Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

There is a lady of Verona here

Whom I affect; but she is nice and coy,

And naught esteems my aged eloquence:

 

Duke of Milan

The Two Gentlemen of Verona     Act III, Scene i, Line 81

 

Now, I’m not exactly sure what Whom I affect means here. It could mean whom I have an effect on. That’s what it would mean today. If you look up affect in the MW it just means to have an effect on, and based on the Duke calling the lady nice and coy he could mean that he’s having an effect on her, but she won’t admit it because, well, she’s too nice and too coy. However, maybe the duke is having no effect on her. Therefore, he is saying he likes her. If you look affect in the Shakespeare glossary it’s got half a dozen meanings. The first is the same as the modern MW definition, but one of the other ones is to like something: if you affect it, you like it. This seems to be the way it’s being used here: the duke has no effect on the woman (she has an effect on him), but he likes her.

I guess that’s a little confusing. I have to say, though, that I like the aged eloquence part. In fact, I would say that lately I am embracing my aged eloquence. I am doing my best to affect an air of aged eloquence. Though I think if I met you, I might not have that effect upon you.

Now, as a public service announcement (and since I probably completely confused you), here is a quick reminder of how to use affect and effect in modern parlance.

Affect is almost always the verb (remember: Affect is to Act)

Effect is almost always the noun (I don’t have a catchy way to remember this, other than it’s not an Action and therefore does not start with A).

I hope I have not affected you in a negative way with all this talk about affect and effect.

In fact, I hope it’s had a positive effect on you.

Most certainly you can see the air of aged eloquence being displayed here. 

Notice also, that I didn't use affect or effect in that sentence! 

You're welcome.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

Why, fear not, man; I will not forfeit it:

Within these two months, that’s a month before

This bond expires, I do expect return

Of thrice three times the value of this bond.

 

Antonio

The Merchant of Venice                Act I, Scene iii, Line 155

  

Talk about famous last words. And what have I said about expectations? Life is all about expectations, isn’t it? Of course, if Antonio was a bit more cautious and not so eager to rely on his expectations, then perhaps he wouldn’t have taken the deal, and then I guess we wouldn’t have much of a story, would we?

In any event, lots of expectations here. Antonio expects his ships to be back in time to pay the loan (good luck with that), Bassanio expects that three thousand ducats will be enough for him to win over Portio (turns out he’s right about that), and Shylock expects… well, I’m not sure what he expects. In fact, I think he might be the smartest one here, because he’s not relying on expectations. If Antonio forfeits the loan, Shylock gets a pound of flesh, and it appears that he really dislikes Antonio so that this pound of flesh will be a good thing for Shylock. If Antonio doesn’t forfeit, then Shylock gets his money back, and being the shrewd businessman that he is, that would also be a good thing. No, it appears that Shylock is not relying on any expectations. I guess he’s the smartest one of them all, eh? Well, until Act IV, Scene i he is, but not so much then.

And speaking of expectations - I expect it's about time (actually, well past about time) to get back to working on Merchant. I can't be letting drawings like this go to waste, can I?

I expect not. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

           

I have been closely shrouded in this bush,

And markt you both, and for you both did blush:

I heard your guilty rimes, observed your fashion,

Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion:

Ah me! says one: O Jove! the other cries:

One her hairs were gold, crystal the other’s eyes:

You would for paradise break faith and troth;

And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath.

 

King

Love’s Labour’s Lost                    Act IV, Scene iii, Line 140

 

This is a fairly memorable scene from Love’s Labour’s Lost. The king and his three buddies show up one by one, each moaning to themselves about being in love (remember, they all took an oath to swear off women). As each one shows up, the previous one hides to eavesdrop, and then they each come out of hiding one by one. The king is the second one to advance from his hiding place and he’s chiding Dumaine and Longaville. Browne will advance in a moment and address them all.

Now here’s the thing: I saw this play performed live less than six months ago. And yet, I do not remember this scene from that production. I certainly remember going to the play, and the play in general, and I also remember that I could not understand most of what the actors were saying. It seemed to me that that were not enunciating their words clearly; except for Don Adriano de Armando. The young fellow playing him did an excellent job of speaking clearly. As for the rest, whilst they all seemed to be doing a credible acting job based on their tones and actions, I couldn’t understand what the heck any of them were saying. And it didn’t matter whether they were speaking words written in 1595 or 1995, I just couldn’t make out the words. Now, was it because of my hearing? Was it because they were talking too fast, or too slurred? Was it because they were all speaking with a southern accent? Belikes, it was a combination of all of the above.

In any event, I’m familiar with today’s scene, but I don’t remember it from that performance. And that’s too bad.

This is a crimson bee eater. It's a very pretty bird. Why am I giving you this picture? Well, I just realized that I've complained about Shakespeare productions for two days in a row. So, no more complaining for now; just a picture of a very pretty bird. 

How's that?

Hold on; I just looked up the spelling to see if I needed to hyphenate bee-eater. I do. I also need to correct myself. It's a carmine bee-eater, not crimson. 

Carmine Bee-Eater.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

           

I think it be no other but e’en so:

Well may it sort, that this portentous figure

Comes armed through our watch; so like the king

That was and is the question of these wars.

 

Bernardo

Hamlet                            Act I, Scene i, Line 111

 

Remember, we’re on the parapet, or actually, A platform before the castle (is that the parapet?). Anyway, these guys are on watch duty and the ghost of the recently deceased King Hamlet had just appeared to them. As they get over the shock, Marcellus asks Horatio why the country seems like it’s preparing for war. The latter tells him that it’s because young Fortinbras of Norway is rumored to be getting ready to come and take back land that his father lost to the aforementioned King Hamlet. Bernardo responds with today’s lines, agreeing that this must be the case. Well may it sort, is just well may it be.

There’s only one problem here: I recently watched Branagh’s four hour movie production of Hamlet, and Jack Lemon played one of these guards. Now don’t get me wrong, Jack Lemon was a fine actor. But he is so terribly out of place and mismatched for this role. There’s just no way I can get Jack Lemon’s face out of my mind when thinking about this scene. This scene has been ruined for me by Jack Lemon.

Ohh, what a sad, sad state of affairs! Damn that Jack Lemon!

 Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

           

A terrible childbed hast thou had, my dear;

No light, no fire: th’unfriendly elements

Forgot thee utterly; nor have I time

To give thee hallow’d to thy grave, but straight

Must cast thee, scarcely coffin’d, in the ooze;

Where, for a monument upon thy bones,

And r'er-remaining lamps, the belching whale

And humming water must o’erwhelm thy corpse,

Lying with simple shells. — O, Lychorida,

Bid Nestor bring me spices, ink, and paper,

My casket and my jewels; and bid Nicander

Bring me the satin coffer: lay the babe

Upon the pillow: hie thee, whiles I say

A priestly farewell to her: suddenly, woman. 

 

Pericles

Pericles                           Act III, Scene i, Line 56

I constantly associate one and two digit numbers that I come across with athletes. So this is act three, scene one, line Lawrence Taylor. And no, I don’t have an athlete for every number from one to one hundred. Talk about random, eh?

Anyway, I gave you Pericles’s whole speech here, instead of cutting out a little piece of it. And wow, there’s a lot going on here. Long story short: he’s on a boat at sea, in a storm. His wife, moments ago, died in childbirth. One of the sailors has told Pericles that his wife’s body must be thrown overboard to appease the gods and ease the storm. And that’s where we are. Pericles is speaking to his dead wife.  I’ll give you my summary of what he’s saying in the lines above, line by line.

Remember, he starts out here talking to his dead wife (he finishes up talking to the nurse-servant). 

You had a rotten birthing, dear,

No light, no fire; the unfriendly elements

Forgot thee completely: nor have I time

To put thee in a hallowed grave. 

I must cast thee, barely in thy coffin, into the sea,

Where for a gravestone upon your bones and ever-remaining eyes,

The belching whale and humming water will overwhelm your body

As it lies with simple shells. 

And then he finishes by telling the nurse-servant to go tell some other servants to bring him a bunch of specific stuff from below, and to lay the newborn on a pillow there whilst he, Pericles, says a few words over the dead body. 

There. What do you think of that?

I was at the seashore on Monday, and it made me think of a song. And it seems somehow appropriate for today's lines. So here you go. 

(9) maggie and milly and molly and may - YouTube

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

The service and the loyalty I owe,

In doing it, pays itself. Your Highness’ part

Is to receive our duties; and our duties

Are to your throne and state children and servants;

Which do but what they should by doing everything

Safe toward your love and honour.

 

Macbeth

Macbeth                        Act I, Scene iv, Line 24

 

And oh, by the way, I’ll be stabbing you to death whilst you sleep tonight. Yah.

So this is Macbeth talking to King Duncan about how loyal he is to the guy. I mean, given that we know that Macbeth has already decided to murder the king, what an absolutely schmuck thing to say to him. And along this line, here’s Macbeth’s aside, a little further down, right after King Duncan talks about his own eldest son, Malcom, becoming the Prince of Cumberland and next in line to the throne.

 

        The Prince of Cumberland! That is a step

        On which I must fall down, or else o’erleap,

        For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires,

        Let not light see my black and deep desires;

        The eye wink at the hand; yet let that be

        Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.

 

Again, yah.

Nuthin. I got nuthin else for you today. However, and as unrelated from today's line as is possible, 

Happy Birthday John!

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

           

Good Grandam, tell us, is our father dead?

Son

King Richard the Third     Act II, Scene ii, Line 1

 

And Grandam answers, ‘No, boy.’ Which, of course is a bald-faced lie. She knows darn well her son Clarence, the boy's father, is dead as a doornail, and she admits as such a few lines down. Or perhaps you could say she wasn’t lying, because perhaps she was saying, ‘No, boy. I’m not going to tell you if your father is dead.’ After all, who would want to tell a kid that?

But here’s something even more interesting. A few lines further, the Queen shows up with her hair about her ears. That’s the stage direction: Enter the Queen, with her hair about her ears. And I thought, well, where else is your hair going to be? I mean, my hair, albeit a little long, is always about my ears. Isn’t that where it belongs? I don’t want it about my nose or chin, or something else.

Just then Patrice breezes in, all dressed and ready to go (she’s usually in her pj’s at this point in the morning). So I asked her what she thought that stage direction meant, and she said it probably means the queen didn’t have time to put her hair up, so it means she’s a bit disheveled. 

And since her first lines (the queen’s first lines, not Patrice’s) are
O, who shall hinder me to wail and weep,
To chide my fortune, and torment myself?
the fact that she might be disheveled seems to make pretty good sense.

Now this is fairly momentous on two counts (I’m talking about Patrice’s comment, not on the queen’s dishevelment): one, it’s momentous that Patrice did such a good job interpreting Will’s writing, and two, it’s even more momentous that she did ANY job of interpreting Will’s writing, rather than just mumbling ‘stupid Shakespeare’ under her breath, as she walked away.

So, kudos to Patrice this morning. 

And here's my indefatigable Shakespeare expert being an intrepid explorer on safari in Botswana. We felt like the royal family at this point, but for some reason she decided to do her Winston Churchill impression instead. I guess she felt she didn't have a good Queen Elizabeth ready to go. 

You will notice, though, that she does not have her hair about her ears. So, be it Winston or Elizabeth (we're not sure), you can call her what you will; but just don't call her disheveled.