Mojo, The Bard, & Me

 

Today’s Totally Random Line(s)

 

Too modest are you;

More cruel to your good report than grateful

To us that give you truly: by your patience,

If ‘gainst yourself you be incensed, we’ll put 

you—

Like one that means his proper harm—in manacles,

Then reason safely with you. 

 

Cominius

Coriolanus              Act I, Scene ix, Line 56

 

Well, I should probably - oh what the heck, here you go; here's the rest of Cominius’s speech.

                            Therefore, be it known,
As to us, to all the world, that Caius Marcius
Wears this war’s garland: in token of the which,
My noble steed, known to the camp, I give him,
With all his trim belonging; and from this time,
For what he did before Corioli, call him,
With all the applause and clamor of the host,
Caius Marcius Coriolanus! Bear
The addition nobly ever!

There. A bit long winded is Cominius, but worth listening to nonetheless. It’s about fourteen lines, but only two sentences.

So, some context. Corioli is the Volscian town just captured in battle, and it was Caius Marcius’s heroics that won the day. Now they meet after the battle, and they are singing Marcius’s praises, but he will hear none of it. So Cominius starts in; first, with today’s Totally Random Line he’s telling Marcius that he’s being much too modest and that if they need to, they’ll restrain him, like someone who means himself harm, so that they can better reason with him. Then, in the additional part I gave you, Cominius continues, saying that in honour of Caius Marcius’s deeds at Corioli, he will forever hence be known as Caius Marcius Coriolanus.

And there you have it. This is the line where Coriolanus gets his name. Pretty good, eh?

I wonder if it was common practice back then to give someone the name of a town they had conquered? I can’t think of anyone in history, off the top of my head, getting this honor. Can you? Dwight Eisenhower Normandy? No. How about William Tecumseh Sherman Savannah? No, I don’t think so. Well there’s probably someone that maybe I’ll think of later today. Thomas Edison Lightbulb? Nah.

Anyway, getting back to Coriolanus. Act One, Scene Nine, that’s where Coriolanus becomes Coriolanus in the play called, well… Coriolanus. 

One final thought on this whole thing: Was it really necessary to put an anus on the end of Corioli? Honestly, what’s up with that? And, no, I’m not going to put a picture of an anus here. I think you know me a little better than that. I have said before, however, that the mere name of this play, with the anus on the end, should be enough to get teenage boys interested, just so they can snicker at the name Coriolanus. Oh what the heck, here’s the pic you’re looking for.

This is the famous Buttcheeks tomato. So if these are buttcheeks, there must be an anus in there somewhere. 

Wait, you didn't think I was going to give you an actual anus pic, did you?