by Cupid’s strongest bow…
…Tomorrow truly I will meet with thee.
And give him all ten lines of it.

Of course, that would require setting all ten lines to memory. I used to be really good at that, but I’m not sure I’ve still got that in me. Still, this is only ten lines, so maybe I should give it a try.

Oh yeah, that’s a great idea. What else could you possibly do that would be a better use of your time than spend it memorizing ten lines of Shakespeare.

Jesus, this guy is a piece of work.

I heard that!

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

A thousand times the worse, to want thy light.—

Romeo

Romeo and Juliet           Act II, Scene i, Line 198

  

Juliet

A thousand times good night!

Romeo

A thousand times the worse to want thy light.—

Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books;

But love from love, toward school with heavy looks.

There, that’s just a little context for Today’s Totally Random Line. So, do you know what scene this is? That’s right, it’s the very famous, O Romeo. Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? balcony scene; perhaps the most well-known of any of Will’s scenes. If you asked one hundred random people to give you just one line from Shakespeare, that O Romeo line would probably be the answer you’d get more than any other.

But that line is at the beginning of the scene, and our line for today is nearer the end. They’re saying good night, but it will take a while for them to get through their good nights. There are lots of people who are like this with their good-byes. They can take forever. These two don’t take forever, but it does go on for a while. 

I listened to this scene in its entirety this morning. It’s only eleven minutes long. It’s all about how much they love each other. I’m sorry if I’m being cynical, but I couldn’t help think, as I listened to this scene, that these two just met in the previous scene where they spoke a total of eighteen lines to each other. Now, in today’s scene they’re pledging everlasting love and talking about marriage. Ummm....

This is a shot of our front door taken from the outside. Patrice has been keeping tabs on this spiderette (I'm assuming it's female) for a while now. The white and light brown blur to the left of it, on the other side of the thick black line, is Mojo, inside, in his bed. Since the spiderette is on the outside looking in, I've revised today's roles and given the lines to her. You'll notice I gave Mojo an extra syllable, but just for today. So it's not Romeo and Juliet, but rather...

  Mojeo and Spiderette.

 

A thousand times I stare in every night.--

But always from the out to in I look;

I'm stuck here like a bug, I'm such a schnook. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Madame, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you.

 

Malvolio

Twelfth Night         Act I, Scene v, Line 138

 

Malvolio is a bit of a straight man in this comedy. He is the head servant in Olivia’s house. Olivia is the madame that he is addressing. The young fellow he refers to is Viola, who is disguised as a young man for most of this play. The name she is using is Cesario, but the script throughout refers to her as Viola.

Olivia and Viola are two of the main characters in this play and I’m constantly confusing those two names because they are similar and sort of inversions of each other. If I were ever to discuss this play and someone mentioned Olivia or Viola, I would have to ask which one they were talking about. Of course, no one I know has any interest in Shakespeare other than my brother-in-law Richard, and he lives in Phoenix. So, it’s not very often, if ever, that I have to ask for this clarification.

Isn’t that lucky?

Yessiree, lucky. That's the exact word I was thinking of. Lucky for him he lives in Pheonix, so he doesn't have to listen to this guy ramble on, and on, and...

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

                No, my good lord;

Nor wish’d to hold my peace

Lucio

Measure For Measure     Act V, Scene i, Line 79

 

Lucio is listed in the cast of characters as a fantastic. I looked that up in my Shakespeare glossary… that is, I tried to look it up, but found nothing. So what is Lucio? He is, for the most part, comic relief in this play. He has a small role to play as the go-between for Isabella and her brother, Claudio, but mostly he just makes funny (sometimes not so funny) comments. 

In today's case the duke is questioning Isabella, and Lucio throws in his two cents. The duke then says to Lucio, You were not bid to speak, and Lucio responds with Today’s Line: No, but I wasn’t asked to keep quiet either. It’s kind of a wise-ass retort which could get a laugh I suppose, if delivered properly.

What on earth is Mojo staring so intently at? 

Is there some comic relief to be had?

Not exactly; 

it's Bird.