Today’s Totally Random Lines

  

What’s the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon’s with savages and men of Ind, ha? I have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils.

Stephano

The Tempest                   Act II, Scene ii,  Line xxx

 

And it shall be said so again while Stephano breathes at’s nostrils. That’s exactly where I landed with today’s random pick, but you really need the rest of the paragraph to make any sense out of that one line.

This, of course, is Stephano reacting to the sight of Trinculo hiding underneath Caliban.

“It’s a monster!” yells Stephano, “What’s more than that,

It’s a monster that’s sick, from the sound of it’s hack,”

And of course in his stupor ol’ Stephano’s sure

That a swig of his liquor’s the thing that will cure.

So he grabs howling Caliban tight by the nose,

And straight down the beast’s throat with the liquor he goes,

And Caliban feels it right down to his toes.

That’s a retelling of The Tempest that I’m quoting from.

And here's the pic from that retelling.

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

 Escalus,--

Duke

Measure For Measure           Act I, Scene 1,  Line 1

This is the first line, actually the first word, of the play. The Duke is starting his sentence, speaking to Escalus. Escalus has the second two words,
My lord?

And then the duke gets into it. Into what? I have no idea. Here, check out the beginning of what the duke is saying to Escalus.

Of government the properties to unfold,
Would seem in me t’affect speech and discourse;
Since I am put to know that your own science
Exceeds, in that, the list of all advice
My strength can give you: then no more remains
But that to your sufficiency, as your worth is able,
And let them work.

There, that’s the first sentence of the play. If you’re anything like me (which is silly to say because I’m sure you’re not) you’re saying “What the fahrfugnugen?”

Now, if you look at that sentence you will quickly realize that there are no tough words in it. The vocabulary is nothing special; we know what every word means. But taken as a whole? Oy. Or perhaps Oyee Vey!

Yup, it’s Will messing with syntax. And to think, he’s decided to make that the first sentence of the whole play! What the heck Will! What were you thinking?!

And we’re expecting school kids in 2023 to understand this? We’re expecting these kids to believe this is written in modern English? 

Oy!

Picture? Are you kidding me? What would I give you a picture of?

 

Today’s Totally Random Lines

 

Most military sir, salutation.

Holofernes

Love’s Labour’s Lost                     Act V, Scene I,  Line 78

I have no idea what’s going on in this scene. Half of it’s in Latin. Yes, I saw this play a few years ago, but I think I told you then that I couldn’t understand much of what the actors were saying. I guess that Armando is some sort of military guy since today’s line is merely Holofernes addressing him.

I do know a little about this play, enough to know that it’s a comedy and has some scenes that are nothing more than comedic wordplay. Holofernes and Armando, the man Holofernes is addressing, are a schoolteacher and a fantastical Spaniard respectively. I’m not sure that’s helpful in any way, but it’s a tidbit of information that was easy to come up with.

Okay, so here's the thing with this picture. We were staying at a really nice resort a few miles south of Cadiz, Spain. We were having a real nice dinner there; you can see my associate and me chowing down. Well, this lady in the background was, obviously, at this same resort in this same really nice restaurant, and she just looked miserable. She was sitting at that table with a guy who you can't see in this picture. 

So (wait for it, here comes the relevance) I can't help but think that the fellow at that table couldn't have been much of a fantastical Spaniard for that woman to be so miserable. 

What do you think?

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

There’s some ill planet reigns:
I must be patient till the heavens look
With an aspect more favourable. Good my lords,

I am not prone to weeping, as our sex

Commonly are; the want of which vain dew

Perchance shall dry your pities; but I have

that honourable grief lodged here which burns

Worse than tears drown: beseech you all, my lords,

With thought so qualified as your charities 

Shall best instruct you, measure me; and so

The king's will be performed!

 

Hermione

The Winter’s Tale       Act II,  Scene i,  Line 107

 

You should know by now that The Winter’s Tale begins with the king, Leontes, becoming convinced that his wife, Hermione, is having an affair with the King of Bohemia. There is no infidelity whatsoever taking place, but that doesn’t stop Leontes from having his wife thrown in prison for this supposed crime.

Hermione’s speech above is her acceptance of this fate. It’s pretty understandable; no crazy words, and relatively straight forward syntax. I don’t feel a need to explain it any further to you.

Would you like to comment on it? Perhaps you’d like to say (particularly if you’re of the female persuasion) that this whole thing - the plot of the play, these lines, all of it - is nothing but out and out sexism. Perhaps you have a better word for it. It would certainly be understandable of you to say that. But if that’s how you feel, are you upset with the author for writing this? He’s dead, you know. So being upset with him won’t get you too far. Are you upset with our current culture because Shakespeare’s works are still so central to it? Well that’s rather shortsighted, don’t you think?

When a conservative wants to ban a book about gay kids or about a view of history they don’t like, the liberals scream ‘Book burners!’

When a liberal wants to change a flag they don’t like, for whatever reason, the conservatives scream ‘Woke!’

And now, when many of us want to keep Shakespeare in our world, some of you will scream ‘Sexist!’

 Who’s right, and who’s wrong? Is there a right and a wrong?

Aren’t we all alike in that we are all just carbon-based beings lost in the weeds?

Well, we went pretty far afield this morning didn't we!

Carbon-based beings lost in the weeds? Where the heck did that come from?

Anyway, here's something we should all be able to agree on: it's a picture of a pair of my big underpants lost in the weeds. Yes, that's exactly what it is.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 

But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland,

I take not on me here as a physician;

Nor do I, as an enemy to peace,

Troop in the throngs of military men;

But, rather, show a while like fearful war,

To diet rank minds sick of happiness,

And purge th’obstructions which begin to stop

Our very veins of life.

 

 

Archbishop of York

King Henry the Fourth Part II        Act IV,  Scene i,  Line 60

 

Holy moly, that’s a mouthful. Let’s see if we can do something, anything, with this.

Westmoreland has shown up in the rebel camp as a representative of Prince John. He has asked the Archbishop why he’s involved in this insurrection. The Archbishop answers that they are all diseased, suffering from the same thing that killed King Richard (I believe he’s speaking figuratively here). But, he says as he gets into today’s lines, I’m not a doctor and don’t even play one on tv. Then he goes into the lines above that I can’t quite fathom. He seems to realize that he’s speaking in riddles, though, because his next line is Hear me more plainly. Absolutely! Please, be more plain!

Basically he goes on to say that they have a list of grievances that the king won’t even look at. So apparently the rebels are pissed off about a bunch of things, and the king doesn’t care.

Why didn’t he just lead with that? 

This little guy's got no list of grievances. 

He just wants to sit on my shoulder and watch the cars go by.

But that can be pretty exhausting. 

He soon gets tuckered out, 

and he needs to rest.

You can bet that Mojo's not going to let any

 obstructions block up the very veins of his life. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 I’ll so offend, to make offence a skill;

Redeeming time, when men think least I will.

  

Prince Henry

King Henry the Fourth Part I        Act I,  Scene ii,  Line 221

 

This is a short soliloquy that ends the scene. In this scene we’re introduced to Prince Henry (known as Hal to his drinking buddies), in a London tavern. At the end of the scene Prince Henry, alone and speaking to himself, talks about how he’ll shine all the brighter once he becomes king because of the low expectation he is raising for himself as a ne'er do well prince.

If I’m not mistaken, Hal’s father made a similar speech about himself before becoming king. At that time, he spoke of how King Richard was always in the public eye and that he, Henry, would be less in the public eye and therefore shine brighter, like the sun, when he was.

Like father, like son.

Like Father...

Like Son?

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

        O my poor father!

The heaven set spies upon us, will not have

Our contract celebrated.

 

Perdita

The Winter’sTale        Act V,  Scene i,  Line 202

 

Oscar’s my friend, he’s sick, and I’m a cop.
   -Murray the Cop

Okay, I’m reading today’s lines out of the blue without any idea of what’s going on here. They seem to be as completely non sequitur as the famous lines from The Odd Couple that I quoted above. But wait; I guess Perdita is saying that the heavens are doing both things: setting spies and keeping the contract from being settled. So, okay, it makes sense. Will just loves to leave key parts of a sentence (like the subject) out, doesn’t he?

But check out these next lines that follow,

Leontes
You are married?

Florizel
We are not, sir, nor are we like to be;
The stars, I see, will kiss the valleys first:-
The odds for high and low’s alike.

I love the stars will kiss the valleys first. In other words, the stars will fall out of the sky, or hell will freeze over, before we ever get married. But that’s gorgeous: The stars will kiss the valley first. Beautiful.

See, these are the hidden gems we find doing a random line a day. The stars will kiss the valley before I ever would have found this line otherwise!

The most recent pic of the six sibs.

The stars will kiss the valleys ere we pass up the chance to get a pic when we are all together. We just don't all get together in one place all that often any more.