Wednesday, March 18, 2020


I say the earth did shake when I was born.

-Owen Glendower

King Henry The Fourth Part I               Act III, scene i, line 21


Glendower here is going to insist that the earth literally shook when he was born, and Hotspur’s going to argue with him. And in this scene it’s hard to tell which is the bigger fool.

I’ve learned that there are a lot of people out there like Glendower. They are convinced that they are right and they’re not going to back down NO MATTER WHAT. And do you want to know how I deal with this kind of person? I don’t. I walk away. I will not waste my time with this sort. 

Can you think of anyone who reminds you of Glendower? I can.

Saturday, March 7, 2020


Ah, my sweet Moor, sweeter to me than life!



-Tamora



Titus Andronicus                                 Act II, scene iii, line 51



Okay, now before you start thinking that we’ve got a nice sweet line here, remember what play we're looking at. Yes, Titus. So even though the word sweet is used twice in this line, beware; it is not a sweet line. You don’t believe me? Okay, here’s the context.


Tamora, who’s married to Saturninus, has just run into Aaron the Moor, her old buddy. She tries to get Aaron to make love to her, but he’s too busy. Busy doing what? Well he’s plotting the murder of Bassianus, Saturninus’s brother. And he’s going to see that two of Titus’s sons will get blamed for it. And just to make it a little more interesting, he’s going to set up the rape of Lavina by Tamora’s two sons. And of course after the rape they’ll cut out her tongue and cut off her hands.

And when Aaron explains to Tamora what he’s up to, what does she say?



Ah, my sweet Moor, sweeter to me than life!



So, still think it’s a sweet line?


Okay, no tricks here. This really is a sweet picture. We need one after that unsweet line. That's Nina sitting in a clothes basket banging down some milk, and that's her cousin Laura with what appears to be an empty glass, perhaps wondering how she can get a little of cuz's beverage. I'm not sure exactly how this scene ended, but I'm pretty sure it turned out okay for all involved.



Thursday, March 5, 2020


Well thought on: take my sword,
Give it the captain.

-Edmund

King Lear                                Act V, scene iii, line 253


Okay, this is the last scene of the play. You want context? I’ll give you context.
Everything is coming together here and Edmund (the bad brother) has just turned good and he’s told Edgar (the good brother) to go run quick and save Lear and Cordelia. It seems that Edmund sent them away with a captain and he gave orders to the captain to kill Cordelia. So now he’s telling Edgar about this and telling him to run and go stop the captain. Edgar says that he needs some token to prove to the captain that Edmund has given the order to stop the killing, and Edmund replies with today’s line. He gives Edgar his sword so that Edgar can prove to the captain that the order came from Edmund.
There, that’s your context. Of course, we know (spoiler alert) that Edgar will not arrive in time, and that Cordelia is already dead. Thought: is it really necessary to note spoiler alerts for something that was written four hundred years ago?

So then, what of it? What of today’s Totally Random line? How about just the Well thought on part, or in other words, good idea. How about if we stick with that one. Let’s see if we can’t supplant good idea with well thought on. I think that might be interesting to try. You’ll just have to remember the next time you’re thinking of replying with good idea.

‘What do think about going to the movies tonight?’
‘Well thought on!’
‘Huh?’
‘Well thought on. You know, good idea.’
‘Oh, yeah, right. So do you want to go or not?’

Yeah, this could be harder than I thought.

Okay, do you know what this is? It's some ancient Roman ruins in Merida Spain. And do you know what the white columns and modern structure is? It's the foundation of the apartment building that's directly above me. Yes, they found the ruins, but they wanted to build the apartment building anyway. So they did just that: they preserved the ruins and they built the apartments on top of them. Well thought on, eh?


Wednesday, March 4, 2020


A blessed labour, my most solemn liege:

-Gloucester

Richard III                              Act II, scene i, line 52


Richard (Gloucester) has just entered the room and his brother King Edward IV has informed him that they have just made peace enmity, fair love of hate, Between these swelling wrong-incensed peers. And Richard responds with today’s Totally Random line. But of course that’s complete baloney on the part of Richard because he, more than any other, is responsible for all of the discord that Edward has been attempting to settle. 

Richard is a good example of someone who is not what he purports to be. In this play he’s a downright weasel. Historians differ as to how much of a weasel he actually was, and how much of his weaselness was made up or exaggerated by Will for the sake of drama. But in this play, make no mistake about it; he is a weasel.

This is my impersonation of a weasel. Well, sort of. It's actually an otter, but that's pretty close. What do you think?

  Today’s Totally Random Lines                  How, my lord! What cheer? How is’t with you, best brother? Polixenes The Winter’s ...