Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter

Call’d Katharina, fair and virtuous?

 

Petruchio

The Taming of the Shrew      Act II, Scene i, Line 42

So, I guess this is the first time that Petruchio is going to meet Katharine, the titular shrew. But he goes into it with a good attitude, doesn’t he? He’s expecting a fair and virtuous woman. And the funny thing is that a fair and virtuous woman is exactly what he gets. It’s everyone else who considers her a shrew, but not Petruchio.

It’s an odd bit of a play, and just one more of Will’s works that gets a good deal of pushback in 2024. But like many of his other works, it requires looking beyond the surface. Like much of life, it’s best not to judge based strictly on appearance.

Take this picture, for instance. If you were to make a judgement based purely on what you see here, you might assume that Mojo is an incredibly spoiled little man; and yet the reality is…um…

Okay, that might not be the best example of what I’m talking about.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Whate’er it be, be thou still like thyself,

And sit thee by our side: yield not thy neck

To fortune’s yoke, but let thy dauntless mind

Still ride in triumph over all mischance.

 

King Louis

King Henry the Sixth Part III       Act III, Scene iii, Line 15

There you go; there’s your pep talk for the day: Don’t let the bastards get you down!

Undaunted!

I'm talking about the little guy, not me; I get daunted all the time.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

The fardel there? What’s i’the fardel? Wherefore that box.

 

Autoclycus

The Winter’s Tale          Act IV, Scene iii, Line 764

The fardel. Well now, that’s a kind of funny sounding word, isn’t it? Believe it or not, it’s in the online Merriam Webster. It’s a bundle or a burden. Perhaps you recognize it from the famous To be, or not to be soliloquy: Who would fardels bear. 

And also remember that wherefore is why, not where. Wherefore art thou Romeo meant Why are you Romeo (and not someone that my family won’t hate)? 

So basically, Today’s Line is That bundle there, what’s in it? And why that box? Pretty simple, eh?   

Now, I almost hate to say it, but I really think we should start using fardel. I mean, wherefore not?

No fardels here!

Not a care in the world for these two. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

And how you may be converted, I know not; but methinks you look with your eyes as other women do.

 

Margaret

Much Ado About Nothing             Act III, Scene iv, Line 85

Ahhh, the famous methinks! Methinks I’ve run into methinks before in doing these lines, but for some reason it’s really jumping out at me this morning. This is one sixteenth century word that you can use in 2024, and methinks that no one will bat an eye at it.

So, no worries about the rest of today’s line- meaning, context, whatever. We’ll just wallow in the sunlight of methinks, and methinks that’ll be just fine.

Methinks there'll be no metaphorical sunshine wallowing for this character;

he much prefers wallowing in the literal sunshine. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Your loving uncle, twenty times his worth,

 

Earl of Salisbury

King Henry the Sixth, Part II       Act III, Scene ii, Line 268

 

There, today I gave you the one line as opposed to the full sentence, or full thought. Why? Because the full sentence was sixteen lines long and the full thought even more.

So, should i give you the full sixteen lines? Or more? Or should I just explain who the uncle is and why Salisbury is talking about him? Or none of the above? How about if I just fill in the names.

Your loving uncle Gloucester is twenty times Suffolk’s worth.

Right. There you have it then. What’s that? Who is Gloster, and why does the Earl of Salisbury think he is worth twenty Suffolks? Well that’s a question for another day.

No, Mr. Stripes, I did not say anything about salisbury steak.

And by the way, what are you doing standing on the counter, and where on earth did you get that outfit?

How does this guy even know what salisbury steak is?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

HENCE! Home, you idle creatures, get you home:

Flavius

Julius Caesar         Act I, Scene i, Line 1

 

That’s right, it’s the first line of the play. What’s going on here? I’m not sure.

Flavius is listed as a tribune. That’s the same as a U.S. Representative. Why is he yelling at the people? Again, I’m not sure.

Okay, I listened to/read the whole first scene here. It’s short, less than five minutes. It seems that the people are in the streets to celebrate Julius Caesar’s triumphant return to Rome. It also seems that Flavius and another tribune are not happy with this. They see Caesar as a threat to the common good. I wasn’t aware of the fact that there was a faction in the tribunes that felt the same way as Brutus and Cassius. I don’t think these two, Flavius and his buddy Marullus, show up again in the play. I guess they’re just there to let us know that not everyone is happy about the thought of Caesar becoming supreme leader, so that we won’t be caught off guard by Brutus’s and Cassius’s desire to get rid of Caesar.

As I’ve said before, this play, and perhaps Coriolanus, are really good studies of politics and leadership. Covering these two plays in high school would go a long way towards bringing about some good discussions of where we are today.

They should put me in charge of the curriculum, eh?

And here's the reason you haven't seen any posts since last week. That's right, we went to the Minnesota State Fair. 

And we left poor Mojo back here in CT, so he didn't make it into the pic (or today's post). If they let pooches into the Fair we would've brought him. But alas, no. 

In any event, we have now got ourselves home, idle creatures that we are. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Indeed I think the young king loves you not.

 

Warwick

Henry the Fourth Part II       Act V, Scene ii, Line 9

 

That’s fairly well self-explanatory, but how about a little context.

Henry the Fourth has just died. The young king referred to above is his son, young Hal, who is now Henry the Fifth. Warwick is talking to the Lord Chief Justice and it just so happens that this Lord Chief Justice administered some punishment to young Hal a few years back. Now he’s afraid that this is going to come back and bite him in the ass.

What do you think? Will the new, young king remember and seek retribution on the Lord Chief Justice, or will he forgive and forget?

Here you go. You can find out for yourself. It’s an interesting read, and not too long; about 170 lines. Go ahead, you can do it. 

King Henry IV, Part II (shakespeare-online.com)

Uh huh, hmmm, oohhh.

There you go. Mojo obviously finds it interesting, and if he can take the time out of his busy schedule to read it, so can you.

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Many a time hath banisht Norfolk fought

For Jesu Christ in glorious Christian field,

Streaming the ensign of the Christian cross

Against black pagans, Turks, and Saracens;

And toil’d with works of war, retired himself

To Italy; and there, at Venice, gave

His body to that pleasant country’s earth,

And his pure soul unto his captain Christ,

Under whose colours he had fought so long.

 

Bishop of Carlisle

King Richard the Second       Act IV, Scene i, Line 96

 

That’s a pretty long way of saying that Norfolk’s not going to be returning. 

The first seventy lines of this scene are about Bagot, Aumerle, Fitzwater, and a bunch of others arguing over who’s telling the truth. Bolingbroke is overseeing this imbroglio and says that everyone’s differences will be settled when Norfolk returns. The bishop responds, letting them all know that Norfolk’s not going to be returning. Apparently, Norfolk outsmarted them all and retired to Venice where he passed away peacefully. It sounds a little more like something more from a modern movie script than from Shakespeare, doesn't it?

Mr. World Traveler, who thinks he belongs in a movie, hasn't yet been to Venice; but he's hopeful. 

Yes Mojo, you're right, that guy's seat is not lay-flat. You have a much nicer seat in your "special private traveling cabin"

(that's what he likes to call the pet carrier).

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Good morrow to your majesty and to my gracious mother.

 

Cloten

Cymbeline                      Act II, Scene iii, Line 39

Eddie Haskel. People of a certain age will know that name. However, that certain age is mostly over sixty. Eddie Haskel was a character in the 50’s/6o’s television show Leave It To Beaver. Eddie was a friend of one of the main characters, and he was a weasel. When he was alone with his friend Wally (Beaver’s brother – Beaver was the nickname of the main character) Eddie was generally up to no good. But whenever Wally and Beaver’s mother was around Eddie always acted like a goodie two-shoes. “Hello Mrs. Cleaver. You look lovely today Mrs. Cleaver,” he would say, all smiles. Of course, Mrs. Cleaver saw right through his act.

So, why am I dredging up Eddie Haskel? Because he’s what comes to mind when I hear Cloten saying Good morrow to your majesty and my gracious mother. Cloten is a weasel. He’s an Eddie Haskel. In fact, Will’s works are full of Eddie Haskels. Though, to be fair to Eddie, Will’s characters are much worse. Eddie was a weasel, but he was never responsible for getting anyone killed.

Leave It To Beaver, Leave It To Beaver... what channel's that gonna be on?

Mojo that's not... oh never mind.

I don't have the heart to tell him that's the a/c remote.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 Do me the common right

To let me see them, and to make me know

The nature of their crimes, that I may minister

To them accordingly.

 

Duke (disguised as a friar)

Measure For Measure           Act II, Scene iii, Line 6

The Duke, disguised as a friar, is talking to the fellow in charge of the prison. He’s asking him to let him, the Duke/Friar, see the prisoners so that he can tend to their spiritual needs.

Pretty simple, right? 

The only hard part about today’s line was posting it.  We had a power outage last night and my pc files got a little scrambled. 

It took our in-house IT guy close to an hour to get it straightened out. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Under King Harry.

 

Justice Shallow

King Henry the Fourth Part II      Act V, Scene iii, Line 113

Justice Shallow had said that he is operating under the king’s authority, and so was asked which king. This is his answer, which led to another question: Harry the Fourth or Fifth? You might have noticed that this is act five of Harry the Fourth, and so the answer to the question needed to be Harry the Fifth. Unbeknownst to Shallow, Harry the Fourth kicked the bucket in the previous scene and now, as in many of these history plays, Henry the Fifth is king even though we’re still in Henry the Fourth’s play.

Yes Mojo, I see; you're under the covers. It's not quite the same as being under King Harry, but thank you for the demonstration nonetheless.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, what a sympathy of woe is this,--

As far from help as Limbo is from bliss!

 

Titus

Titus Andronicus           Act III, Scene i, Line 145

 

These two line are the end of a seven line bit of Titus’s about the sad state of affairs they are in. And trust me, it is a very sad state of affairs. In fact, this whole play is one big sad state of affairs.

Here's one spoiled little fellow who's very far from being in need of any sympathy. 

In fact, I don't think he could get any further from it.

No Mojo, I don't know what's for dessert.

 

 

 Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I would you had been by the ship-side, to  have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

 

Clown

The Winter’s Tale                  Act III, Scene iii, Line 110

Okay, first of all you should know that The Winter’s Tale has nothing to do with winter. I guess it’s a tale that’s good to be told when you’re in front of the fire on a cold winter’s day.  

Now, as for this particular line: it requires a bit of setup, but I’ll try to keep it as short as I can.

Antigonus has just left a baby on a deserted beach per the king’s orders. For sake of brevity, and sanity, we won’t get into the reason’s he’s doing this. Anyway, he drops it off and then leaves with a very famous Shakespearean stage direction

[Exit, pursued by a bear]

Trust me, anyone who knows anything about Shakespeare knows that bit of stage direction. Now you know it, so you can impress people.

To continue: an old shepherd comes along and finds the baby. He’s marveling over the baby when his son comes into the scene. His son is simply Clown in the script. You’d think they could have given the poor guy a name.

So the son tells the father of two things that he just this moment saw – one was a bear feasting on a guy, and the other was a shipwreck taking place in the rough seas just offshore (that's the boat that Antigonus and the baby arrived on). The Shepherd remarks that he wisht he’d been with his son because he would have tried to have helped the guy getting mauled by the bear. To which the son replies

I would you had been by the ship-side, to have helpt her: there your charity would have lacked footing.

I think that the there that the son is talking about is at the bear attack.

You’d have had better luck trying to save the sailors: any attempt to save the bear-attack guy(your charity) would have been useless (lacked footing).

Phew! That took a lot to get to what this line was about! Well, if one thing’s gonna stick with you, make it the stage direction Exit, pursued by bear. Trust me, it’s a great little piece of Shakespearean factoid. And also, now you know what happened to that guy being chased: he got eaten by the bear. I bet that most of the people who are familiar with that little bit of stage direction don't know that. 

This guy is such a Nervous-Nell. Now he's on the lookout for bears!

No Mojo, there's no bears in this yard: just rabbits.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

O, that your lordship were but now confessor

To one or two of these!

 

Sir Thomas Lovell

King Henry the Eighth          Act I, Scene iv, Line 15

 

Sir Thomas is referring to a group of ladies that has been brought in for a party with the King. I’m not exactly sure what Sir Thomas is meaning with this line, but I’m thinking that it might not be the most wholesome thought that he’s having here. 

How about this character? Is he thinking wholesome thoughts? Well, he's got his eye on something, and he's definitely having thoughts of some sort or another. 

Wholesome or not, you can bet he's thinking about something he probably shouldn't be doing.

 Nothing but trouble, this guy is. 

Nothing but trouble.

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Art not a poet?

 

Apemantus

Timon Of Athens            Act I, Scene i, Line 219

 

Apemantus is asking the Poet if he’s a poet.

What can I possibly have to say about that?

 

You got anything to say about that line, little parrot-man?

He's got nothin'.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Hung be the heavens with black, yield day to night!

Comets, importing change of times and states,

Brandish your crystal tresses in the sky,

And with them scourge the bad revolting stars

That have consented unto Henry’s death.

 

Duke of Bedford

King Henry the Sixth Part I          Act I, Scene i, Line 1

 

That’s right, it’s the first line of the play. Not only that, it’s the first play in my book. So it’s the first possible line to be picked. And not only, not only that, but the book has the plays in chronological order based on when Will wrote them. So this is the first line of any play that Will ever wrote.

Well, not exactly. You see, there is general disagreement on the exact order of Will’s plays. Depending on what Shakespearean scholar you ask, Will’s first play could be this one, or Comedy Of Errors, or Taming Of The Shrew, or… well, you get the idea.

No matter what you think, though, I like to think these are the first lines of Will’s put to paper. It’s the Duke’s exclamation, lamentation, about the death of Henry V. And a fine exclamation, lamentation it is!

Whilst some might claim it’s a little bit overdone, I like it. Can you imagine someone getting up at your funeral to give an elegy and starting with this? I think that would be fabulous! Not that I’m in any rush to be eulogized, mind you.

Hung be the heavens with red, not black!

(I decided to give Mojo the day off)

He claims I've been working him too hard, if you can believe that.

 

Wait, what did he say?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

Ophelia

Hamlet                    Act III, Scene ii, Line 267

It’s Ophelia talking to Hamlet. One thing about this play is that there’s very little said that doesn’t have some hidden meaning. What’s the hidden meaning in Ophelia telling Hamlet that he’s sharp? I don’t know. It’s hidden.

No, no Mojo; you're not hidden. I can still see you. 

I was trying to teach him how to play hide and seek last summer, and he was having a hard time with the concept. Somehow, he thought that since he was sitting in my slipper that would count as being hidden. He's gotten a bit keener since then.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I, gentle mistress.

                           And are you not my husband?

Antipholus of Syracuse

                                Adriana

 

The Comedy of Errors   Act V, Scene i, Line 371

 

It’s one metric line spoken by two different people: the first three words by Antipholus and the rest by Adriana. I say one metric line, but instead of the ten syllables of Will’s normal iambic pentameter, this one’s got twelve. So I’m not sure what’s up with that, but I suppose we should just let it be.

Anyway, this part of the exchange began with Adrian asking Antipholus of Syracuse (whom she has mistaken for her husband, Antipholus of Ephesus) who it was who had dined with her. And his answer to the question of whether or not he is her husband is

No; I say nay to that.  

Now you’d think that she’d be able to recognize her true husband who’s also standing there. We’re at the very end of the play where the two Antipoluses and the two Dromios are finally all in one place at one time. There’s only about fifty lines left in the play, and in those fifty lines everything’s going to be neatly wrapped up. For now, though, confusion still reigns.

Can you imagine if Pete of Syracuse and Mojo of Syracuse showed up in cheshire; perfect doubles of these two - Pete of Cheshire and Mojo of Cheshire.

Well, that could make an interesting story, couldn't it?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

I am very glad on’t.

 

Queen

Cymbeline      Act I, Scene i, Line 163

I’m not sure exactly if the queen is really glad about the news that a swordfight between her son and Posthumus was broken up. It’s a bit confusing, but suffice it to say that the queen in this story is basically the wicked stepmother, so it's hard to tell what she's really thinking most of the time. 

However, let’s not dwell on that, but rather on just being glad. Most of us have much to be glad on. I know I do. I also know that when I concentrate on how much I have to be glad on I find it much harder to be mad or sad. It’s funny how those all rhyme: mad, sad, glad.

Anway, I think we all need to find a way to concentrate on the things that we have to be glad on. That’s a good way to be.

Here's a fellow who has much to be glad on, and I think he knows it.

In case you couldn't find him in the first pic.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

When he stands where I am, and sees you there.

 

Biondello

The Taming Of The Shrew    Act III, Scene ii, Line 40

When will he be here? That is the question that Biondello is answering this morning. On its own, that doesn't appear to make much sense, does it? But, in fact, it's just a smart-ass reply that makes perfect sense. Biondello is simply saying, he'll be here when he's here. Which doesn't tell anyone anything, does it?

When will this post end? It will end when I stop writing. In other words, now.

Why am I giving you a picture of a sleeping baby Mojo?

Why not?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Camillo, sir; I spake with him; who now

Has these poor men in question. Never saw I

Wretches so quake: they kneel, they kiss the earth;

Forswear themselves as often as they speak:

Bohemia stops his ears, and threatens them

With divers death in death.

 

Lord

The Winter’s Tale          Act V, Scene i, Line 199

Let’s get a little context and a little clarity. The poor men in question that the lord is talking about are a shepherd and his son who have little to do with the plot. They just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now Bohemia (that’s the king of Bohemia) apparently is planning to kill them.

Forswear is a modern word, though not that common. In this context it means that the guys in question are contradicting themselves. Divers is the old way of spelling diverse. We’re not talking about scuba divers here. They didn’t use an e on the end of diverse back when they printed this word in the early seventeenth century.

And as far as threatening them with diverse death in death? Well your guess is as good as mine on that, but whilst it’s a little confusing, it sure don’t sound good. I don’t think I’d like to be facing diverse death in death, whatever the heck it means!

No Mojo, Priscilla didn't say anything about diverse death in death; she's just trying to give you a hug.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Sound drums and trumpets! Farewell sour annoy!

For here, I hope, begins our lasting joy.

 

King Edward IV

King Henry the Sixth Part III       Act V, Scene vii, Line 46

Today’s rhyming couplet brings us to the end of the Henry plays. There are six plays covering the reigns of Henrys four, five, and six, and this is the end of that saga. In fact, this whole long saga begins with Richard II who was succeeded (deposed) by the Henry IV, and the saga will continue and finally end with Richard III who will succeed Edward. King Edward IV, today’s speaker, ended Henry VI's reign, but Edward’s reign was brief and relatively uneventful, so he doesn’t get a play of his own.

This whole saga, from Richard II, thru the three Henry’s and finishing up with Richard III (who succeeds Edward) is sometimes referred to as Will’s Henriad. Historically this saga is known as the Wars of the Roses.

And there’s your history lesson for this Sunday morning. Comments anyone?

ZZZZZZZZ

He didn't quite make it to the end of the history lesson.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

What trade, thou knave? Thou naughty knave, what trade?

Marullus

Julius Caesar         Act I, Scene i, Line 15

Here’s something interesting. I initially went to the wrong page in my compilation. I picked page 582, but inadvertently went to 584. It was a better line than Today’s above. It was Cassius talking to Brutus about Caesar. He’s pointing out to Brutus that the people are treating Caesar like a god when he’s no better than anyone else. In the line that I picked in error he’s specifically talking about when he, Cassius, was swimming across a river with Caesar.

The torrent roar’d; and we did buffet it

With lusty sinews, throwing it aside

And stemming it with hearts of controversy:

But ere we could arrive at the point proposed,

Caesar cried, ‘Help me, Cassius, or I sink!’

I, as Aeneas, our great ancestor,

Did from the flames of Troy upon his shoulder

The old Anchises bear, so from the waves of Tiber

Did I the tired Caesar: and this man

Is now become a god; and Cassius is

A wretched creature, and must bend his body,

If Caesar carelessly but nod on him.

It sounds like Cassius has a bit of a chip on his shoulder. Wouldn’t you agree?

Anyway, as interesting as that is, here’s something even better: I listened to this whole scene this morning, Act one – Scene two, and I noticed not one, not two, but three famous lines in it. See if they’re familiar to you.

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars…

Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;

It was Greek to me.

Interesting, eh? Hopefully you’re familiar with at least one of those, if not all.

And that’s how you avoid discussing a Totally Random line about which you have nothing to say. Pretty clever, eh?

Yond Mojo has a lean and hungry look, doesn't he?