Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently with him: let me alone.

-Sir Toby Belch

Twelfth Night; Or, What You Will        Act III, scene iv, line 96

I’m pretty sure that I’ve said this before, but Sir Toby reminds me a lot of Sir John Falstaff. He's a conniving character who's usually up to finding ways to get by on someone else's dime. Having said that, right here he's talking with his friends about Malvolio whom they’ve been given leave to deal with as they see fit. Well, sort of. It seems that they’ve been playing a joke on Malvolio and now they’ve got him to the point where he’s a bit confused and they’re getting ready to throw him into a dark room. If that sounds like it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, well, I guess it doesn't. 

On the other hand, the name of this play is Twelfth Night, which is a Christmas themed title and this play's got nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas or Christmas time. So what do you say to that?

 

Since Will didn't give us anything in the play that's Christmas themed, and since it's called Twelfth Night, and since today is December 13, I thought we needed some Christmas in today's pic. So here you go.

But old folks, many feign as they were dead;

Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.--



-Juliet



Romeo And Juliet                            Act II, scene iv, line 16




I’m sixty-two years old. So what’s this old folks crap?



Well apparently Juliet’s nurse is no spring chicken. This is the beginning of the scene and Juliet is talking to herself in the Capulet orchard. She’s sent her nurse with a message to Romeo, and now she’s waiting for the nurse's return and the expected reply from Romeo. The nurse promised to be back in a half hour and now three hours have passed. Juliet is growing understandably very impatient and remarking that if the nurse were young she’d be moving a lot faster. But the nurse is not young. She’s unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead. 

Then right after this line Nurse does show up and Juliet spends a half a page trying to drag Romeo’s message out of her while Nurse spends the same half page trying to catch her breath. 
Well, okay, I guess the nurse does remind me a little bit of myself. But just a little bit.

Unwieldy?

Slow?

Heavy and pale as lead?

Or maybe just a little bit discombobulated. 

The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,

And you are stay’d for.

-Polonius

Hamlet                                              Act I, scene iii, line 55

Believe it or not, this is the second line of Polonius’s speech where he’s sending his son, Laertes, off to college, and in it he gives him all sorts of advice, some of which you will be very familiar with, and probably a little surprised to realize that these little pearls are from Will. Amongst the most familiar there’s Neither a borrower or a lender be, and of course that great one This above all,-- to thine own self be true.

I’m sure you’ve heard these before, but were you aware that these are Will’s lines? Yeah, actually I was.

 

He's got his hotdog, fries, and lemonade and the best seat on the ship. I think it's safe to say The wind sits in the shoulder of his sail.

Thou shalt not back till I have borne this corse

Into the market-place: there shall I try,

In my oration, how the people take

The cruel issue of these bloody men;

-Marcus Antonius

Julius Caesar                      Act III, scene i, line 292

First off, corse is corpse. Secondly, the corpse herein is Julius Caesar. Mark Antony is not one of the conspirators who killed Caesar; far from it. Cassius, Brutus, and company have just killed Caesar, and Mark Antony is going to go eulogize the fallen leader and turn Rome against Cassius, Brutus and company. Antony’s eulogy is one of the more famous of Will’s speeches. It’s that Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears speech.

In this scene Mark Antony is talking to a servant of Octavius Caesar and asking him for help with the corpse before the servant goes back to Octavius.

Our meeting is Bridgenorth: and , Harry, you

Shall march through Glostershire; by which account,

Our business valued, some twelve days hence

Our general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.



-King Henry



King Henry The Fourth Part I             Act III, scene ii, line 177



So they are apparently going to hook up in Bridgenorth. Well I’m from a town called Bridgeport. So should we assume that these are both towns named for Bridges? One with a bridge in the north and one with a bridge in, on or near a port? I'm not familiar with the bridge in my hometown that it's named after. 
In any event, King Henry is being somewhat emphatic that they are going to all meet in Bridgenorth. He starts the sentence saying such and ends the sentence repeating it. Bridgenorth folks. It's going to be Bridgenorth. Need I repeat it one more time? Yes, Bridgenorth.

These four are from Bridgeport: and a quartet of first cousins they are; living now in Tennessee, Tucson, Bethlehem, and Sydney, but all originally from Bridgeport.

There, I started and ended the sentence with Bridgeport, but not Bridgenorth. Got it? Bridgeport.

What other

Would you expect? You are strangely

        troublesome.—



-Gardiner



King Henry The Eighth              Act V, scene ii, line 128



Gardiner is talking to Cranmer who’s about to be led away to the Tower of London, and we all know what that means. He’s pleading for mercy and this is Gardiner’s response. That is to say, Cranmer is pleading for his life and Gardiner is finding it all a bit annoying. How strange it is that someone being condemned would plead for their life. This Gardiner fellow seems like quite the understanding and caring guy, doesn’t he? 
NOT!

I figured that this is one of those lines that would take me forever to find a picture for. So to save time, and since this is a Totally Random thing, I went in and just picked a Totally Random picture. I guess we can think of it as where Cranmer is picturing his next home to be after his short stay in the Tower (beneath a gravestone), and so that's why he's being so strangely troublesome. That kind of works, right?

Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something embolden’d me to this unseason’d intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.



-Ford



The Merry Wives Of Windsor        Act II, scene ii, line 167



Do they really say that, the last part there? If money do go before, all ways do lie open. What do you think of that? I’ve never heard it put quite like that. They do say that anything can be bought. They say it’s all about the Benjamins, and money makes the world go round. And there’s probably a lot of other money expressions. But the one in today’s Totally Random line is pretty good. In fact, I think this one is worth us trying to get it into the vernacular. 
        They say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. 
Yeah, we’ll try to work that one in at least once today. You should try too.

This is a picture of the first dollar I ever made from writing. Actually, it's the only dollar I ever made from writing. So this goes completely against today's line. Writing is important to me and I'm going to try to do a second book. And money? Well maybe that will come. Maybe it won't. What do you think of that?