Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

There’s some ill planet reigns:
I must be patient till the heavens look
With an aspect more favourable. Good my lords,

I am not prone to weeping, as our sex

Commonly are; the want of which vain dew

Perchance shall dry your pities; but I have

that honourable grief lodged here which burns

Worse than tears drown: beseech you all, my lords,

With thought so qualified as your charities 

Shall best instruct you, measure me; and so

The king's will be performed!

 

Hermione

The Winter’s Tale       Act II,  Scene i,  Line 107

 

You should know by now that The Winter’s Tale begins with the king, Leontes, becoming convinced that his wife, Hermione, is having an affair with the King of Bohemia. There is no infidelity whatsoever taking place, but that doesn’t stop Leontes from having his wife thrown in prison for this supposed crime.

Hermione’s speech above is her acceptance of this fate. It’s pretty understandable; no crazy words, and relatively straight forward syntax. I don’t feel a need to explain it any further to you.

Would you like to comment on it? Perhaps you’d like to say (particularly if you’re of the female persuasion) that this whole thing - the plot of the play, these lines, all of it - is nothing but out and out sexism. Perhaps you have a better word for it. It would certainly be understandable of you to say that. But if that’s how you feel, are you upset with the author for writing this? He’s dead, you know. So being upset with him won’t get you too far. Are you upset with our current culture because Shakespeare’s works are still so central to it? Well that’s rather shortsighted, don’t you think?

When a conservative wants to ban a book about gay kids or about a view of history they don’t like, the liberals scream ‘Book burners!’

When a liberal wants to change a flag they don’t like, for whatever reason, the conservatives scream ‘Woke!’

And now, when many of us want to keep Shakespeare in our world, some of you will scream ‘Sexist!’

 Who’s right, and who’s wrong? Is there a right and a wrong?

Aren’t we all alike in that we are all just carbon-based beings lost in the weeds?

Well, we went pretty far afield this morning didn't we!

Carbon-based beings lost in the weeds? Where the heck did that come from?

Anyway, here's something we should all be able to agree on: it's a picture of a pair of my big underpants lost in the weeds. Yes, that's exactly what it is.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 

But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland,

I take not on me here as a physician;

Nor do I, as an enemy to peace,

Troop in the throngs of military men;

But, rather, show a while like fearful war,

To diet rank minds sick of happiness,

And purge th’obstructions which begin to stop

Our very veins of life.

 

 

Archbishop of York

King Henry the Fourth Part II        Act IV,  Scene i,  Line 60

 

Holy moly, that’s a mouthful. Let’s see if we can do something, anything, with this.

Westmoreland has shown up in the rebel camp as a representative of Prince John. He has asked the Archbishop why he’s involved in this insurrection. The Archbishop answers that they are all diseased, suffering from the same thing that killed King Richard (I believe he’s speaking figuratively here). But, he says as he gets into today’s lines, I’m not a doctor and don’t even play one on tv. Then he goes into the lines above that I can’t quite fathom. He seems to realize that he’s speaking in riddles, though, because his next line is Hear me more plainly. Absolutely! Please, be more plain!

Basically he goes on to say that they have a list of grievances that the king won’t even look at. So apparently the rebels are pissed off about a bunch of things, and the king doesn’t care.

Why didn’t he just lead with that? 

This little guy's got no list of grievances. 

He just wants to sit on my shoulder and watch the cars go by.

But that can be pretty exhausting. 

He soon gets tuckered out, 

and he needs to rest.

You can bet that Mojo's not going to let any

 obstructions block up the very veins of his life. 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 I’ll so offend, to make offence a skill;

Redeeming time, when men think least I will.

  

Prince Henry

King Henry the Fourth Part I        Act I,  Scene ii,  Line 221

 

This is a short soliloquy that ends the scene. In this scene we’re introduced to Prince Henry (known as Hal to his drinking buddies), in a London tavern. At the end of the scene Prince Henry, alone and speaking to himself, talks about how he’ll shine all the brighter once he becomes king because of the low expectation he is raising for himself as a ne'er do well prince.

If I’m not mistaken, Hal’s father made a similar speech about himself before becoming king. At that time, he spoke of how King Richard was always in the public eye and that he, Henry, would be less in the public eye and therefore shine brighter, like the sun, when he was.

Like father, like son.

Like Father...

Like Son?

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

        O my poor father!

The heaven set spies upon us, will not have

Our contract celebrated.

 

Perdita

The Winter’sTale        Act V,  Scene i,  Line 202

 

Oscar’s my friend, he’s sick, and I’m a cop.
   -Murray the Cop

Okay, I’m reading today’s lines out of the blue without any idea of what’s going on here. They seem to be as completely non sequitur as the famous lines from The Odd Couple that I quoted above. But wait; I guess Perdita is saying that the heavens are doing both things: setting spies and keeping the contract from being settled. So, okay, it makes sense. Will just loves to leave key parts of a sentence (like the subject) out, doesn’t he?

But check out these next lines that follow,

Leontes
You are married?

Florizel
We are not, sir, nor are we like to be;
The stars, I see, will kiss the valleys first:-
The odds for high and low’s alike.

I love the stars will kiss the valleys first. In other words, the stars will fall out of the sky, or hell will freeze over, before we ever get married. But that’s gorgeous: The stars will kiss the valley first. Beautiful.

See, these are the hidden gems we find doing a random line a day. The stars will kiss the valley before I ever would have found this line otherwise!

The most recent pic of the six sibs.

The stars will kiss the valleys ere we pass up the chance to get a pic when we are all together. We just don't all get together in one place all that often any more.  

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

I thought ye would never have given out these arms till you had recover’d your ancient freedom: but you are all recreants and dastards, and delight to live in slavery to the nobility.

 

Jack Cade

King Henry the Sixth Part II      Act IV,  Scene viii,  Line 27

 

It’s Jack Cade the rabble rouser taking here, and his rabble is about to realize that they’re going to be better off remaining loyal to the king than they would be following him. Jack is only a few lines away from hightailing it out of there. Next stop for him is Iden’s garden, two scenes later, where he will find his end amongst the tomato plants.

I can think of a few big mouth world leaders that the world would be better off if they found their end amongst the tomato plants before they can do any more damage. Yes, the world today has quite a few Jack Cades. Quel dommage!

Well, I didn't have any tomato (or orange) pictures handy, so you'll have to settle for this picture of a banana. Yes, that's right, a banana. 

Feel free to call me a recreant or dastard if you like.  

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 Bring in the banquet quickly; wine enough Cleopatra’s health to drink.

Domitius Enobarbus

Antony and Cleopatra      Act I,  Scene ii,  Line 12

The scene, at this point both before and after Enobarbus’s line, is about Charmian getting her palm read. We have Charmian, Iras, Alexas, and the Soothsayer on stage as Enobarbus makes his entrance. His line seems to be ignored by everyone present as they continue to discuss Charmian’s fortune based on her palm reading.

It’s a bit odd. 

Anything?

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

  

                          But hear thee, Gratiano:

Thou art too wild, too rude, and bold of voice,-

Parts that become thee happily enough,

And in such eyes as ours appear not faults;

But where thou art not known, why, there thy show

Something too liberal. Prithee, take pain

To allay with some cold drops of modesty

Thy skipping spirit; lest, through thy wild behaviour,

I be misconstrued in the place I go to,

And lose my hopes.

  

Bassiano

The Merchant of Venice           Act II,  Scene ii,  Line 184

 

Bassiano has told Gratiano that he can come with him to Belmont, and in today’s lines he’s telling him to behave.

Yes, I gave you two sentences. I did this because today’s random line is the one that begins Showing too liberal. Thus it has the end of one sentence and the beginning of another. But though I gave you ten lines, they’re an easy ten lines; easy to read and understand. At least, I think they are.

And here’s something interesting: the first line is an example of using a comma whilst addressing someone. But hear thee, (comma) Gratiano. Some would construe that as validation for using a comma in the sentence Thanks, Pete, when thanking Pete for something. Some would, but probably not me.

Before we accept that this is proof positive, we would need to consider a few things:
For starters, Will made up the rules as he went along.
For enders, we know that the only sanctioned copy of the plays was published after his death, and that the final say on punctuation and spelling in that printed copy was made by the guys who were doing the very laborious task of setting the type in the printing press, mostly letter by letter, and punctuation mark by punctuation mark.

So before we point to this and say, Ah hah! It must be right because that’s how Will does it! Before we say that, I would say… well what would I say? I would say it’s a nice Friday morning here in my safe and sound living room, and I would say to Will, Thanks for the example. That’s right, I’d say –

Thanks, Will.

 

Diane Hacker's The Bedford Handbook. The section on commas goes from page 382 to 408. That's twenty-six pages, but I couldn't find the answer to the question.

Thanks for nothing, Diane.

or should I say,

Thanks for nothing Diane.

Who knows?

 Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

I have a venturous fairy that shall seek

The squirrel’s hoard, and fetch thee new nuts.

 

Titania
A Midsummer Night’s Dream       Act IV,  Scene i,  Line 33

Bottom asked for hay, but I guess he’s gonna get nuts. He’s currently got the head of an ass, but he’s got Titania doting on him, and he’s got the fairies at his beck and call. He’s also not fully aware that he has the head of an ass, so it appears that Mr. Bottom is feeling pretty good about things just now. I suppose I would be pretty happy with his situation, at least on a temporary basis.
Bring on the nuts!

But wait, do I currently have the head of an ass without realizing it?

Am I wishing for hay but willing to settle for nuts?

Is the woman in love with me under some spell and not seeing me for who I truly am?

All interesting questions to think about, aren’t they? But let’s not dwell on it.

Again, bring on the nuts!

Oh wait, not those nuts!

No, I'm not referring to the two nuts in the picture; I'm talking about the tree nuts that my associate ate this weekend that landed us in the ER where this pic was taken. 

You gotta be careful with your nuts!

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 

Three thousand ducats for three months, and Antonio bound.

 

Shylock

The Merchant of Venice            Act I,  Scene iii,  Line 56

 

A ducat, of course, is some form of old Italian money. Antonio bound means that Antonio will sign for it.

Three thousand ducats. Shylock opens the scene with those words as he and Bassanio are discussing the loan. Three thousand ducats. This three thousand ducats might be considered the piece around which this whole play revolves. It’s the three thousand ducats that Bassanio needs to buy his way into the Portia lottery, and it’s the unpaid three thousand ducats that leads to the trial scene and the pound of flesh.

Three thousand ducats. As is so often the case, in this story it’s all about the Benjamins.

 

A Benjamin!

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 Come; come away, man- I was sent to call thee.

Panthino
Two Gentlemen of Verona    Act II,  Scene iii,  Line xx

Wouldn’t you know it; we were in this same scene just last week. And I bet you’re asking: Who the heck is Panthino? Well so am I.

Apparently he’s a minor character in this play who’s put in this scene for Launce to interact with. I’m not sure if he has any other scenes or not. I just looked it up: he has 36 lines, 81% in verse, making up less than 2% of the play's lines. He shows up in 3 scenes.

That’s probably quite a bit more than you really wanted to know about Panthino.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 

Nay, ‘twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; All the kind of Launces have this very fault.

 

Launce

Two Gentlemen Of Verona            Act II, Scene iii, Line 1

 

So this is the very first line of the scene. The setting is a street in Verona and the stage direction to start the scene is Enter Launce, leading his dog. That’s right - Launce has a dog. We don’t know if the dog is on a leash, or free roaming. We do, however, find out the dog’s name. It’s Crab. The dog is named Crab. And Launce spends the next thirty-five or so lines explaining how he and his entire family are sad that he has to leave to go to Milan with Proteus.

 Everyone is sad except Crab. Apparently, Crab couldn’t care less and Launce is finding that a bit upsetting. To be clear, Launce is described as a clownish servant to Proteus, so he’s basically in this play for the comedic value. And it’s a pretty silly soliloquy. It’s not that funny to read, but I can see how someone with comedic talent could make it funny on stage. I mean, how sad can you expect a dog to act?

I’ll have to listen to this scene sometime to see what I get out of it. Unfortunately, now is not that time. Unfortunately.

I don't have a picture of a Dog named Crab, but I do have a picture of a Cat named Bird. 

That will have to do. 

 

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

The lady stirs.                                   [Juliet awakes]

 

Friar Laurence

Romeo and Juliet           Act V, Scene iii, Line 147

 

It’s Friar Knucklehead talking today. Sounds like a movie title, doesn’t it? The Lady Stirs, starring Joan Crawford. Maybe it was. I don’t know. However, for today it’s not a movie title, it’s Friar Knucklehead seeing Juliet waking up. Romeo is already dead, and what’s the first thing Juliet says?

O comfortable friar! Where is my lord?

Comfortable friar: that’s an odd adjective, isn’t it? Comfortable? And she’s about to get from him anything but comfort when he tells her in his next lines that Romeo is dead. But of course, Friar Comfortable is a step ahead of her. He’s already got the next move mapped out.

Come, I’ll dispose of thee among a sisterhood of holy nuns.

Sure, she was planning on waking up and finding her love Romeo and spending the rest of her life with him.

But he’s dead, says Knucklehead, so get moving and I’ll have you settled in a nice comfy convent for the rest of your life. It’s almost the same thing. No need to thank me.

Friar Comfortable! Yah, I don’t think so. Let’s stick with Friar Knucklehead.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

Since, lords of England, it is thus agreed

That peaceful truce shall be proclaim’d in France,

We come to be informed by yourselves

What the conditions of that league must be.

 

Charles (King of France)

Henry the Sixth Part I           Act V, Scene iv, Line 116

Well, what about this line do I need to explain? I should think nothing. And what will come of nothing? One might say nothing.

And here's your pic for today. What is it? Nothing, of course.

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

 

So cowards fight when they can fly no further;

So doves do peck the falcon’s piercing talons;

So desperate thieves, all hopeless of their lives,

Breathe out invectives against the officers.

 

Clifford

Henry the Sixth Part III                Act I, Scene iv, Line 43

 

Good lines, eh? Clifford is addressing York who has been captured. York is being defiant in defeat, and today’s lines are Clifford’s response to that. I can particularly picture that last image: someone having been caught doing something illegal and swearing at the people who have caught them. Though in afterthought, I’ve probably only seen that in tv or the movies. But that’s the same as real life, isn’t it?

As always, I tried to find a relevant picture for today's post. Well, I thought I might be able to find a picture of a hawk, which is kind of like a falcon. But then I decided I would settle for a picture of any bird, so I settled on this picture of a parrot on Patrice's shoulder. 

Wait a minute; what the heck, that's not a parrot.